Furious
by Peter the Muggle
Summary: Oneshot series. The Five and Po when they're not saving the Valley from crazy snow-leopards. New one-shot, Chapter 12: Song has little chat with Viper regarding a certain panda master.
1. Just A Little Observation

_A/N: Okay, first ever KFP fic! I really enjoyed the movie, since it was so different from the usual Dreamworks crap. I really appreciated the research they did for the film and even though I felt the voice actors were a bit on the overkill side, everybody performed surprisingly well, considering most the actors are not known for their distinct voices._

_I'm not really a fan of any particular pairing but I do like to add some twists and turns, so here's my take on a particularly popular pairing.

* * *

  
_

"No, there's a few lines that criss-cross obliquely from each other. The wavy lines go underneath those."

Crane suppressed the urge to groan and finally snap at the minute master observing his artwork.

"I'm pretty sure the wavy lines go _above_. I have to make room for the swirls." he muttered quietly, continuing the delicate brushstrokes on the sheet rice paper.

"Whatever man, but I'm telling' ya, that's _not_ how it goes."Mantis said nonchalantly, inspecting the barbs on his raptorial forelegs. The feigned indifference did not fool the ever-patient avian though.

Crane arched his slender neck to inspect his progress. The pattern, despite some uncertainties and improvisations on his part, looked exquisite. He was POSITIVE he got it perfect.

"_Dude_, that's not it! And you missed a couple of those leafy-things at the bottom." came the observation from the insect again.

Crane rolled his eyes and gave his small companion a light glare.

"You know, you're usually not this critical of my art." he stated casually.

"I'm not being _critical_! Just making some observations is all." Mantis said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck in an effort to maintain composure. He mentally cursed himself; despite being the smallest, he was also the strongest and the one with the biggest mouth. Figuratively speaking, anyway.

"Not to be rude, but what makes you such an expert on this?" the note of challenge in Crane's voice might have seemed light-hearted and even joking, but Mantis did not miss the agitation in it.

Crane never, _ever_, got agitated when it came to artwork; he took criticisms in stride, as was his calm demeanor.

So, even the bird considered this _particular_ piece of art special eh?

"Well, for starters, I'm smaller, so I can observe the smaller details." Mantis began amicably enough.

"Just because your small, doesn't make you observant." the bird countered with small grin. Crane prided himself, however quietly, on being the most observant and keen on details in his team. This trait quickly earned him the responsibility for espionage and reconaissance during battles and ambushes.

Of course, he used his keen eyes for other things other than scoping out hordes of barbarians or an opponent's slight limp or limb preference. He liked to observe the elegant landscapes overlooking the Valley of Peace.

It relaxed him immensely to observe things he found _beautiful_.

He found himself blushing and quickly shook his head. He was surprised to see the insect, now positioning his small frame closer to his field of vision, with a small smile.

"I've known _her_ longer than you have, you know." he said quietly.

His words struck Crane cold and his brush went off tangent ever so slightly. Years of honing his reflexes and muscle movements allowed him to continue painting as if nothing had happened.

"Oh? I've been on more missions with her than you have. I'm always flying _above_ her, watching over her. So I think this would be a fairly accurate rendition don't you think?" the Crane master snapped, while gesturing at the watercolor piece with his brush. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like hitting his head on a wall.

Mantis looked surprised and guilty as well, remembering his earlier comment. He had not meant to pull rank or experience like that, especially not to his comrade, his brother in arms.

A few seconds of silence ensued as neither insect nor bird moved a muscle. The light sound of the brush scraping against the rice paper stopped as well.

Crane broke the silence first by sighing and setting his brush down.

"So, how long have you…"

The insect hesitated a bit before answering. He sighed resignedly.

"A few years after you became a student here, I guess. I guess I kept telling myself that I was just biding my time before I told her but then I realized that you too….you know….." he trailed off as Crane nodded.

"Man, this _blows_."

The insect's eyes widened at the sudden crude expression from his normally reserved comrade. Crane looked absolutely shocked at himself as well. Mantis began chuckling which shortly became full-fledged guffawing.

"You _said it_!"he said between chuckles, "We've faced entire armies and most recently, one of the _greatest_ fighters in our generation and we can't even tell a girl we _dig_ her!"

Crane smiled and joined in the laughing, albeit in a quieter manner.

* * *

Viper creased her brow as she heard whispers from behind. She set down the pot of tea she was preparing and stared quizzically at both the masters seated at the dinner table behind her. The two had remained in the mess hall long after the others had left.

Both Crane and Mantis sat quietly, staring up at the ceiling, looking innocent.

"What?" she asked them slowly.

"_What_?" Mantis asked, redirecting her question back at her.

Viper opened her mouth to say something and decided it wasn't worth it. She continued to add some herbs to the tea. Behind her, the two resumed their quiet murmuring.

"Oh, the wavy lines go both above _and_ under…"

END

* * *

A/N: Liked it? Hated it? Tell me in a constructive way! I've got a bunch of one-shot planned for this fandom and I want to know how I did on my first one! For those who didn't get it, Mantis and Crane were talking about Viper's tattoo. My sister actually made that observation. I find it to be particularly awesome and badass that Viper is inked up :D


	2. Pushups

_A/N: I really don't know how this one came to be. Honest! I was just listening to my Tenacious D CD and was discussing with my brother and sister how Jack Black curses like a sailor in some of his movies and, in particular, in his band Tenacious D, but can still convincingly play kid-friendly, though not necessarily squeaky clean roles. This one just kinda wrote itself!_

_Crriicckk._

_Crrrrickcriiick._

The sound of chirping crickets filled the otherwise desolate landscape of the famous Jade Palace. It was a sliver of time, between night and day, but not quite dawn yet.

Tigress watched valiantly from her perch on the green shingled roof, her feline eyes roaming the darkness. She had eaten a light dinner and slept early, all so she could be ready for tonight. Her honed senses had been exceptionally prepared, she was ready for anything.

"What are you doing here?"

Except that. Tigress managed to suppress the small shriek that had formed in her throat, and quickly whirled around to face the inquiring eyes of the only other female in the premises.

"Viper! Er…good evening." She smiled as innocently as she could, and would have whistled innocently as well, if she didn't fear her cover being blown.

"Yeah, nice night. _WHAT are you doing here?_" Viper said, raising an eyebrow as she slithered closer to her friend.

"_Sshhhh!_ He might hear you…." Tigress said, gesturing to keep quiet and immediately turning back to her surveillance, tail twitching side to side.

"Who might hear me?" Viper took her place beside Tigress, surveying the zigzag trail that lead to the front gates of the Jade Palace.

"Po." The feline said, coldness seeping into her voice.

"Po? You're kidding right?! It's the middle of the night! What would he be doing here at this hour?" The serpent said incredulously, her voice raising in pitch, along with her disbelief and frustration. Her own observation about the ungodly hour reminded her that she should be sleeping right now.

Damn cat wasn't as stealthy as she thought she was; well, actually that wasn't true. She really was _quite_ stealthy. She just happened to land right on the roof of Viper's room.

"He's up to something. I _know_ it." Tigress whispered, her eyes never leaving the area. Behind her, Viper groaned, knowing what this was all about.

* * *

It had been a few months after defeating Tai Lung when Master Shifu had decided that Po would be learning the Scrolls of Kung Fu. It had gone generally well, with the affable panda learning quickly, helped by his still enormous appetite and zeal.

The Five, still feeling the sting of guilt for basically 'hazing' the guy, offered their help in mastering the scrolls. Po was more than glad to be tutored by his heroes and giddily absorbed their advice like a giant sponge.

Crane would help in the scrolls which dealt with _Ba Gua_ and _T'ai Chi_, his attitude and fighting style being more suited to such. Mantis offered his help on _Qi Gong_, having relied on it to become a fearsome fighter despite his size. Some still cringed at the memory of finding Mantis teaching Po to bend spears with his neck. Needless to say, Shifu was _not_ happy.

For the scrolls on grappling and ground fighting, Viper was the one that Po came to for advice. Despite some initial difficulties with flexibility, Po had learned to be quite an effective grappler, using his girth and weight to trap opponents. Despite being sat upon during one or two of their sparring sessions, Viper couldn't have been prouder.

Monkey's expertise was called upon in teaching the panda the art of weaponry. A warrior must respect the weapon and treat it as an extension of his own body to become an effective fighter. Of course, both the simian and the bear had a tendency to procrastinate, so Shifu was forever reminding them to complete their tasks for the day.

Tigress and Shifu taught Po in _Sanda_ fighting, survival techniques and the philosophy of kung fu. It was these three that were used most often during battles. Sanda was a relatively stripped down style which relied more on instinct than intellect. To use the style effectively, one's body must become a machine, an engine of destruction.

The warrior must not be tense but ready. Not thinking yet not dreaming, ready for whatever may come. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and face the consequences of his own doing. And when the time comes, it is instinct that takes over; when an enemy expands, the warrior contracts. Should the _enemy_ contract, the warrior _expands_. And when the moment comes, the warrior does not hit. "It" hits all by itself.

Po had taken it to heart and wept openly, despite repeated orders by Shifu _not_ to cry. Maybe the bear just had a soft spot for heartfelt speeches.

For survival training, Shifu would take Po on regular nature hikes. "Nature hikes" being defined as '_leaving Po overnight in the forest with nothing but a knife'_. After leaving him the first night, Shifu had been surprised to find Po the next day gorging on crab dumplings and _bochi_. He was furious to find out that the panda had encountered some merchants traveling and traded in his knife for the food.

And so it went, with Po learning at such a quick rate that he had mastered nearly fifty of the scrolls over a period of two months. He would come to each of the Five for advice on how to learn a particular technique. Po would at first ask for an opinion from whomever he would happen to find at the time, but as time went on, he decided it would be better to ask one particular Master for any one particular scroll. This decision came after he had asked both Mantis and Monkey, who happened to be training at the same time, about the intricacies of the One-inch Punch.

Both masters had understandably varied opinions. The simian was not impressed with the technique and felt that it was impossible to apply in a real situation. He preferred a series of lightning quick strikes, performed en masse until the enemy falls. Mantis, on the other hand, disagreed vehemently and claimed that the technique was an indispensable tool for any warrior to have. The two argued, long after Po had left and decided to ask Crane instead. The denizens of the Palace were quite surprised to find that the following day, several logs had been reduced to splinters. Monkey had curiously bandaged both hands and Mantis worked on his kicks all day, avoiding using his forelegs.

Without a doubt, it was Tigress who was the most demanding tutor. She was a slave driver whose idea of a warm-up was ten laps around the Valley of Peace and one hundred push-ups. Despite this, Po was most fond of her teaching style. Certainly not because it was easy; he would come back from a session with her, bloodied ,sweaty and exhausted. No, it was because out of all the Masters, it was Tigress who was most steadfast in her belief that he could master any technique.

_"You are the Dragon Warrior. You alone have opened the Dragon Scroll and know the secret to limitless power. Now, what did you see in that Scroll?_", she would ask him sternly before helping him up. She would always leave it unanswered but Po would answer her question by doing twice as many push-ups and thrice as many sit-ups. It was Master Tigress' faith in him that restored his faith in himself.

The routine continued up until a month ago when Po had began learning a new scroll. He was incredibly secretive about it, refusing to let anyone help him. Shifu himself decided to stay out of it after taking one look at the scroll. He did however grant the panda permission to practice its contents. Despite this, nobody ever actually saw Po training. He would practice and spar with the Five but he did nothing out of the ordinary. He would however, wake up the next day, lethargic and sluggish, a sure sign of late night excursions.

The Five had all tried to offer their help, but Po would stutter out an excuse, hide the scroll and lock himself in his room until dinner. He would come out, pretending nothing had happened, which of course only furthered their suspicions.

* * *

Viper glared at her feline friend. She was sure this cat was going to be killed by her curiosity.

"Can't you just let it go? I mean if Po's becoming more independent shouldn't we encourage him?" she said, praying that Tigress would agree.

"Not a _chance_. We've been training him for months now and he suddenly decides to stop? No warning, no '_hey, thanks for your help, I can handle it from now on_' ?" Tigress said, her paws turned upwards for emphasis.

Viper flicked her tongue, and seemed to think about that for a while. She gave a grin.

"You're _lyiiiing…_."

"I am _NOT_! I-I _mean_…um…what makes you say that?" Tigress stammered, straightening her back in a show of integrity and truthfulness. She prayed for Viper to let it go.

"_Puh-lease!_ You always get that tiny little bit of saliva on the side of your mouth when you're curious about something." Viper said, still with a grin.

Unable to stop herself, the female tiger immediately went to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. Feeling not even the slightest bit of moisture, she glared at her companion who was fighting not to burst out laughing.

Tigress let out a quiet growl, knowing she'd been had. Viper stopped snickering after a couple of minutes.

"Hehehehe……calm down, no harm done! Now, what say we go back--hey, that's Po!"

Both females immediately stopped talking and saw the panda quietly tip toe his way to the trail, clutching what looked like a short tube.

"_That's it!_ That's the scroll he doesn't want to show us!" Tigress said, her eyes glinting in against the cobalt backdrop of the sky. Viper cursed herself for re-igniting that cat's determination.

"Wonder what's so special about it?" Viper asked, squinting in the darkness.

From what they could see, Po was reading from the scroll, tracing one finger over the text.

"Ok, let's see here….", said the panda, his voice resonating over the mountainous area.

Tigress and Viper waited with baited breath as they witnessed the scene in front of them.

Po had lowered himself to the ground and was now lying on his belly.

"What…is he DOING? He came all the way down here so he could _sleep on dirt_?" Tigress hissed. This was what the _big fuss_ was about?

"Guess so. Oh well, since Po's sleeping we should also--"

"No, he's _awake_! Look at his face!"

Viper squinted again and found, to her surprise, that Po was staring straight ahead, a look of intense concentration on his round face.

Both females watched as Po, on his belly, laid on the ground for what seemed like an hour. After the crickets themselves had stopped chirping, Tigress had had enough.

"That is _IT_! I'm getting to the bottom of this right now!"

Before Viper could stop her, she leapt from the rooftop and landed in front of the panda who screamed. Before he could alert the entire Palace, Viper landed swiftly on his snout and coiled herself around it, muffling the noise.

"**MPPPRGHHH!** "

Viper looked at the panda's bright green eyes, surprised at the utter horror she found in them.

"Po, it's _okay_!" she whispered soothingly at the bear, who oddly enough remained lying on his belly. He calmed down somewhat and stopped his muffled screaming. The snake slowly uncoiled herself and released Po's snout. He let out a gasp and coughed. He gave a nervous smile.

"O-oh Master Tigress it's you! I-I mean….of course it's you! Er, nice night for a stroll right? What're you and Master Viper doing here?" said Po, beads of sweat forming around his brow. His face had blanched and pure terror was etched into his features.

"Like you said, just out for a stroll. What about _you_?" Tigress said, her voice eerily calm and nonchalant. She sat down in a Lotus position in front of Po who paled.

"Oh…y-you k-know…." the panda was stuttering horribly now.

"No, I _don't_ know. What are you up to Po?" said Tigress, looking for any indication where Po must have hidden the scroll.

"Me? What am I…..n-nothing! _Nothing's UP!_" said Po, who looked even more horrified after he had said those words.

Tigress frowned and continued to search for the scroll. She grinned triumphantly as she pulled an ornately designed canister from beneath the panda's huge neck.

"**_No!_**" Po yelled.

Tigress felt a rush of excitement until she caught herself. She had been about to unseal the scroll and read its contents.

This….this was _wrong_. She had no right to invade Po's privacy like this. She had acted like a _spoiled child_. The shame that coursed through her body made her feel sick and she gently laid down the scroll in front of the panda's prone form.

"Master _Panda_," , she said, using the formal term she had first bestowed upon him after his triumphant victory, "I'm—I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me!" She bowed low to the ground, her face still burning with embarrassment and anger at herself.

Viper bowed as well, feeling like an accomplice.

Po was silent for a short while, seemingly debating whether to forgive them or not. He gave a short laugh as he finally lifted himself of the ground, dusting his fur.

"Nah don't sweat it guys. It's all cool. It's just…well..._erm_..." he began fidgeting and twiddling his fingers as held the scroll. Tigress and Viper took this as a sign to finally look at their friend in the eyes. He was still looking very uncomfortable.

The panda took a deep breath and unrolled the scroll.

"Okay you guys….I'm…gonna show you the scroll. But…you gotta promise not to _hurt_ me or _hit_ me or _scream_ or anything like that….okay?" he said quickly unrolling the scroll and laying it out for the two female masters to see.

Despite some hesitation, Tigress eyes roamed over the paper. After a moment of reading she stared incredulously up at the still fidgeting panda.

"_Push-ups_." She stated, her voice neutral. The panda gave a single, hesitant nod.

"That's _it_?! All this fuss, all this secrecy….for pushups?!" Tigress was confused and very, _very_, irritated. She had been reduced to _stalking_ and almost invaded Po's privacy over _a_ _scroll that taught push-ups_! She let a small snarl escape her throat which immediately put Po on high alert as he prepared to run. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat.

"It's _okay_ Po." She said finally, feeling like an idiot. _Seriously_, push-ups? If Po wanted to waste his time on this instead of actual battle techniques, it was his business.

"Wow…_really_? You're okay with this? You don't think I'm a…._pervert_ or anything?" He said, still very red in the face.

"Yes, really. Why would I think you're a pervert? I mean, pushups are no big deal. Learning how to do pushups with your tail might not be too useful in your case though."

"Tigress…." Viper, who had not spoken since reading the contents of the scroll, gently prodded her friend's shoulder. Tigress continued to talk to Po.

"Monkey learned how to do pushups with his tail too, Po."

"Tigress…"

"I'm not as good as Monkey, but I know a thing or two about tail pushups. Why didn't you ask for help?" Tigress continued, not noticing Viper's growing paler and paler as she talked.

"**TIGRESS!**" the serpent finally yelled.

"What IS it, Viper?" Tigress said, a tad irritated. Jeez, Viper usually didn't butt in to conversa--

"The scroll….that's _NOT his tail_.", said Viper, who was feeling as though her face might explode from the blood that had rushed to it. Shaking, she pointed a particular illustration.

"Not his _tail_?" said Tigress as she took the scroll from the ground and read the heading:

**MASTER HOI CHUEN'S PUSH-UPS OF VIRILITY AND POWER**

Tigress' mind went over the information.

_Pushups._

_Virility and Power._

_Master Hoi Chuen, one of the greatest practitioners of kung fu in recorded history. The old raccoon was famous for his ferocity in battle and infamous for his lust for young and nubile women that made him known as the Perverted Sage._

_NOT his tail._

Po, with speed no creature of size should possess, fled to town, broke into his own home and hid under his bed to escape the wrath of one very angry and very embarrassed Master Tigress.

* * *

Neither female talked on their way back to their dorms. Viper quietly bid goodnight as she slithered back to her quarters.

Tigress' mind, still turning incessantly was now going through the information in the scroll.

Not his tail. _NOT his tail_. **_NOT HIS TAIL!_**

Oh _gods_! She covered her flaming face with her paws, as she tried to forget one particularly graphic illustration depicting how to pull a rickshaw, filled with women, of course, with….with….

…._NOT your tail_.

"Stupid _scroll_….stupid _panda_…." She muttered, banging her head against a wall.

Another disturbing thought entered her mind; _Tai Lung had mastered all one thousand scrolls, hadn't he?_

HADN"T HE?!

She resumed banging her head against the wall.

"Stupid Tigress….stupid, stupid, STUPID Tigress….."

END

_A/N: Yep, I've got a dirty mind, but you can blame Jack Black for that. For those of you don't get it, I got this idea off Tenacious D's first album. It's a skit on the CD, I believe it's the twelfth track on there. I hurt myself laughing when I first heard it :D_


	3. Drunken Sparring Session

_A/N: Hey guys, another story here in my one-shot series! This might be my last one for a while since I'll be going back to having my soul sucked out by med school in a few days. I did a bit of researching for this fic, after having read the amazing works of __Luna Goldsun,__ who, by the way, is my idol in this fandom. Seriously, her stories are awesome. So yeah, I'm trying to take after her. Some Chinese terms are present here so it kinda educational, I guess? Also, this one is a deviation from my usual shtick which is mostly comedy/romance, so if it's kinda sloppy and/or amateurish, well, you can't say I didn't warn you ;p Eherm, anyways, enjoy the fic guys!_

"_Kiyah_! Why…why…coul—**hic**--couldn't…you—hic--be proud of me?!"

Shifu ducked as an erratic punch followed by a leg sweep came from his sparring partner and student, Tigress. The diminutive master's wiry haired brows came together in a frown.

Under normal circumstances, his pupil was not very talkative, especially during a sparring session. She did her activities in stoic silence, rarely showing emotion. In battle, she was much the same, her usual stony demeanor laced with fury and, as much as it concerned him, bloodlust.

"You…were….alwaysh…ssshooo….fucking—hic--demon—_demani_—_fucking_ demanding!", she continued, her usually fiery eyes unfocused and glazed. Shifu's ears twitched at the unusually crude language. The back of his neck prickled with heat and his stomach felt like it wanted to escape through his mouth.

_**All I ever did, I did to make you proud!**_

The red panda was further surprised by the…._tears_? That was improbable (yes, nothing is impossible, as Master Oogway was so fond of saying), highly unusual and uncharacteristic.

And furthermore......it was **impossible!** He had seen Tigress sew her own wounds shut without so much as flinching, but now....

Crying? Without the influence of mind-numbing pain?

Tigress made no attempt to neither hide nor wipe her eyes. She sniffled as she wobbled on her feet, trying to maintain a steady base as was required by her signature Tiger style kung-fu.

The problem was that, being inebriated, she could no longer do this and was instead swaying slightly on the balls of her feet. Her hands were formed into loose fists, one held in front of the other.

Shifu mentally berated himself for letting her talk him into teaching her Drunken Boxing. This was their first training session and already, this was looking like a bad idea.

* * *

Despite his desire to bridge the gaps between his students and himself, the greatest kung-fu master in all of China was finding it much easier said than done. He had spent so much time being 'mean, old Master Shifu who never smiled' that he found his attempts at trying to connect with his students awkward and unproductive, with the exception of Po.

"They do want to get to know you Master, the real you. It's just that they, you know, look up to you and are kinda _afraid _of you." said the giant panda, when Shifu, swallowing his pride, asked him for advice. "I think it's up to you to really actively try to reconnect with them."

He had at first dismissed the notion as nonsense, that he _WAS_ trying his best and that his students were just being stubborn, as always. Despite this initial incredulous stance, the master of the Furious Five re-doubled his efforts to reconnect and reconcile with his students; to show them that, _yes_, he did give a damn about them.

Viper and Crane were initially surprised and even a little wary at the change in demeanor.

No, Shifu told them, he wasn't dying or possessed. Or sick or smoking opium. More awkward questioning and wary glances later, the two gradually began to open up to him.

_How_ could he have missed this? Shifu now knew that Crane was an unofficial peacemaker between his other students, diffusing tiffs and scuffles while he was away.

Gods, he was foolish to think that their coordination and cooperation in the battlefield meant similar demeanor when it came to simply _living_ with each other!

Painting, he learned, was the waterfowl's way of relieving stress. While it might have been not as amusing in retrospect, he found it oddly hilarious how Crane would speak in clipped tones when talking about '_a friend who likes a girl_.'

"It's just that—well---he really likes this amazing, _beautiful_ girl---but he—theoretically, of course—can't tell her because he's afraid it would damage our---_their_, I said their, didn't I? Er…friendship…"

Never in his dreams would Shifu have thought he would be giving his students advice on romantic relationships.

Fastest way to kill an enemy? Cut off circulation to the brain by cutting or obstructing an artery.

Most effective weapon for decapitation? The Flying Guillotine, of course, but he preferred the broadsword.

How to get a date with a girl you like?

…

…

…

…

Shifu was starting to suspect arranged marriages were a way of getting some men to actually get hitched and have kids in the first place.

For what it was worth, he did tell Crane to suck it up and try to see if Viper was ready for a relationship, leaving no room for denial or protests on the bird's part. Surprisingly, Crane had gained a determined glint in his eye and thanked him with a smile.

As for his other pupils, Shifu had learned of Viper's background as a tumbler and contortionist, prior to her being a student at the Palace. She turned red as she told him that she still practiced some old routines whenever she had free time. Her dream, she told him after some brief hesitation, had been to perform for the Emperor.

"I never got around to it. After Mama died, I found that gymnastics for anyone other than the Emperor or his family didn't exactly pay enough to feed seven brothers and sisters." Viper reminisced a bit sadly. It was then that Shifu, feeling his heartbeat quite prominently for some reason, offered to be an audience to her routine.

He was quite surprised at her skill with a ribbon and, uncharacteristically, voiced his opinion. Yes, he thought it was an exemplary show of agility and grace and that, unfortunately, it was the Emperor's loss.

"_Really?!_ You think I was good? Er…uh…thanks! I—I mean, _thank you, _Master Shifu!" said a flustered Viper, quite bewildered at this old critter, being supportive and—_gasp_—even giving out praise!

Food and medicinal herbs were topics he and Monkey bonded with. The primate had a love of cooking, matched only by Po, and loved to drop by the Valley and sample some of the cuisine in the local restaurants. Shifu, during a conversation about _ma-po tofu,_ had asked Monkey where one would go for the best.

"Well, there's this restaurant in the Middle District. I've been there several times already actually Master. The chef is from _Szechuan_ and he makes some of the spiciest ma-po tofu this side of China!" Monkey had said with relish, while making a fresh batch of his almond cookies.

The simian was flabbergasted when the usually crotchety and penny-pinching Master asked him to bring him there sometime. His jaw promptly hit the ground when the red panda offered to take all six of his students there and treat them all to dinner.

"_Wow_….er…thank you for your generosity, Master Shifu!" he said after regaining the ability to speak.

Acupuncture, he learned from Mantis, was an art that was usually passed down from generation to generation. The insect, apparently, had left his village wanting to escape from a strict household that expected him to take over the business and marry a girl chosen by his family. After learning the basics of acupuncture, he left his home and decided to find his fortune elsewhere, before finally ending up at the Valley of Peace.

"So yeah, my Dad was pretty much out for my blood, last I heard. I'm just hoping he's disowned me by now, so he'll stop looking." Mantis said with feigned indifference but Shifu saw behind the false bravado. Indeed, he had learned that it was Mantis' habit to wears layers of machismo and boorishness to hide his more sensitive side. Sternly, he had said on no uncertain terms that Mantis was free to stay as long as he pleased in the Jade Palace and that should his family come to look for him, Shifu, as well as the rest of the denizens of the Palace would face them together.

"Th—thank you…Master Shifu…I…_I_..got _something in my eye_…." Mantis sniffled before turning away and claiming he had to 'go train'.

It had been wonderful. Shifu was amazed at the spectrum of personalities, hiding right underneath his nose!

Well, _no_, not hiding. His students were always there being themselves, their idiosyncrasies and imperfections, their strengths and their dreams, somehow surviving through the years of harsh training and battles with Huns and other barbarian armies.

_He_ was the one who was hiding.

Hiding his heart and his feelings, fearing that them being broken again was inevitable.

So he buried his heart and surprisingly, he felt no sadness.

Or happiness. To his horror, his reunion with Tai Lung had proved that while feelings joy had been effectively numbed, sadness it seemed, could go deeper and colder than even the lowest point of the _Yang Tze_.

His newfound bonds with his students were like a spider web, dangled from the heavens to help him escape from his personal abyss. Slowly and carefully, he was beginning to see the light.

* * *

It had been about five months and despite numerous attempts from Shifu and whispers from the others that, yes, Master Shifu had changed, Tigress remained cold and unflinchingly formal during his conversations with her. She would remain respectful and would only speak when spoken to but other than that, she would remain distant.

"Yes Master, it went _very well_. Is that all?" she would answer him when he asked her about her training.

Shifu, deflated, would answer yes. They would bow to each other and Tigress would turn away….

….away from him. His long dormant heart was beginning to break in a familiar but all too different way. Is this how he had made his students feel all those years?

Shifu, remembering Po's advice and how it had worked on his other pupils, continued to try to bond with his most temperamental student to no avail. Even though he had started eating meals with them, she would stay silent throughout the entire meal, excuse herself early and would head to bed.

The aged master was at the end of his rope when he came up with a brilliant idea.

Tigress, out of all his students, seemed to genuinely _enjoy_ training the most, didn't she?

He assumed he knew that much of course, ashamed of himself for not even knowing something as basic as her favorite color.

With this newfound information, he offered to teach her a new style.

"Not to be rude, but is there a_ reason_ for this Master Shifu? Is my current fighting ability not _effective_ enough?" she had said, keeping her voice as even as the surface of a finely tempered sword.

The red panda, growing ever more observant of his student's habits and idiosyncrasies, caught the steel behind her words. He said no, her fighting ability had nothing to do with it, as she was still one of the best fighters within a thousand miles in every direction. It was simply to expand her horizons and become a more balanced fighter.

And so, Shifu trained her in different styles, during the weekends; fighting styles developed over the years and recorded in the Thousand Scrolls.

Plum Blossom Fist.

Twelve Kicks of Dao.

Iron Fist. Five Point Death Punch.

Despite Shifu taking a decidedly more relaxed method, she would continue to push her self to the point of near death.

She learned them all in silence, never showing emotion other than occasional frustration.

At least, she tried. Whenever she would execute a move perfectly, Shifu, in his newfound state of peace and happiness, would compliment her.

The tiger's amber eyes would show the tiniest bit of spark, a glow that would brighten her usual stony features momentarily. As fast as it had appeared though, it would vanish and her cold features were all that remained. Sometimes, a vaguely irritated look would flash on her face, akin to spitting out a particularly horrid tasting medicinal herb.

Shifu began to lose hope of ever reconciling with Tigress again. He had pushed her the hardest amongst the Five, perhaps still holding on to the hope that he would train the true Dragon Warrior.

What a mistake that had been.

He had shut his heart out to his students and now, this particular pupil of his might have shut her heart out to him and the entire world.

While there were still a few hundred Scrolls, they would run out eventually. As a Master, it would be perfectly acceptable to simply stop and accept that fact that not all his students would be close to him.

One day, all hope nearly lost, he had pulled out a scroll for _Zuì Quán_, Drunken Boxing. He had intended to teach her _Biān_ forms, and had carried the steel whips with him to the Archives.

He was surprised when he saw the Drunken Boxing scrolls amongst the _shéng biāo_ and _kuantao_ scrolls. It certainly was odd for Zeng, meticulous to a fault, to commit such an elementary mistake.

Perhaps it was an accident? Shifu smiled as he remembered an all too familiar adage about accidents.

Drunken Boxing it was then.

* * *

_It's all for a purpose._ Shifu reminded himself, dodging another swipe from Tigress who continued rambling through tears.

So far, it had been a disaster. He had learned only one thing so far about his female student; she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

She hadn't even finished the entire cup of _shaojiu_ and here she was fighting perfectly in a style that required the user to be perfectly intoxicated.

"I-I…_hic_—fo—_HIC_!—fought—_armiesh_ for you! All you'd have tah do iz shnap your fingersh and I'd do i'!" she tried to emphasize this by snapping her fingers but found that no sound was produced.

"Hmmm, thatsh harder than it looksh…."

Shifu watched in silence as the feline tried for several minutes to produce a finger snap.

**SNAP. **

**SNAP-snap-snap.**

Tigress giggled giddily as she held up her thumb and forefinger it front of the bewildered red panda.

**SNAP.**

"_Hellz_ yeah! I di' it! You proudda me?" she crowed, grinning like a child showing her parents a particularly impressive drawing.

Shifu opened his mouth to respond but was immediately cut off by a scoff from Tigress as she plopped down on the ground, looking forlorn.

"Of coursh—_hic_—not. You weren't proud of me when I completed my first _taolu_ even tho' I shlaved over that form! You weren't proud of me when I mastered my style! You weren't proud of me when me an' the guys won our firs' battle!" she said, her voice raising in volume.

The red panda's ears were no longer in their upright position; instead, with each of Tigress' words, they got lower and lower until they looked like they were about to fall off his head.

"The guysh…they shaid….you're differen' now. But I don't believe it. _Uh-uh_." Tigress shook her head for emphasis, licking her lips, feeling parched.

Shifu swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and ventured further. This was his chance to find out why she was so unreceptive of his attempts to reconcile.

"Why don't you believe it Tigress?"

"Cosh…well….I guess coz it'll _hurt_ like HELL when I find out it's _not real_." she stated matter-of-factly. "T's jus'…I tried sho har' fer yearsh to be a good shtudent, to be a good daughter. But it wasn't ever enough…I-I just wanted to m-make you _proud_!" she said, her voice beginning to crack again.

Shifu was filled with shame. It was his duty as a master to lead students to the path of enlightenment and wisdom.

His student, following his example, had shut out her heart. She had followed him into the abyss.

_**All I ever did, I did to make you proud!**_

In a rush of emotion, he threw his small arms around his student in a hug, feeling the warm tears soaking through his tunic.

"I've always been proud of you, as a master to a student and a father to a daughter. _Please_ believe that. It was my wretched mistake to have never shown it to you. It's not too late, I hope, to prove that for every perfect punch, every mastered technique, every battle you've ever won, every time you and the others continue to be the great masters you are, I have a smile in my heart."

Shifu felt moisture coming from his own eyes but made no attempt to hide them. It had taken months and years before that, but he had finally reconciled with his students. _All_ of them.

Against her master's tunic, Tigress' face was a mixture of shock and awe. After a few seconds, her eyes crinkled as more tears flowed. Despite this, she felt as light as a cloud, all the weight of the years lifting off her shoulders. She, at last, had found _her_ peace.

The aged master held his inebriated student as felt more tears soak through his tunic. Gods, Tigress certainly could cry a _bucket_! The tears were flowing almost as though she had opened a flood gate! His ears twitched as he noticed the absence of sobbing or indeed, any kind of noise from his student. Carefully, he released his arms and laid her on the ground to inspect himself.

Well, that was odd. Tears, as far as he knew, were clear and colorless and they certainly did not contain what looked to be pieces of noodles and….carrots?

Certainly, tear drops did not come out from one's mouth did they? So why, pray tell, was there a tell-tale piece of noodle and a small amount of the vile-smelling fluid dribbling from his now sleeping student's chin?

Shifu took a deep breath and sighed to the heavens. Tigress had just puked on him.

* * *

Tigress' eyes darted open as she awoke in her room, a small candle giving out a dim light. Her head was pounding horribly and her joints aching almost as if she had fallen off a cliff.

What a horrible nightmare.

Drunken Boxing. She was learning new techniques from Master Shifu who lately was being, well, kinda _weird_ with the being nice and the complimenting.....and then….

Oh, _shit. _Oh, _FUCKING DAMN IT ALL!_

"I believe that having you drink _centuries_ old rice wine might not have been the best idea." a familiar voice said from the head of her mattress. She strained to lie on her side and get a good look. She was greeted by the wry face of a familiar red panda she had been training under and trying to make proud her whole life. He was wringing out a towel over a basin full of steaming water.

"Master Shifu…what happened?" she hissed, finding it painful to even talk.

"You don't remember?" he asked quietly. Tigress groaned and rubbed her temples.

Ancestors, how she _wished_ she didn't! The entirety of the humiliating event began to flood her head. She remembered bawling like a child and exposing the deepest crevices of her mind all too well.

She groaned and rolled on her back as she put an arm over her eyes. To her surprise, Shifu just gave a quiet chuckle.

"Don't worry. This one stays between us." said Shifu, kneeling beside her mattress and putting the moist towel on her forehead.

"Thank you." she said, genuinely grateful both for the secrecy and the warm towel relieving her headache. Mustering her courage, she opened her eyes to look at the old red panda.

She noticed a familiar red vest folded neatly beside him. Looking down at herself, she was mortified to find that she was wearing a light blue _qipao_. It was made of a much lighter material than normal as it was intended to be worn during sleep. She had long forgotten she even owned this particular item of clothing, having received it for her birthday from Crane, Mantis and Monkey, of all people.

The red panda chuckled gently at her embarrassment.

"Not to worry. Nothing I haven't seen before." he said, keeping his voice neutral to prevent further embarrassing his student. She gave him a small nod, the blush still present on her face.

Tigress closed her eyes, sighing as she prepared for sleep. She was surprised to feel a slight tickling sensation on her forehead. Opening her eyes, her surprise shot up a couple of notches, having found out that the tickling sensation was Master Shifu kissing her gently on the forehead.

The feline master felt her heart swell with emotion. A kiss goodnight! She haven't had one of those since….well, she's _never_ had one of those!

"Goodnight, Mei Yun. Sleep well." said Shifu, sliding the rice paper door shut.

After a minute of dumbfounded silence, Tigress drifted off to replay her sparring session. Sure, it involved her crying like a little girl and eventually puking on Master Shifu. But in her wonderful world of dreams, she could replay her favorite part over and over.

He was proud of her.

Tigress went on to have her most restful sleep in years.

END

_A/N pt2: Wow, this one was long! But I'm hoping you'll let me know how it turned by using that li'l ol' 'Review' button down there :) Pretty please guys? Reviews are like nachos; can't have enough of 'em and they taste great with lots of salsa and beef :D Criticism is accepted as long as it is constructive and I'll even take story ideas! I have a few of my own still in storage but I'd love to hear from you guys!_


	4. Mister, I'll Make A Man Out Of You

_A/N: So, here's another chapter for you guys! Many, many thanks to everyone who reviewed and faved my story series here. Med school's hell; they just don't quit with the exams and the projects. If it ain't too much trouble, please pray that I do well in my upcoming quizzes XD Anyways, this one came to me after watching the ever funny Scrubs. I love that show, since my humor in real life is actually a lot like the humor in that show (really weird and sometimes juvenile). Also, you may find a little factoid in this story that goes against what was stated in Secrets of The Furious Five. Don't worry, I have a story on the way to explain that one ____ So again, enjoy everyone!_

Master Viper wondered idly, as she surveyed the destroyed Training Hall, if men were _always_ this confusing or if they took breaks every now and then. Granted, living on top of a mountain, she had limited contact with the opposite gender in general but she knew weirdness when she saw it. These males in particular, only got more confusing the longer she lived with them.

Said males of the Jade Palace, excluding Shifu, had just gotten back from an adventure from a remote village from the Eastern regions, and were acting quite a bit weirder than normal. It was as Tigress had termed, a "testosterone overflow".

Mantis and Monkey, who were usually inseparable, would now spend what seemed to be a precisely scheduled and measured time apart. Furthermore, these 'alone-times' as the insect had called it, seemed to happen every time the two would exchange a high five or a "chest-bump". Admittedly, while she had voiced her distaste for savage feats of machismo, it felt a bit off to see those two, who were as close as brothers, act skittish and distant towards each other; they would do the aforementioned chest thumping, laugh a bit, fall silent and quickly avoid each other for the entire day. Mantis had even opted to now simply walk beside the simian, instead of taking his usual perch on his larger friend's shoulder.

That should have been weird enough. But then she started noticing changes in Po as well. The usually jovial bear would now spend much of his time strength training, using the boulders found around the mountain as weights. Once again, this would usually happen after some sort of exchange with the other men of the house, be it a high-five or a few seconds of awkward silence. After a few moments in his room, he would walk around the Palace with his chest puffed out, walking with a swagger. He had garnered some strange looks from the some of the servants because of this.

"You talkin' to me? Are _you,_ talkin' to me? There ain't nobody else around here, you _must_ be talkin' to me!" Po had said in an artificially gravely voice when she caught him in the Training Hall, sparring with the ever faithful Adversary.

He was in the midst of "Ya feelin' lucky? _Punk?_" when Viper had decided to probe for answers. As was her serpentine nature, she was confident in her ability to weasel….ahem, _extract_ information from other people.

"Hey Po." she had said, slithering beside the panda, who was giving the inflatable dummy a rapid flurry of punches.

The bear stopped his vicious attack and his bright green eyes crinkled as a wide grin formed on his lips. He waved a large paw at Viper.

"Hi, Master Viper! Er…uh…." he began brightly before suddenly stifling his smile.

Viper's eyebrows rose a mile as she noticed an immediate change in his behavior. The usual slouched posture gave way to a straightened spine and puffed out chest. He sucked in his massive gut in addition to this. The bright and cheerful voice was suddenly lowered a few octaves and the merry eyes transformed into (what he thought was) an intense and smoldering look.

"Hey. What is it I can do for you, _lady friend_?" the panda said, making sure to let each word linger, as if to increase their meaning.

Viper let out a nervous high pitched laugh before quickly slithering away, making a quick excuse about having to use the bathroom.

That was beyond frightening. Dammit, did a Y-chromosome instill innate peculiarities at birth or were they developed over time? She needed help figuring this out and unfortunately, the only other female in the Palace was an emotionally crippled, sexually repressed _wreck_.

"How am _I_ supposed to know what's up with them? Now, do you think Master Shifu likes mint or ginger tea?" Tigress had said distractedly, when Viper tried asking for her help. The female tiger had been fretting about what to get Shifu, the one time—ONE TIME! — he had asked her to go shopping for him.

Viper groaned heavily as she remembered what a mistake it had been to ask her feline friend, who most likely still had some unresolved "Daddy" issues with her adoptive father.

She decided to ask around the Valley itself, knowing that gossip traveled fast. From what she could gather, the guys had gone to liberate a remote farming village from a pack of wolf bandits who were extorting the citizens out of their crops and earnings. The bandits, who had called themselves the Sons Of _Guān Yǔ_, after the great military general worshipped as a god in some parts, were lead by the fearsome Hào Lang. Those who had seen the white wolf had described him as nothing short of terrifying, leading his subordinates with an iron fist. Some stories had described him indiscriminately slaughtering both allies and enemies alike, mostly after they had displeased him in some way. Despite, or perhaps because of this cruelty, every one of his subordinates had plead their loyal service to him. Although most of them were known to be cruel as well, they dared not cross their leader, whose skill and viciousness in battle made even the most jaded of their ranks have nightmares. As such, Lang always got the biggest share of the gold they smuggled, the most select of the weapons they made, the most delicious of foods and naturally, the most beautiful women. One of his aliases was _Wáng__Fěi_, King of Bandits, a title decidedly well deserved.

In spite of it being a relatively recent battle, news of the defeat of the Sons of Guān Yǔ and their leader traveled fast and had soon reached the Valley of Peace itself.

Word was that Masters Monkey, Crane and Mantis, and the Dragon Warrior himself had somehow managed to infiltrate the base of the bandits' operations without a single drop of blood being spilled, initially at least. How this was made possible was unknown; no one from the village had a clear enough memory of the event and the Masters themselves were mysteriously tight-lipped about the entire affair. Even the Dragon Warrior, who usually was more than eager to regal anyone who would listen about vivid tales of his battles alongside the Five, was strangely quiet. As such, most of the information she could gather was based off hearsay and unfounded rumors.

Feeling discouraged, Viper returned to the Jade Palace. She had spent most of her life in the Palace trying to get used to the strange little behaviors some of her comrades exhibited from time to time but this…this was just _way_ too much strangeness, way too _fast_.

Of course, she had _one_ route left, and that was to ask _directly_ what had happened. That left only one option of course and that was to ask Crane; good ol' level-headed, _honest_ Crane.

The avian Master had been curiously hard to get a hold of these past few weeks and when she did find him, it surprised her to no end when he exhibited the same "macho" behavior as his other colleagues.

"Oh, hey Viper. Something…..I can…..do for you?" he had said normally enough, were it not for the fact that he was doing pushups with a large boulder on his back. Viper's mouth was hanging open the entire time, as she watched the spectacle.

Crane _hated_ strength training, though he was loathed to admit this in front of Master Shifu. He preferred to work on his agility and speed, preferring to dodge and defend rather than attack. Based on the _Wu Sing_ system, Crane took a decidedly more relaxed approach to training and to some extent, battles as well. This did not mean he was unfocused however; he simply allowed everything else to work for him. This was the philosophy of _Sung_ which was the quality of suppleness and ease of motion which accompanies proper movement in the internal martial arts. It is not to be confused with limpness, he made sure to point out when asked about it in the past, as Sung describes a quality of relaxed coordination of the entire body in movement.

"Eighty, eighty-one, eighty-two, eighty-three…"

What the bird was doing now was NOT Sung. He was in the throes of _Gong_, a practice or exercise used in Kung Fu to develop a skill or _power_. There were many kinds of gongs, both internal or _Nei Gong_ and external or _Wai Gong_, leading to many different kinds of skills or powers.

Viper's musings were interrupted by the loud _THUD_ of the boulder hitting the soil as Crane dislodged it from his back.

"One _hundred_! Hoo-haaaa! Who's the _man_?" Crane yelled after completing his workout, standing up and flexing both wings to show off his muscles.

In a flash, Viper coiled her sinewy body around his neck and hissed dangerously. The waterfowl's face went ashen underneath his feathers.

"Viper?! W-wha—" he stuttered, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat.

"No! No questions! You and those three other _boneheads_ meet me in the kitchen in five minutes! You hear me?! Do _NOT_ be late!" she yelled in a panic. The dangerously venomous fangs seemed to glow brighter and her eyes had taken a manic look.

Really, it was most unlike her to lash out like this, especially towards Crane. But she didn't have a choice! It was their fault, trapping her in what she had now termed the _Twilight Zone of Weird Male Behavior!_ It was a vast, testosterone fueled vortex and she wanted OUT now!

The males of the Jade Palace shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they watched Viper slither to and fro. They were gathered around the wooden dinner table while their female companion moved about. She would look like she wanted to say something, open her mouth, shake her head and continue pacing (at least, as close as she could to doing the action, having no legs). This continued for what seemed to be eternity until the serpent finally stopped slithering and took a place on the table.

"Okay. What in the _HELL_ happened in that village?" she grated out, glaring at the four suspiciously panicked faces. The four began yelling out at the same time.

"Nothing! Why, what've you heard?"

"I don't know WHAT your talking about!"

"Er….what village? You know, we've been in a lot of different villages…."

"…what was the question again?"

Viper squeezed her eyes shut as she drew a deep breath.

"QUIET!"

The guys stopped talking immediately. A few seconds of silence ticked by as the snake gauged their reactions.

Monkey was twiddling his thumbs. Mantis' eyes were darting around, unable to meet her gaze. Po just looked frightened and Crane looked like he had swallowed the boulder he was doing pushups with earlier.

"The_Shuǐ__ Dào _Village, North of Manchuria. You helped the townsfolk drive those bandits away."

She watched as Mantis stiffened visibly, having stopped picking at his sharp forelegs. Viper lowered her head so she could level her gaze with the tiny master.

"What happened?" she whispered, much calmer this time. The look of nervous panic never left Mantis' eyes.

"It….it was horrible….." he rasped out.

Viper's earlier irritation at the weird behavior began to ebb away at her comrade's voice. She felt a bit guilty for not factoring in the simple fact that the battle my have been too bloody and gruesome, even for seasoned masters. For something to affect even their toughest member so much, it must truly have been awful.

"We…_we_….had to….guh….." Mantis continued to choke out. "….do _Operation Waterlily_!"

Viper returned this confession with a blank look. She watched as a pained expression began to appear on Po's face as he relieved a particularly horrible excerpt from Operation Waterlily.

* * *

The panda's face paled horribly as he felt the scaly hand of the Komodo dragon grab a generous portion of his, ahem, _weapon trunk_. The _qipao_ he had been forced to wear was NOT helping matters since he couldn't so much as even slap the offending appendage away lest he tear the fabric. The gigantic lizard leered at the panda. The various wolves, weasels and boars were all grinning maliciously at their four latest acquisitions, courtesy of their host village. In exchange for releasing forty of their captives unharmed, they were given these women.

"Hmm…Lang doesn't really care much for the, ah, _healthier_ girls. I, on the other hand, love my meat and my women. Even better when they're such a perfect combination like you, darlin'." He said, licking his chops. Man, they really hit the _jackpot_ with this village!

Lots of rice, great wine and these girls….wow!

They all sounded a bit weird because the villagers said the four of them lived together and had caught a case of the colds. But that didn't matter, all four of them were gorgeous. _Pei_ was his personal favorite of course; he had a taste for exotic women and it didn't get anymore exotic than a giant panda. She was quite the woman, he mused. Big, but like he said, he liked some meat on his woman's bones. The villagers had taken the extra time to dress the girls up, painting their faces and covering them in the scent of sandal wood.

Hào Lang himself had chosen the feisty little mantis and currently had her in his personal quarters. She had all but thrown a fit at being chosen and the wolf was smitten at her fiery personality.

The bird, a quiet red-crowned crane who had said her name was Qiū, was smiling nervously at the twin bears who were ogling her. She quietly left when the two began arguing over who saw her first. She had been quite the hit with the ones who preferred their women quiet and submissive. She wore two ornamental lotus flowers in her feathers which accented her dark plumage beautifully.

Hóu, the female langur, was looking very shifty and her wide eyes darted from person to person. She kept picking at her pink _cheong-sam_, looking very uncomfortable. A huge ox bandit with a large battle axe strapped to back grinned lazily at her.

"Hey cutie, you dun' look took comfortable there. Want some help takin' that off?" he slurred with a lecherous grin. The monkey simply smiled back before dashing off to join the other girls.

The Komodo dragon, whose name was Gu, snorted indifferently as he watched the girls huddle together in a corner of the large cave for comfort. It was just a matter of time before somebody in his group lost control and got things rolling. This was how they did things; slowly starting to feed off their victims fear before _going in for the kill_, in a manner of speaking of course.

"What the _fuck_ is taking Mantis so long? I swear, if that ox talks to me one more time, I'll break his horns off!" said Monkey in frantic whisper as he huddled closer with his teammates.

"It's only been five minutes. He'll give the signal in a bit. When you hear it, get ready to fight." said Crane, keeping his ears peeled for anyone who might be sneaking up on them. It had taken too much preparation and embarrassment to have this fail on them now. He had come up with Operation Waterlily as a final resort in response to Hào Lang's violence, to keep the village's casualties low.

"What's the signal?" Po asked, sweat beading on his forehead. He didn't wipe it off, lest he ruin his make-up and expose himself. Crane turned red.

"It's…um…_well_….that is…." he stammered. The signal was the most difficult thing to come up with as it had to be discreet yet hearable by his teammates. Trouble was, with hundreds of pairs of ears and eyes surrounding them, there was no way they wouldn't get caught. That left one final option of course. It had taken some conniving and begging on Crane's part and a huge tantrum on Mantis' but they had finally agreed on a signal.

Loud banging noises emanated from Lang's quarters. The bandits removed their attention from the three huddled women and listened keenly.

"OH YES! OH BABY, YOU ARE THE KING! OH YEAH!" yelled a falsetto voice from the other side of the slab of stone that served as the bandit leader's door. A couple of the thugs shrugged their shoulders as they went back to sharpening their weapons and gambling.

Po stared incredulously at Crane who was looking very guilty. The panda's one lower eyelid began to twitch uncontrollably.

"That was the signal? Are you kidding me?" he whisper-yelled at Crane.

"No, that was Phase One. It means he's knocked Lang out. When he finds an escape route out of this place, he'll give another signal." Crane said, beginning to notice how the Komodo dragon Gu, seemed to have taken his attention away from them and was now more focused on the door to Lang's quarters. He suspected something.

The lizard raised a single scaly fist to knock on his leader's door. Crane felt a wave of panic flood over him. He needed to think of something fast!

"S-sir?" he called out in a whispery and quavering voice to Gu who turned sharply and fixed an annoyed gaze on him.

"Whaddya want?" the lizard snapped, irritated.

"P-please sir…d-don't hurt my friends….I-I'll d-do anything…." the bird sobbed nervously, looking very frightened. Gu smiled, showing rows of pointed yellow teeth. He loved it when the girls started to break right in front of his eyes. Simply put, it made life worth living.

"Anything?" he said in mock sweet tone.

_Nod._

Gu turned his gaze on the panda and the monkey. They both looked worse for wear; Pei's lower lip was quivering and her bright green eyes looked terrified.

"Okay then. Qiū, was it? You love your friends?"

_Nod._

"Do you love Pei?"

_Nod._

"Hmm, that's so _sweet_. Care to show how _much_ you love her?" The huge lizard grinned as he savored his favorite hobby; manipulating women into his own personal play-things.

"I-I'm not….n-not sure what you mean, _Sir_…." Crane continued, making sure to keep his voice soft and whispery. In the back of his head, he wondered what this sick bastard was up to. At least it was buying Mantis much needed time.

"I want you to kiss Pei. On the _lips_." Said Gu, grinning wickedly. The other bandits who had been listening to the conversation yelled their approval and began to gather around. A few yelled their suggestions.

"It don't count if there ain't no _tongue_!"

"Whoo! Take yer tops off first!"

"Threesome! Threesome!"

The Komodo dragon roughly grabbed the sitting panda's arm and dragged her to her feet. He roughly shoved the bear towards her avian companion as he and his comrades jeered and laughed.

Po locked eyes with Crane who looked back.

_No frickin' way._

_We have to! It'll distract them long enough!_

_No. FRICKING. Way._

With a long suffering breath, Crane puckered his beak in his best approximation of a kiss and using his wings to hold the fidgeting panda still, squeezed his eyes shut and kissed the Dragon Warrior full on his lips. The crowd continued to cheer as the two held the kiss for what seemed like minutes. Monkey, who was fortunate to have been left on the floor, made a mental note to burn his eyes when he got back home.

Crane tentatively opened his eyes and found the panda's green orbs staring back at him. The bear had kept his lips tightly curled in, refusing to cooperate. Crane glared at him angrily.

_Kiss me back, dammit! _

_What?_

_We have to keep it interesting!_

_O-okay…_

_That's bett—wait! Po, what the HELL?!_

_They said they wanted tongue! _

**BOOM!**

A loud noise that sounded like stone being crushed echoed from the Lang's quarters.

Operation Waterlily had reached its final stage.

Quickly pulling apart and wiping their mouths, Master Crane and the Dragon Warrior started striking and kicking at the nearest bandit they could find. Monkey had taken the cheong-sam completely off and began to engage the boorish ox and the twin bears. He let out a primal yell as he pushed off the ground using his hands and spun like an air-borne top. He kicked both legs out as he did this, catching his three opponents in the chin, knocking all three of them out cold.

Crane slammed Gu against a boulder so hard that a perfect indent of the lizard's body was made on its surface.

"You sick, twisted, _scum_! This is what you make women do?!" he yelled. The lizard could only stare on, still in complete shock.

All along….they were **men**? These were his final thoughts before fainting.

**BOOM!**

Another crash sounded as the stone door leading to Lang's quarters was shattered by the deceptively small Master Mantis. A huge lion carrying a pair of nunchucks and crocodile had seen this. Deciding to cooperate, they leapt towards the insect intending to crush him. Mantis was too quick however, using his speed to evade their attack and leapt forward. Swiftly, he grabbed his two opponent's tails and began to spin them around. He let go as he reached full momentum, sending both feline and reptile crashing into the roof of the cave.

"I am in _NO MOOD_!" the insect yelled after them as he charged into the foray. This was the absolute most humiliating mission he had ever done. There weren't enough pumice stones in the whole of China to help him scrub off this experience from his mind.

* * *

The four Masters looked on at the carnage. A few of the bandits remained, knocked out and lying on the ground. The others had escaped, taking their incapacitated leader with them. Ironically, they had used the escape route that Mantis had discovered earlier in the wolf's quarters.

Po was raggedly panting, having fought with ferocity that frightened even his comrades. Sure, he was a big fan of Master Crane, but well….not _that_ big. In fact, maybe he'd take down some of his posters he had in his room when they got back home.

None of the males spoke for a couple of minutes. It was Mantis who decided to break the ice.

"We do _not_ speak of this incident. We liberated the village and beat the _shit_ out of the Sons of Guān Yǔ. And that's that." the insect had said, looking pointedly at Crane.

_I blame YOU for this!_

He looked sideways at his simian friend who looked back.

_You, uh....you okay with not hanging for a few days?_

The langur nodded vigorously.

Crane breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, the Sons of Guān Yǔ had been driven out of the village. He walked over to Po who had stopped panting and was currently surveying the damage he and his comrades had caused.

"Good job Po." he said, about to give the bear a pat on the back and was surprised when he found himself unable to do so. The panda visibly flinched though Crane's wing never touched his back.

"_Don't touch me_! Er…s-sorry. I…uh…thanks. You know, just doin' my best." said Po, finding it equally surprising that he couldn't give his friend his usual mock-punch to the wing. He had formed the fist and was about to hit the bird's wing lightly in a show of camaraderie but found it impossible to do so without bringing back horrible memories of The Thing With Crane That Shall Never Be Talked About or Thought About Ever (as he had dubbed it).

The trek back home was equally filled with awkward silences which would quickly be diffused with talks about weapons, fighting and women. Being all men, there was usually no shame when they took their baths together in the streams and rivers they passed through on their journeys together. After the mission though, they began taking turns. Even Mantis, who usually had no problem with this, decided to take separate baths.

* * *

Viper's mouth hung open in shock as Crane described the full details. Previously Mantis had protested vehemently before finally relenting and deciding to stay quiet during the entire story, wincing as certain details were made known.

"So, in a misguided attempt to reclaim what you perceive to be your lost masculinity, you all start acting like _barbarians_?" she summarized, regarding each of them with a questioning look.

Seriously, were they THAT uncomfortable with…..

……yeah, they were. She took a deep breath and looked at each of them in the eye.

"What you all did for that village was incredibly brave. If it makes any difference, I don't think any of you are less masculine or _manly_ in any way. I think it shows just how great warriors you are and that's something to be proud of." she said with a smile. Crane returned her grin and Po's expression relaxed visibly.

Mantis, she noticed, still looked unconvinced. Having been raised in a traditional family, it must have been quite a blow to his ego to have to go through with the experience. Still, she had to nip this in the bud; if the guys didn't ALL turn back to their usual selves soon, she'd never get out of the Twilight Zone Of Weird Male Behavior.

Viper was trying to think of a solution when she noticed Tigress walking in to the kitchen. She was carrying a package of tea leaves and was beginning to prepare a pot of water when an idea struck the snake. Praying to the gods for strength, she hoped Mantis and the guys would appreciate this.

Moving quickly, she wrapped herself around the female tiger's trunk. The shocked tiger almost dropped the pot as she fixed her friend with a questioning look.

"Viper, what's goi---**mmMMppPPHH**!"

The jaw of every male in the room dropped as they watched Viper kiss Tigress full on the lips. The feline's eyes were wide in shock, her pupils were visibly narrowed and her body stiff as a board. After a few seconds, Viper pulled away and fixed her stare on the males.

"So, masculinity regained? No more doubts about what…._'army'_ you're serving under?" she asked, slowly uncoiling herself from the female tiger's torso. Tigress' eyes were still wide and unblinking as she shuffled stiffly back to her room, tea completely forgotten.

Everyone nodded dumbstruck.

"Good. See you all in the morning." she said, smiling sweetly at them.

Slithering in the hallway of their dorms, she noticed Tigress was still staring unblinkingly at the door of her room. Viper quietly went to the feline's side, concerned.

"Hey, sorry about that. You know how guys are with their macho image and---"

"I like _men_!" Tigress blurted out, slowly inching away from Viper. The tight spaces of the dorm hallway didn't give her much space to move around.

"What? No, no, Tigress, I just did that to snap them out of it!" the snake said, unsure why her voice was getting higher pitched. Strangely, she also felt the need to move a couple of inches away from her feline friend.

They stared quietly for a few moments.

_You okay with not hanging out for a few days?_

_Totally._

END

_A/N: And that's the end of that one ____ This was probably my longest one yet at twelve pages long in MS Word! I gotta start doing shorter chapter but I swear, sometimes these things just write themselves. Please review? Pretty please? It'll make me feel oh-so-awesome ;)_


	5. Daughters

_A/N: Man, I'm on a roll! As promised, here's a shorter chapter that deals with something I mentioned in my previous story. Viper has fangs! You can seem them clearly in the movie when she says "Maybe you should take a look at this, again.". Also, it's weird that Po's unmatched fanboyism would let him miss such an obvious detail right? On a final note, I should have been doing nothing but studying my physiology when I did this X( I just multitasked, so I had my reviewer in my lap the entire time I was typing this :D That said, I probably did this in about 4 hours, with no drafts or anything. I just kinda winged it, so if it seems sort of rushed, I apologize. Enjoy the fic guys!_

Po whistled a merry tune as he walked back into the living quarters of the Jade Palace.

Training with the new students, despite some initial uncertainties on his part, had gone very well. The students seemed very confident and eager to learn. Most of the villagers were of peaceful nature, having no claws, venom or any implements of destruction, but that wasn't what was important, as he himself knew.

Sauntering in the kitchen to make a snack, he noticed Master Viper already at the table, nursing a cup of tea and a plate of rice crackers.

"Hey, Master Viper! How'd your teaching class go?" he said, smiling at the serpent. She grinned back at him, displaying her poisonous fangs. Her bubbly personality and equally jovial nature made it very easy to forget the fact that she had the capacity to kill almost any sized creature with a single strike.

"Very well, _Master Panda_, thanks for asking." said Viper, in a mock-formal tone of voice, smiling as the distinct _tadtadtadtad_ began to sound from where Po was chopping vegetables. "I heard you told the _Secrets of The Furious Five_. Nice touch."

The panda froze for a moment, briefly halting his snack making.

"You heard that? Yeah, they kinda needed a little pick-me-up. About _your_ story…I, ah, kinda….." he stammered.

"Yeah, I heard." she replied calmly. Po's shoulders drooped, a sign that he had relaxed.

"Really? How? You were teaching them about the Scrolls way back in the Archives." the panda said, adding some salt and pepper to his cabbage and carrot noodle soup.

"On the way home, some kids asked me if I wore _dentures_." she replied, chuckling when the panda accidentally dropped the entire container of pepper into the pot. He whimpered as his soup turned from a light sandy color to beige.

"_Shit!_ Um, I'm—ah—"

"Don't worry about it Po. You were just trying to get your point across. Also, the girls in the class really needed that, even if they don't know it." she said, taking a bite from one of the rice crackers.

Po smiled, his soup troubles forgotten. His encyclopedic knowledge (fanboyism) about the Furious Five not only included their fighting styles and greatest battles but their stories as well.

He had, as Shifu termed it, padded the stories a bit for the kids. Viper smiled appreciatively at his efforts.

She had in fact been born with everything needed to be as lethal a kung fu master as her father. She was a bright, bouncy and healthy baby _girl_.

And that's where the problem laid.

"I mean, if the girls in class found out that _Baba_ wasn't so much disappointed in my lack of venom as he was in my lack of a _you-know-what_, that wouldn't be any good for their confidence, you know?" she said, remembering a bit sadly how Grandmaster Viper, despite being nothing but a kind and loving father, would look visibly disappointed whenever he and his fellow masters would get to the topic of offspring.

The other men would brag and talk about their sons and their hope that their boys would become men among men and eventually inherit their respective legacies, from kung fu to cooking.

Grandmaster Viper would sit silently as the others would continue to talk and laugh loudly. He loved his daughter but…

It was at about this time when he would take a big swig of wine and excuse himself with a smile. The other fathers would look on, feeling sympathy. After all, a _son_ was infinitely preferable to a _daughter_, and one of the greatest practitioners of kung fu had no one to continue his legacy.

"_H-hey, sorry about that Master. How is little Ling?_" they would call out to him, to which he would respond that his daughter was fine.

To his credit, Grandmaster Viper was beyond his time and believed, if not in equality, then at least in equal _opportunity_ to both men and women.

It was for this reason, and perhaps his own guilt, that he offered no resistance when Ling, who lived for nothing but to please him, asked to be trained in kung fu by no other than Grandmaster Oogway himself. He and his wife were understandably worried when the day of her departure came.

"_What seems to be the matter old friend?_" the aged tortoise had asked the snake.

_"Nothing, it's just…is it wrong for me to be so worried about her? I mean, she has my venom and has proven her strength but…"_said the viper, his eyes downcast.

_"You cannot help but worry."_ Oogway said sagely._ "Love, in all its ways, manages to defy all logic. She could be dressed in the finest armor in all of China and have venom a __hundred times more potent than yours but I assure you, you will worry instead how warm it will be for her in the armor. You will instead worry what would happen, should she bite her own lip!"_ The tortoise chuckled, his aged eyes twinkling.

_"You would be just as worried, were she a _son_ instead, my friend."_ he continued, watching as his friend's scaly head drooped even lower.

_"Please take care of her, Master Oogway. And tell her, if she still doubts, that I am proud of her."_ said Grandmaster Viper quietly. Beside him, his wife was shedding quiet tears, happy that her husband did truly love their daughter.

Viper sighed as she reminisced. While distracted, Po had managed to create another soup and placed a steaming bowl of it in front of her. He sat down with his own portion.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she said with another grin. She began to dig into her soup

"So, what's up with your Dad now? He holding up okay?" he asked after a sip of broth.

"Yeah, Dad's doing great. He's a bit too happy with the fact that I live in a mountain with little to no male contact." she said with a sigh and rolled her eyes.

"Hey…." the panda said, beginning to puff out his chest. What, he didn't count as _male_ contact?

"Do NOT start that again.", she hissed dangerously. "He thinks the '_the-great-and honorable-Dragon Warrior would never harm' _his little girl."

"What about the other guys?" Po asked, finishing off his soup and returning to the pot for seconds.

The snake giggled.

"Yeah, about that. Before you came here, every time Master Shifu got another student, he'd come here and threaten them if they were male." she said nonchalantly. She remembered how Crane, Mantis and Monkey had avoided her like the plague after they each had been threatened with bodily and mental harm, courtesy of their overprotective father.

_Hmmm, I don't think that worked as well as he'd hoped_ thought the panda with a smirk, knowing that Crane and Mantis most definitely held some sort of torch for the female master.

"What're you smirking about?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

The snake fixed him with a questioning look before thanking him for the meal and went off to rest in her quarters. Po continued whistling his happy tune as he began to wash the bowls and kitchen utensils.

* * *

The legendary Grandmaster Viper laughed merrily at one of his old friend's jokes. It was one of their weekly get-togethers and the topic had turned on the subject of marriage.

"Grandmaster, your daughter's of marrying age is she not?" one of them, a hawk, asked amicably enough.

"Yes she is, Gao. Which reminds me, what have you heard about the Dragon Warrior?", he began, downing a cup of rice wine.

"Well, he's a panda, of all things. He supposedly fell out of the sky in a ball of fire…"said Gao, ticking off the items on his long talons.

"No, I meant, is he married? How old is he? What did he do for a living before becoming Dragon Warrior?" said the snake, setting down his cup.

"Wha--?"

"Well, he _is_ living with my daughter. While I trust her judgment, I believe one can never be too sure what kind of people surround their loved ones." said Grandmaster Viper, getting off his chair to leave.

"What're you so worried about? Last I heard, the Furious Five beat up an entire horde without breaking a sweat!" exclaimed an old lemur with a wave of his hand.

The aged serpent raised an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have children, do you Chao?"

END

_A/N: I had a lot of fun with this one. I thought it would make sense that Po would "nerf" the stories about the F5 to make them more kid-friendly. I'm planning on making one about Monkey since I have reason to believe he did a LOT more than just pantsing people ;) Anyways, that "Review" button gives you candy if you write something in the box that appears when you click it. It doesn't have to be nice, you just have to mean it ;D Uhrm…review please! _


	6. Sock Flocked

**A/N: Hey guys! As you probably know, "Furious" will now continue with it's usual line of one-shot stories ^_^ This one will be a two-parter, three-parter at most (I promise). I'm going back to med-school (blegh) so updates might not be as regular as I'd like but don't worry, I'll just make up for it with longer chapters, m'kay? Anyways, I've wanted to do a fic with Mei Ling in it ever since I first saw her in SoTFF; she was really pretty and awesome. The fact that she was in Crane's story made it even more awesome, since he's probably my favorite member of the Five. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing except for the plot.

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Crane looked dubiously at the tiny mint leaf he held in his talon. Feeling rather foolish, he popped it in his mouth and was pleasantly surprised at the cooling effect it delivered.

The tall bird sighed; he still felt a little embarrassed at being reduced to this. He had often seen some of the young men in the village do all sorts of outrageous stunts to catch the attention of women in the village. Well, he wasn't exactly picking fights in restaurants just to show off his strength (a practice, he believed, set his fellow men back several _dynasties_), but the more the mint cooled his mouth, the more he remembered why he was doing this; Mei Ling was visiting.

The female mountain cat had been his inspiration for becoming the warrior he was today and after nearly 5 years of little contact except for the odd letter here and there, she had suddenly sent word that she was coming to the Valley of Peace and, in her words, would "drop by and see how Jien's doing". She had always referred to him by his birth name, Huang Jien, in the twenty-five letters (not that he was counting, of course) she had sent him over time.

* * *

"Oooohh, _Jien's_ getting a visit from _Mei-mei_! Hehehe—_ow_!" taunted Mantis when Master Shifu had read the letter aloud in the Training Hall, before being quickly silenced by a tail whip from Viper.

"Be nice. And that would be Master Mountain Cat now, wouldn't it Crane?" smiled Viper as Crane thanked her with a grin of his own.

Po was absolutely giddy with excitement. In his youth, he had unfortunately missed out on the now incredibly rare action figures of Master Mountain Cat. He still had some of his contacts in town, ready to tell him when he would be able to get his hands on one.

Not that he still collected action figures, of course. That said, if he theoretically still had the never opened box of _**Furious Five Action Figures: Special Deluxe Battle Gear Edition**_ lying out on his mattress, he should theoretically hide them in the theoretical loose floorboard of his room in the Palace later.

_Theoretically, _of course.

"Hmm, she's sure coming a long way from Yúnnán. That's about a week of travel time on foot." mused Tigress, her hand on her chin. She had heard some comparisons between herself and Master Mountain Cat.

True, she most likely had the advantage on strength, but the smaller feline might have had a slight edge on speed. And from what she had heard, Master Mountain Cat was highly skilled with a staff, while she herself always preferred to fight with her bare hands. Oh well, she'd find out when the time came. After all a little light sparring never hurt anyone, right?

Tigress mentally berated herself; she had sworn never to let the fanboys get to her, one way or the other.

Monkey stroked his chin thoughtfully, scanning the letter.

"This seems to be an important visit for her, yes?"

Shifu gave a small nod and began to roll up the letter before replacing it in the canister.

"She's coming here as a liaison for the Li Dai school, so I'd say yes, this visit must be quite important." he replied matter-of-factly. "As her duty, she will be evaluating the facilities, the teaching regimen and most importantly, the students.

He turned sharply at his five prized warriors, his gaze holding a clear message.

'_Be on you best behavior. Show them what the Jade Palace is made of.'_

Every one nodded in unison, to which Shifu gave them an approving smile. He rolled the letter up and handed it over to Crane, which he accepted gratefully.

After Shifu had left them in the Training Hall, all formalities began to drop; starting with Po.

"Wow dude, what was Master Mountain Cat like back then?" he beamed at Crane. They were both taking a break from their training and were currently sitting on a bench drinking water.

Crane looked pensive as he mused over the question. What was Mei Ling like back at the Li Dai Academy? She was the best student in the school, of course; she was one of the youngest members there but could fight better than most of the older students. Despite this, she never let it get to her head; Crane sighed wistfully, remembering how she was the only one who would talk to him like an equal, despite him being a lowly custodian to the school.

"Yikes, that's The Sigh, if I've ever heard one." said a familiar voice, breaking through the avian's reminiscing. He glared at the speaker, who hopped on the bench to join him and the panda.

"'The Sigh?' What on earth you talking about?" asked Crane, pointedly ignoring the look Mantis was giving him.

"'The Sigh' – short for the '_You've-got-it-bad-Sigh._' said Monkey as he strode over to join the others, for an impromptu guy chat session.

Crane glared at the newcomer, feeling his privacy being invaded. "And what is '_it'?_"

"'IT' is '_past-memories-of-feelings-you've-have-for-unattainable-girl-who-just-happens-to-be-coming-for-a-visit'_." , said Po sagely, deciding to throw his two _yuan_ in.

"Why on earth is everybody talking in hyphenated labels?" said Crane, taking a swig from his flask of water. Mei Ling's letters, even if he loved receiving them, were a double edged sword. He'd endured much torment from Mantis and Monkey back in their younger days whenever he got one. The two would follow him around singing rhymes and calling him _Jien_-_jien_ until he wanted to tear his feathers out.

Crane groaned internally; hopes of reconnecting with his old friend would undoubtedly be marred by his 'mother-hen' duties which would undoubtedly have to continue even during her visit.

He had gotten teased quite a bit in Li Dai for his gentle mannerisms, most of the male students calling him a 'pansy' or 'wuss'. Initially, he found some comfort in the fact that some female students seemed to prefer his company over their more boorish co-eds. He was beginning to think he was quite popular with the ladies in fact, until he found out they thought he was, erm, 'not a threat'. He had to clear things up when some girls had began asking his opinions on what color top would go with which color trousers.

"Hey Crane? You were kinda spacing out there…." said Po, waving a large paw in front of the tall bird's face.

Crane shook his head. "Sorry about that."

"Man, you've really got it bad for her!" Mantis quipped with a grin. Crane shot him an irritated glare, which faltered slightly. It was true, he supposed. Mei Ling had always been incredibly nice to him, and more importantly, she had helped him finally muster the confidence to take the first step into becoming the warrior he was today.

"I did have some feelings for her, I guess." he admitted quietly. Mantis looked incensed, not expecting the confession. It effectively shut down his ammunition for teasing.

"How about now?" asked Po, careful to keep his voice low. Monkey huddled closer to the group, straining his ear for the answer.

"I…I don't really know. It's been almost a decade since I last saw her." said Crane with a shrug. It had been such an incredibly long time since he had even thought of romance of any sort.

One just didn't have enough time for romance when diffusing fights of epic proportions.

"_Not to mention the barbarians and bandits._" Crane thought wryly, remembering how destructive his own teammates could be when they fought amongst themselves.

Mantis, having been ignored long enough, hopped on the wooden bench to better speak to his avian comrade.

"Tell you what, I've got a way of knowing if you've still got the hots for her." he announced triumphantly.

"Shhh! Keep it down, will ya?" whispered Crane. Mantis made a non-committal noise at the back of his throat and continued to speak more quietly.

"When she gets here, take note of what you notice about her first." said the insect conspirationally. "If you've still got a thing for her, you'll notice the way she smells first."

The other three men were only too keen to absorb this wisdom, their eyes glowing in intrigue.

Po was first to comment. "Why smell? I mean, there are a _lot_ of other things to notice about girls." He blushed a bit, remembering the various _things_ he noticed about a certain feline master, the first time he met her in person anyway.

"Yeah, but most of them are really more of the 'animal lust' -type thing." Mantis said, nodding wisely. "For me, I just have to look out for how sharp her teeth have gotten since we last met. After that, I ask if she's eaten yet."

His three comrades gave him a strange look.

"My people have some weird customs." he replied to the unasked question and left it at that.

"What do you mean about 'animal-lust' type thing?" said Monkey, still quite interested at the topic.

"You know, her rack, her ass, how _flexible_ she is, shit like that."

Unfortunately, their two female members chose at this precise moment to join them and caught wind of Mantis' words.

"You men are so shallow!" snarled Tigress as she strode past the sputtering insect, plopping herself on the bench and taking a drink of water.

"We were talking about Mei Ling!" bit back the small master, ignoring Crane's warning look.

Viper gave a snort of laughter. "I highly doubt she'd appreciate that." She noticed how uncomfortable Crane was looking and tried to catch his eye.

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, fine. I…have to go." said Crane, his thoughts still in a whirl. He turned to return to his quarters when he felt someone tap him on the back. He turned his head to reveal Monkey giving him a smirk.

"I have a stash of mint leaves in the kitchen. They're in a box above the flour and pepper." he said in a hushed tone.

Crane was confused. "Huh?"

"You realize the smell thing could work both ways, right?" said the simian with a sly grin. Crane, despite himself, blushed a bit before turning away.

* * *

Waiting atop the infamous Thousand Steps, Crane continued to marvel at just how fresh his mouth felt. He was willing to bet his breath smelled amazing too. It really was ridiculous how some men viewed oral hygiene as unnecessary. He, as well as his comrades and master, stood patiently as they prepared to welcome their guest.

"She's late." said Tigress, her voice neutral. She allowed herself the small satisfaction of knowing she was always punctual to all special events, before mentally berating herself. She really should have walked away the minute those fanboys started talking about her and imaginary matches between herself and various other opponents, ranging from members of the Five to more ridiculous things (she actually did leave when they began to discuss, quite seriously, if she could win against a thousand rabid rabbit cubs) .

Crane sighed heavily; if it was one thing that mattered to Tigress, and most kung fu masters in general, it was first impressions. Mei Ling had a rebellious streak despite her model student reputation; a streak he hoped had not grown during the years.

His thoughts were interrupted as he caught a scent of fresh grass and incense.

Suddenly, a green flash leapt from the horizon made by the highest step of the massive staircase. The figure flipped once in the air, before landing noiselessly in a crouch, in front of the small audience. She straightened up, and genuflected, her fist in her open palm to show reverence and respect.

"Wu Mei Ling, Master Mountain Cat, at your service from the Li Dai Academy of Kung Fu." she said in a clear authoritative voice, her head still bowed in respect.

"Ah, Master Mountain Cat. Your trip wasn't too difficult, I hope?" greeted Shifu.

Mei Ling looked up to meet the red panda's eyes, and gave a tiny smile. "Not at all, Master Shifu."

"Good." he replied crisply, before gesturing towards his students. "These are my students, and just recently, teachers here in the Jade Palace."

The mountain cat's eyes crinkled as her grin grew wider. "Gods, the Furious Five! You're so much more detailed than your posters!"

Po let out an excited giggle as he moved in to shake hands with another of his idols.

"Wow, Master Mountain Cat! You were so awesome in the Duel of the Half Moon! I-I mean, you're awesome all the time, but man! You beat those crocodile warriors with nothing but a fishing pole! Is it true you ran on the water and jumped up on the moon?"

Shifu rolled his eyes as he gestured towards the gushing bear with a thumb. "May I present, The Dragon Warrior."

"Pleased to meet you, Master Panda." Mei Ling responded while receiving the panda's wildly enthusiastic handshake. She gave him a small smile as she tried to reclaim her hand. After a few tries, she managed to extract herself from the handshake. She turned to the others present in the courtyard.

"Hey there, my name's Mei Ling. You must be Master Tigress." she said, giving a bow which Tigress returned.

"Nice to meet you. Maybe we can spar sometime?" replied the female tiger, a small lilt of challenge in her voice.

Mei Ling smiled and gave a firm nod. "You bet."

Crane watched as Mei Ling continued to meet and greet his comrades. She looked almost exactly the same; she was still dressed in the green vest and pants that was her trademark, but he noticed the presence of sleeves that stopped at her wrist. She wore a holster for her trusty staff, the leather strap crossing across her chest. She was obviously at the height of her…._suppleness_, was the best Crane could describe it. Her curves had obviously (he gulped) increased since her teenage years, and she gained a few inches in height as well. Her aura was heavier, more weighted; not depressed, but experienced. He bright amber eyes hadn't dulled as was expected with an increase in age, but in fact shone with the wisdom that her added years had allotted.

"Oh my gods, Jien? Is that you?" she said excitedly, turning her attention on the tall master. Crane began to bow immediately, feeling foolish for not doing so in the first place. He was surprised when he felt a pair of arms envelope him, hugging him tightly.

Mei Ling had wrapped both arms around her friend's torso, having abandoned all formalities. She ended the hug after a few moments and held him at arms length, scanning him from head to talon.

"Did you get taller? Wow, I didn't think that was possible!" she beamed at him, giggling happily.

Crane was silent, still re-living the hug that happened just a few moments ago.

Fresh grass and incense; it was _her_. He noticed her smell even before she had shown herself.

Oh, _shit_.

**A/N part 2: This probably could have turned out better ******** Don't worry, I'll have things go wrong at the next chapter :D You really think I can write about Crane without torturing the poor guy? I tried to do a bit of mushy-gushy romance here, which I admit I am not very proficient at. You be the judge of that, and as always, let me know okay? Your reviews, like I said, are my bread and butter. In fact, they're better than bread and butter, because they're fat free! **


	7. Mei Ling In the Jade Palace

**A/N: Another long-ass chapter here. No matter though, because I really had a blast writing this one ^_^ One of my friend refer to my stories as 'gutter fics' ; she says that to fully enjoy it, one has to have his/her mind firmly entrenched in the gutter. I, for one, can't understand why some of my stories start off innocently enough and end up being well, you know ^^;; Anyways, hope you all enjoy this one!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

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**

The five masters of the Jade Palace, with the addition of one noodle-maker/Dragon Warrior and one visiting kung-fu master, stared at the newest addition to the Training Room. The proprietors of the new contraption, three out of the four males currently present, eyed their handiwork proudly.

Crane didn't even bother looking at Mantis, his suspicions about the insect's schemes rarely needing vindication.

"How long did it take you to build this?" he asked, his voice stern.

"Oh—eighteen hours, give or take? Po and Monkey helped me out." replied the insect from his side, a note of glee in his voice. Sure, it had taken him the better part of nearly one day, but it was worth it.

"Yeah, I bet they did." Crane deadpanned.

* * *

It had been all of two days since Mei Ling came to visit them and as expected, she was a hit. The males liked her, for obvious reasons. And while this might have been frowned upon initially, the guys found her to be genuinely fun and easy to talk to. That was the way she always had been; her almost perpetually cheerful disposition, her girlishly boisterous nature and her incredible gift at kung fu were things that all males (and some females, on occasion) always found incredibly attractive.

At least, Crane thought so anyway. She was feminine, but not as girly as Viper; tough, but not as intimidating as Tigress. Po was instantly infatuated with her, not that he could blame the guy; he was a _guy_, after all. The panda would always get a stupid grin on his face whenever she would say something to him.

"Hey Po!" she called out to them, during _taolu _practice one morning. Crane had been there as well, training the bear on doing his splits without any almond cookies involved.

"O-oh, hey Master Mountain Cat! J-just…training….splits…...Crane….without cookies….so awesome….action figure….."

Crane felt bad at watching the bear's monochromatic face turn pink, then red, then purple. He felt even worse when he remembered himself doing the exact same thing at Li Dai.

Well, not the exact same thing. He puked all over the floor afterwards. Good thing he had a mop handy.

"Just Mei Ling's fine. Mei, if you don't wanna put in the extra syllable." she said with a giggle.

"Ahehehehe…._syllable_…uhm, I m-mean its—its fine! I wanna put it _in_!" said Po, still with a goofy grin on his face. His face turned nearly blue as he realized what he had said.

"I meant—I meant the _syllable_!"

"Of course, what else could you have meant?" said Mei Ling, still with an easy grin. She had changed out of her normal outfit and now wore a green silk vest similar to Tigress, except for the presence of shoulder length sleeves and a pattern of leaves blowing in the wind sewn in gold thread. She wore a pair of dark blue trousers which were held in place by a plain white cloth belt.

Crane gulped realizing that this was the first time he had ever seen the female master dress so casually. The silk vest was made of much lighter material than her thick wool vest and it showed off her figure quite well.

"_Stop! Earthworms, rotten vegetables, fertilizer..."_

She really had developed well over the years…

"_Aaarrgghh! Weaponsplumblossomfistnortherncranestylewhitelotusdrunkenmonkeysbarrelsoffish…"_

"Jien? You okay?"

"Yes?!" Crane managed to squeak. Damn it all, he was beginning to regress back to his old self around her; the weak, nerdy and defenseless janitor Huang Jien.

"Do you want to come have some breakfast? I have to evaluate the food here as well anyways and if you wanted to come with. You want to join us Po?" said the feline somewhat shyly.

"He would love to! I—uh I already ate!" Po answered for him. Crane let out a small squawk before nodding hesitantly. Mei Ling responded with a small smile before making her way to the kitchen, promising to meet him there.

Both bear and bird were silent for a moment.

"Gods, what a—wow. Just…"

"Yeah, wow."

Po looked over at the still fidgeting bird. "Well, aren't you going to the _date_?"

Crane turned his head so fast he was sure he felt something pop. "What date? She probably just wants a second opinion on her evaluations…"

"Man, what are you, _headless_? She was practically throwing herself at you!" said Po, gesturing wildly at the kitchen's direction.

There was a beat of silence for couple of seconds.

"She was?"

"Oh, for the love of—_yes_! She was!" Po nearly yelled. There was _no way_ anyone could be this dense. Sure, he was a huge fan of Master Crane and respected him tremendously, but that was because of the avian's kung fu skills. Women seemed to be quite the weak spot for the bird.

"…when?"

Po felt his eye twitch; okay, _yes_ way, someone could be that dense. "Somewhere along the middle of _'you wanna'_ and _'come with' _Not to mention the liberal amounts of googly-eyes she was making—if you ask me 'when', then I can't help you. Like, at all. "

Crane was surprised at how serious Po looked when he said that last sentence. Deciding to let his actions speak for him, he headed to the kitchen.

He found Mei Ling in the kitchen, a small scroll opened in front of her, sitting at one of the long dinner tables. Since taking in new students, a new mess hall had been built for the increased population. It was a fairly simple room, large enough to hold a hundred students comfortably. A separate station had been set up in the far side of the room, where the food was to be served by the cooks and where used plates could be washed.

The female master stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth as she wrote a few figures with her ink brush before rolling the scroll back into a cylinder. She gave the small space a look of approval before turning to the tall bird.

"You seem to have all your supplies in order. Who usually does the cooking here?"

Crane cleared his throat a bit. She was oddly formal, speaking again in the clear powerful voice that was so foreign to him. "Usually Po or me. Sometimes the other servants help out here for when we have the kids' class."

"You cook? I never knew." she replied, sounding impressed. Crane didn't miss that she seemed more interested in _him_ cooking, whereas most other people asked about the Dragon Warrior cooking.

"Yeah well, I had to. Monkey's a great cook but he usually doesn't start cooking 'til the last minute. Mantis and Tigress only know _chop_ _suey; _it gets real hard to eat after a week of nothing but."

"Guess there's a lot of things I don't about you, eh Jien?" she said, her voice returning to its more relaxed tone. He took a seat beside her and started to chat, both of them completely forgetting about breakfast.

They talked about, well, everything. What had happened to them during the last ten years, interesting battles they had been in, people they had met. They talked about the knowledge and wisdom they had gathered over the years, some from other masters and some from experience.

Crane cringed as Mei Ling showed him a particularly nasty scar that ran across her throat. He had never noticed it before as it was hidden by her furry coat.

"Got this one about six years ago; real close call. Good thing my jugular didn't get cut, that would've been really bad." she said sardonically, before noticing how pale her old friend had gotten. "Oh, geez—sorry about that! Kinda morbid, I know…"

Maintaining his composure, Crane gave her a reassuring nod. On a whim, he took of his wide brimmed hat and lowered his head. Using his wing, he smoothed out the red feathers of his crown to show a prominent jagged scar that crossed over his skull.

"Check this out. Barbarian gave it to me during my first battle with the Five. Guy was using a morning star and I was careless."

Crane was shocked when Mei Ling took his head in both hands and leaned over to get a better look. He gulped, noticing their incredibly close proximity to each other. He noticed her scent again and figured the fragrance of the freshly cut grass was acquired during her trip here.

"Holy shit, how'd you manage this?" said the mountain cat, her eyes as big as saucers she scanned the jagged memento.

"Not too well, I'm afraid. I ran around screaming '_Oh my gods, stop bleeding, stop bleeding, please, stop bleeding.'_ Tigress and Mantis had to sew me up in a cave somewhere." he replied, noticing how warm her hands felt around his temples. He could feel her light breathing on his crown as she continued to examine the scar.

"Jien, you have got to be more careful. Okay?" she said, finally releasing him from the impromptu check-up.

Crane tenderly put his hat back on its place and gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it. You shoulda seen the other guy. "

"I can't help it. I mean, I remember when those idiots, back in the day, would—you know…"

Crane sighed; boy, did he _know_. When he had practically begged his overprotective mother that he be allowed to be sent to a kung fu academy, he thought he had gotten his wish when he received a letter from Li Dai saying that he would be staying there. He was crushed beyond belief when his mother explained, with no small amount of self-righteous glee, that he never specified what he would be doing at the school. Yes, he would be staying on the grounds and doing chores. He just wouldn't be learning any kung fu. He would either have to get his mother to write him a parental letter of consent or he would have to audition for the school's training program himself.

Crane loved his mother; he really did. She was just a bit overprotective and withholding, probably to control her only child and mold him into a perfect son.

He remembered, with some irritation, hatching to life and squeaking for his mother, only for her to continue sitting on him for _two more days_.

The waterfowl felt bitterness well up in him, remembering that he hadn't written to his mother since becoming a janitor at Li Dai. Not even when the other students started teasing him or giving him all those noogies, wedgies and the odd beating here and there. The training regimen in Li Dai was quite harsh, as with other schools, and he supposed some of the students took out their frustrations on the one guy who wouldn't complain.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up…" said Mei Ling softly, seeing the look on her friend's face.

Crane broke from his trance and smiled at her. "Naw, it's alright. I gotta say though, if it weren't for you, I don't think I would've lasted as long as I have."

Mei Ling blushed at this. "Yeah, but I could've stopped it so much sooner. I mean, I knew they were giving you a hard time for years—b-but I-I just let it go…on…"

Crane's eyes widened; she was going to cry. Shit, he didn't know what to do when women cried!

Awkwardly, he put a placating wing on the sobbing mountain cat's shoulder. She hurriedly wiped her eyes and sniffled a bit, letting out a dry laugh.

"Oh gods, look at me! I'm s-supposed to be Master Mountain Cat here…"

"Hey, it's fine. You don't have to be Master Mountain Cat all the time, you know?" he said, rubbing her shoulder soothingly. "And it doesn't matter, because when you did what you did, that was all I needed. If it weren't for you, I'd probably still be up there at Li Dai, cleaning the outhouses and doing the laundry."

To his surprise, Mei Ling turned a bit red before looking at him. "Would that have been so bad?"

He gulped again. Did she mean—well, she did practically live there for most of her life but that would mean that if stayed there…and she lived there….

"S-so, how's the school? You're a teacher there, huh?" Crane said, quickly removing his wing from her shoulder.

"Yeah, I teach some of the more advanced classes." said the feline, her jolly composure fully regained, and oddly ignoring the sudden shift in topic. "I teach the older students who want to apply their skills in an actual battle situation. Some of them are soldiers or body guards for the nobles."

Crane gave a small chuckle. "Nice. I gotta ask—are you a Good Time Teacher or a Teacher From Hell?"

"Somewhere in between, I guess? I gotta say though, some of the students seem to _really _like getting hit by a stick and calling me 'Master'." she replied, her eyes shining with mischief.

"Huh?" came the reply from the bird, struggling not to choke on his own tongue. She probably didn't realize it, but he knew what kind of teacher she was.

She was the Hot Teacher.

"Just kidding." she said with a wide grin. Her amber eyes crinkled again at the sides, giving them an almond-like shape.

Crane tried to give her an angry glare and failed miserably. "Very funny. Say, didn't you say you had to evaluate the food here? How come you haven't eaten anything?"

Mei Ling shrugged her shoulders, giving the kitchen another glance. "Well, none of the cooks are here and I didn't wanna just raid the pantry."

"You want me to cook something for you?" said Crane, proud of himself for not having his voice crack.

"Jien, you do realize it's only ten o'clock right? Bit too late for breakfast, but really early for lunch. Besides, you don't have to cook for me; I'll get something from the mess hall at lunch time."

"Okay then, how bout dinner some time?" Crane couldn't believe it; he just _sort-of_ asked her out on a _sort-of_ date!

"That would be nice. I'd love to have you." said the feline with a smile.

Crane raised an eyebrow at her reply.

"F-for dinner I mean." she said again, and was instantly mortified at her words. "I-I mean I would love to have dinner with you!"

The bird gave her wide grin and stood up to leave the mess hall. He didn't bother censoring his own thoughts as he did earlier; he would love to have her too.

* * *

As for the female members of the Five, both got along with their guest quite famously, albeit in different ways. Viper was more than glad to have someone to shop with and practice make-up on.

Early on, Tigress had firmly told her that she would rather pluck her own tail bare than to let Viper try make-up on her ever again, after the first she had succumbed to the serpent's trap.

The snake still insisted that she didn't know how house paint got mixed up in her cosmetics kit.

The leader of the Five, on her part, seemed to have found a new rival in Mei Ling. She usually engaged in sparring matches with the other feline, ones that she seemed to enjoy immensely.

She didn't at first though. After one such sparring session, Crane and Monkey were surprised to see her storming towards them after a sparring session with Mei Ling. She had, foolishly, challenged to Mountain Cat to a best-out-of-three full contact spar with staves as their weapons of choice.

Crane exhaled loudly; judging by the way the female tiger's eyebrows met, the outcome of the match was clear.

"Monkey, can I borrow a staff?" she asked crossly, approaching the langur. She glanced sideways, careful to look for any witnesses.

The simian master gave a dismissive sniff. "What's the magic word?"

"_Now._" she growled, baring her fangs. Monkey gulped a bit before handing her a fighting staff from the wooden stand beside him. She quickly snatched it, muttered a 'thanks' and went off to the nearby courtyard practice her forms.

Cautiously, both males approached Tigress who was going through some basic forms, punctuating each move with a yell.

The bird coughed lightly to get her attention. "She's one of the best weapons practitioners in the whole of China you know. There's no shame in losing to her."

"Who says I lost?" she replied testily, jumping up for a windmill kick combined with a downward strike from the bamboo staff.

"Well, who won?" Monkey asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Define 'winning'. _Hitayt!_" Dust flew as Tigress let loose another furious downward strike, cracking the floor.

Monkey snorted in laughter. "She kicked your ass, huh?"

Tigress' ears flattened against her skull. She looked very, very angry and quickly closed her eyes with mutterings of 'inner peace'. After a few moments, she turned to Crane.

"She's pretty good. Tell her I want a rematch." she admitted with a small smirk. She made to leave before being cornered by Mantis who was wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Man, you got your tail whipped!" he guffawed, pointing at the seething Tigress.

"She got a lucky shot in."

"Yeah, more like _five_ lucky shots in. They were all in the same place too. How's yer _tuckus_?" said the smirking Mantis before dodging a paw swipe from the angry tiger. She stormed off, the males noticing her odd shuffling gait.

"Ouch. Shifu did always say she had problems watching her back." Crane mused aloud.

"Yeah, one area in particular." Mantis joked. "Man, you two should've been there! At the risk of sounding like Po, it was _awesome_. Even though she lost, Tigress was pretty darned good too."

The insect suddenly shifted his eyes to Crane. "And you! Oh you…you are a lucky man!"

So called "lucky" bird raised an eyebrow in question. "Okay. _Why_?"

"You want me to spell it out? She's great buddy, seriously. Not only is she super-hot and kick-ass, I can actually like her just for _personality_ alone."

Crane nearly fell over when the smaller master jumped onto his beak and glared at him with beady eyes.

"Do you have any idea how incredible that is?" Mantis whispered hoarsely.

Despite being cross-eyed at the moment, Crane still managed to give back heated glare. "For you, maybe! Unlike you, some guys actually prefer to listen to their hearts instead of other _organs_!"

Mantis gave a derisive laugh. "My heart hates uggos. Seriously though, don't be shy. You've gotta _ki—iis—ss~_ the gir—ack!"

Mantis' teasing and off-tune singing was cut short by Crane who swatted him off his beak. "Shoo fly, don't bother me."

Landing on his feet, Mantis simply sighed as he watched his feathered friend walk away. Turning to Monkey, he grinned maniacally.

"That was the best sparring match I've ever watched. This is exactly why we should have more female kung fu masters!"

Monkey raised an eyebrow. "What's so great about it? From what I've heard, the match only lasted about three minutes."

"Yeah, three full minutes of two sweaty, grunting, super hot women…"

Monkey's eyes began to glaze over as he imagined the scene while Mantis continued to talk.

"…totally enthralled in the battle, their souls entwined as one, each punch a connection to their hearts…battling each other….touching each other…._feeling_ each other….."

"Mud!" the primate blurted out. It was Mantis' turn to give his friend a strange look.

"I don't know why, but mud would've made that so much better." the simian explained between ragged breaths. The insect responded with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"Buddy, with your help, I believe we can make this happen. You up for some grunt work?"

* * *

The two felines also marveled at the newest obstacle added to the Training Hall; one of them eyed it in vague wonder and the other with suspicion.

Tigress crossed her arms furtively, her voice still full of doubt. "So, Mantis? Why don't you take us through the…er…"

"The _Spiked Forest of Instant Doom_! Dammit, it is NOT that hard to remember!" said the insect, feeling quite insulted. He and the guys had carefully constructed the contraption with their bare hands, and these two couldn't appreciate it!

No matter; he was a patient guy, and the new obstacle would benefit them in many different ways.

"Ok, this new one is fairly simple. It works a bit like the Jade Tortoise, since it tests out you balance. That's what the bamboo stakes are for. It's also got some elements from the Clubs of Instant Oblivion, I know you like them Tigress; those are the, ah, swinging hooks from the ceiling."

"Those look like they hurt." marveled Mei Ling, deciding to give the Jade Palace a perfect score for "Up to Date Facilities".

Monkey looked positively ecstatic, already anticipating the rematch between the two felines. "Nah, don't worry. Just don't get your…ahem…_clothes_ caught in them."

Tigress' eyebrow shot straight up at this while Mei Ling looked quite amused.

Sighing through her nose, Tigress decided to venture on. "And the mud?"

The bamboo stakes stood over a pool of brown mud, looking much like the consistency of caramel syrup. Some of the wooden planks had been removed and small but surprisingly well constructed pool took its place. It looked to be filled with a good three feet of mud and would surely challenge the footwork and coordination of anyone who fell in there.

"So glad you asked!" Mantis and Monkey chorused. The insect continued to explain, hopping atop one of the stakes.

"You might be expecting that once one fighter falls in, that it's game over right? Wrong! Once one of you falls in the second tier, the other combatant is to join them and continue on with the fight!"

"Mantis! Aren't you forgetting an important rule?" yelled Monkey, practically frothing at the mouth.

"No, I am not!" Everyone expected a thunder crack as Mantis yelled this. "Once both fighters are in the mud, only _grappling_ moves are allowed! If anyone were to throw a single punch or kick, she will instantly be disqualified from the match and will face _eternal_ shame and dishonor!"

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Yyyeeeahhh….we're not doing that." Tigress said flatly and turned to leave. Honestly, of all the ridiculous…

Thinking quickly, Mantis decided to pick on a fresh wound. "Why, scared you'll get your ass kicked…again?"

This stopped the feline dead in her tracks and elicited a low snarl. Without turning around, Tigress leapt high in the air and landed perfectly on a bamboo stake, balancing on her heel. She raised a hand and beckoned the other feline, a determined glint in her eye.

Surprisingly, Mei Ling smiled. She jumped and took her place on another stake. "Bring it on."

Taking this as his cue, Po turned on the swinging hooks. True, he would probably be skinned alive by Master Tigress for helping out in the construction, but if the match went as planned, he could die a happy nerd.

The males and one bemused Viper watched as both felines struggled to get the upper hand on each other. For the first few minutes, the match took place above the ground, both females expertly balancing on the stakes. The three proprietors watched in anticipation, waiting for the one missed step. Crane, despite being adamant in his purpose of staying only to treat any injuries afterwards, watched out of the corner of his eye.

Viper simply watched in awe, fully engrossed in the match itself.

She turned to Mantis who was staring open mouthed at the two combatants.

"Who do you think is going to win?"

"Let me put it this way; whoever loses, _we_ win."

"Ah. You're really sick, you know that?" Viper said, shaking her head as Mantis simply laughed.

"Kiyah—oh fu—**SPLASH!**"

Everyone with a Y chromosome began to cheer wildly as both combatants finally made heir way to the coveted "Second Tier". Crane, who was still steadfastly looking away, dared to glance sideways and was treated to a sight that sent even his usually serene composure into frenzy.

"Dude, I didn't know bodies could—ulp—bend that way!" came the awed voice of Po.

"Man, we need some peanuts or cookies while we watch this. Monkey, go get us some!"

"And miss this? Not a chance!"

Crane felt his mouth go dry as he heard his own voice comment in his mind: _"I hate to admit it, but Mantis may have __something__ here!"_

He willed his brain to shut up. This was wrong.

"_Oh, SO wrong! Hehehehe……"_

No, stop thinking! Mei Ling would kill him! She was quite proficient at grappling and holds; she'd probably grab him and corner him against a wall, then she'd pin his wings to the side….yeah….after that, she would lower her face to his own and stare him down with those fire eaten eyes. She would growl low and threaten to punish him, for misbehaving….

"Artichokes! Cornmeal! Tofu!" yelled Crane, his voice cracking several times. The nonsensical group of words had an unexpected effect as it silenced the commotion being made by the male audience. The two combatants also ceased their wrestling match, now covered head to toe in mud. If it weren't for the height difference and eye color, it was almost impossible to tell one from the other.

"Good show, ladies!" Mantis yelled, hopping over to the two felines who were making their way out of the muddy hole. He turned to one dirt encrusted feline and began to chatter excitedly.

"Mei Ling, I gotta say, you were incredible! Yeah, Tigress was strong, but you _obviously_…

"I AM Tigress, you dillweed." replied the muddy feline. The irritated glare and icy voice confirmed it, causing Mantis to stutter.

"I-I mean, you were great too! I didn't know you could, hehehe, _bend_ that far back! And when you did that scissor headlock…y'know with your legs? That was just…."

Po cut short Mantis' commentary with an excited whoop.

"…so AWESOMELY INCREDIBLE! I think this finally confirms that Master Tigress and Master Mountain Cat are two, totally different fighters who just cannot be compared to each other!" gushed the bear, unable to keep still. He began to mime the movements of the combatants, although not nearly with as much grace or agility.

"The first half, Mei Ling was in total control, she was like 'VawOOOSH!' and 'WattTTAI!' and in the second half, Tigress was like 'HIYAH!' and…"

Despite her current state, Mei Ling still smiled through the caked mud formed around her face. "We get the idea, Po. Now, calm down before you get a stroke or something."

The mountain cat was surprised as a muddied paw was held in front of her by her sparring partner. She looked up to find a grin adorning Tigress' features.

"Nice match. You gotta teach me some of those grappling moves." she said, finding it much easier to be civil the second time around. Perverted their intentions may be, but Mantis and Monkey gave her the chance to see that Master Mountain Cat was a fair and noble fighter, whose skills easily matched her own.

"Only if you teach me those punches." replied the smaller cat, accepting the handshake.

Monkey decided to interrupt the conversation. "Hey, when you teach her grappling, can we watch?"

This drew a chorus of laughter among the males and even the women joined in the laughter. Mei Ling and Tigress made their way to the bathhouse to get cleaned up ("Can we watch?" said Mantis before being silenced by a tail whip from Viper) and the remaining masters began to clean up some of the mud which had spilled onto the wooden floor.

"You do realize we'll have to take down the Spiked Forest of Instant Doom, right?" said Viper, polishing the floor with a rag attached to her tail. Her suggestion was met with yells of protest from Monkey and Mantis.

"No way! Do you have any idea how hard that was to build?"

To the insect's confusion, Viper grinned wickedly. "You really wanna run the risk of Master_ Shifu_ giving this thing a spin?"

Mantis shuddered; he tried not to let the mental image of their old wrinkled master rolling around in the mud erase the sparring match from before, but it was too late. He couldn't even look at his creation anymore!

He sighed heavily. "Shut it down."

Everyone else nodded, all simultaneously trying to erase the horrid thought brought about by Viper's hypothesis.

* * *

**A/N part 2 : Yep, guys love catfights; it's scientific fact. I'm willing to bet that with all its innovations, China had something to do with introducing the world to mud-wrestling. Can't find anything in the record books though, and I can't really blame them :-P Read and review guys! Pretty please? Next chapter will be the last of the 'Mei Ling' trilogy, so watch out for that one!**


	8. Changes

**A/N: Please don't hit me! *hides* I know this has been a LONG time coming, but I finally finished it! I had actually written this chapter quite a long while ago, but a power outage and my own stupidity for not saving resulted in the loss of my work. School work began to pile-up and before I knew it, I already had severe writer's block not to mention about four hours of sleep daily. But now, thanks to a week off from school, as I managed to pass the comprehensive exams, I am back with a ****vengeance****! So please, to all my readers, old and new alike, enjoy this extra long final chapter in the Mei Ling trilogy!**

**Special thanks goes to **_**Nievelion**_** who beta'd my story and gave me some valuable writing tips! If you haven't read "A Different Lesson" by him yet, I highly recommend it; tis' awesome!

* * *

**

Taking a deep breath, Crane ticked off the seconds in his head as he exhaled slowly through a funneled beak, having returned from a quick riffling through the Qi Gong scrolls collected in the Archives. From what he had read, proper breathing apparently did wonders for a nervous constitution. Whatever those exercises were supposed to do, he needed it more than ever now, since whatever confidence might have been instilled in him back on that fateful day in Li Dai, it was nowhere to be found at the moment.

It was ironic, he thought, how the one who gave him courage in the first place was now the one responsible for stripping him of it. The funny part was, she had no idea she was doing it. If he were anyone other than himself right now, he'd have laughed at the poor schmuck who was freaking out over a date with a woman, when hordes of bloodthirsty barbarians failed to evoke anything close to similar.

Continuing his breathing exercises, the avian master fixed another critical look at his reflection on the polished sheet of metal that hung on the wall of his sleeping quarters. He was not one to hold physical appearances in high regard, and now, he felt in no small part like a hypocrite.

Well, he didn't really keep the mirror to check himself out anyway. It was part of a secret ritual of his, a special process that no-one but he and Master Shifu knew about. He had resolved to take it to his grave and would not be performing it with the others still present in the Palace, if the situation wasn't so dire.

Today was the day; his dinner date with Mei Ling. She had finished her evaluation of the Jade Palace, deeming it a "Center of Excellence" and was scheduled to leave the next morning. Actually asking her out had been the easy part, surprisingly; setting the _date_ for the date had been nerve wracking. But he had managed to do it, and now, things were going quite smoothly.

He focused the chi in his ears and strained to hear any disturbances in airflow; in this state, a leaf falling on water would be hard-pressed to escape his notice.

After a minute, he smiled in relief to himself. The ritual could begin.

He fixed his reflection with the most piercing glare he could manage. "Who's the most bad-ass kung-fu master there ever was?"

"_You are. That's right, you are the MAN_," the bird in the mirror responded.

"Who's going to take Mei Ling on the best date she's ever had?"

"_Master Crane is. He will sweep her off her feet!"_

Crane stood straighter and puffed his chest out, settling nicely into the ritual. "Yeah, that's right! You, my friend, are a strong, virile man, and you're going to rock her socks off, you magnificent SON OF A BITCH! You're going to show Mama that you're a big boy now and that those assholes in Li Dai can suck it! Ha!"

The bird could feel the confidence surging back into his being, filling him with power. He struck a pose, flexing his wings as if to show his muscles. It was a shame this was the only way to do this; if anyone ever found out he'd have to stab himself with his own paintbrush.

"Dude…were you just psyching yourself out?"

Crane froze and stared slack-jawed at the figure that appeared at his doorframe. The confidence that had filled him previously had been replaced by every meal he had ever eaten in his lifetime threatening to escape his body from all available orifices.

It was a real shame he'd have to kill himself now. He'd already planned out a menu for the date too.

Po stared blankly at the bird who seemed frozen in a pose that was quite unsuited to his skinny frame. He took note of the tall mirror hanging on the wall, and gave an understanding smile.

"It's totally normal, you know." said Po, with a wistful look in his eyes. "I used to do that too when I was kid; my Dad would take me to his mahjong games and I didn't know any of the other kids there…."

* * *

"**What the hell are you doing?" the young bear wailed vainly at his reflection, wiping his brow with a handkerchief. "Stop sweating, you stupid bastard!"

* * *

**

Crane silently prostrated himself in gratitude to every deity and god he was familiar with; it was a divine stroke of luck that it was Po who found him in this state. He also found himself secretly proud of the rotund warrior for having improved vastly in stealth; no small feat, considering his size and weight.

"Here ya go, buddy." said the panda, holding up a brush in front of the bewildered avian.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling something about 'ending' something with a 'paintbrush' a while ago. Did you wanna finish a painting or something?" Po asked innocently, continuing to wave the brush in front of his beak.

Crane quickly snatched the drawing implement from the bear's paw and set it down on the floor. Those were some very morbid thoughts he had a while ago. His panic subsiding, he realized the panda was dressed in a manner quite different from his usual attire. He was wearing clothing on his upper half for one: a blue, sleeveless vest with gold lining the collar and hem and a five-clawed dragon emblazoned on the back. On his feet, he wore heavy leather sandals and fresh leg bindings. A large backpack had been set down by his feet, filled with what was sure to be fresh changes of clothes and survival gear.

"You're all packed up I see." Crane said happily. "Give the others the best of luck from me."

"Thanks. This is so awesome! My first adventure with the Furious…oh, I mean…er…" said the bear, beginning to shuffle nervously.

Crane allowed himself a small chuckle. "It's okay, Po. You need the experience a lot more than I do. Besides, they need someone here at the Palace to keep watch."

Not for the first time that night, Crane pledged to burn ten sticks of incense in the Temple the first chance he got. A letter from members of the Imperial Navy in Biànliáng had arrived not a day before, asking for assistance from members of the Furious Five. In what he was sure was a sign of divine intervention, the letter specifically named the members of the Five that were needed for their respective attributes.

He was grateful that the captain of that certain division, a falcon named Jiāo Jīn, had made sure to imply, none too subtly, that an aerial combat specialist was not a requirement. The waterfowl was quite sure it had more to do with the raptor's pride in his own skills than any sort of personal insult, and he was all the more glad for it. Biànliáng was only a day's worth of leisurely travel at most but it would be plenty of time.

Because of this turn of events, he and Mei Ling would have the Palace to themselves that night.

A small amount of guilt crept inside him when he realized he had been celebrating his comrades going off to battle but it subsided as quickly as it had appeared when he realized what that would mean.

No Tigress always challenging Mei Ling to sparring matches. (From the rumors he had heard and the numerous betting pools circulating among the servants, it was twenty to nineteen in Tigress' favor.)

No Mantis or Monkey revealing some of his most humiliating battle mishaps. (Seriously, did they _have _to tell her the one about the Amazons? That incident was quite enough to put any thoughts of romance out of his head for a good number of years. To his further mortification, Mei Ling couldn't look at him without blushing for nearly two days.)

No Viper or Po hanging out with him. (Okay, so that one wasn't actually that bad in itself, but when the two joined him and Mei Ling, the hinting and innuendos that came from the two were enough to effectively silence him and his old friend for hours on end.)

Even Master Shifu had been called away to the Forbidden City. Their master was to serve as a temporary adviser to the legendary Lord Bao Gong for a particularly gruesome case about a peasant who had killed his wife to be able to marry royalty.

Breaking his stream of thought, Crane saw the panda giving another smile. A small gleam of white from the bear's front teeth indicated that he seemed to be struggling not to turn it into a full-fledged smirk.

Po bowed respectfully. "Thanks, Master Crane. Say hi to Mei Ling for me on your date!"

He made a quick turn despite an irritated look from the bird, letting the smile finally turn into a smirk, and then into a broad, open grin. Yeah, Crane had some 'watch keeping' to do, all right.

***

* * *

Rummaging through the pantry, the feathered master was fretting over the menu he would be cooking tonight. Again, if it wasn't him this was happening to, he would have laughed himself silly.

"Well, we _are_ well stocked," he quietly muttered to himself. The shelves of spices, herbs and fruit preserves were quite a sight to behold. The large wooden compartments stood easily three times taller than he and held a variety of jars and containers holding various implements for culinary diversity.

His eyes were beginning to run down the containers of anise and saffron when he caught sight of a small note propped up between a couple of jars. Squinting, he noticed that the sandy colored parchment was still quite crisp, meaning that whoever wrote the message must have done so no longer than a few hours before.

Deftly snatching the note with a dexterous wing, he read its contents.

_Jien-jien,_

_Me and Monkey have a special surprise for you by the Pool of Sacred Tears. No need for thanks; just some gory details when we get back._

Scanning further down, he found that the paper had been signed with the character for 'good luck'. Beside this, an inked impression of a thumbprint was pressed onto the paper.

Crane held back a sigh; Mantis and Monkey would always sign their notes this way, especially the ones that pertained to their various pranks in their younger days. He folded up the note and slipped it in the cloth sash that held his trousers before heading for the stated location.

He arrived shortly at the holy training grounds, having taken flight to get there. Landing noiselessly on a patch of weeds, he quietly scanned his surroundings, from the lush green floor that seemed to shine in the moonlight to the natural centerpiece that was the pool itself. He remembered hearing the legends about a dragon who had once wept over this very place, his heart broken by a woman who left him for another man. Instead of challenging the other suitor for her, he saw that she was indeed happy, and having loved her so, chose instead to leave for the heavens. He climbed to the mountain and found that he could not ascend, the weight in his heart being too much to bear. And so, the dragon wept for days over what was once a deep pit and turned it into the revered body of water it was today.

Crane gave a small sigh; the mysterious allure of this place never got old, even after he had lived in such close proximity to it for a number of years. He quickly started looking for the surprise Mantis had mentioned, wondering just what it might be.

An unpleasant memory resurfaced in his thoughts, remembering the last time his friend decided to surprise him with a book for his birthday. It was supposedly a collection of ancient teachings from across the Himalayan mountains.

It had sounded fascinating at first until he found the incredibly graphic artistic depictions of sexual acts the book had contained. If nothing else, he at least found out how intimate a chicken could get with a wolf, having seen several odd couples during his travels with his comrades.

He continued searching, his talons making soft noises against the dew-speckled blades of grass. Looking behind a large moss-covered boulder, he found himself grinning in stunned silence. He came across a wicker basket filled with an assortment of dried and fresh fruit, a variety of breads and even a bottle of what looked to be expensive absinthe.

So, this was the surprise! Crane found himself pleasantly startled and honestly amazed. He had been quite sure that Mantis and Monkey had not a single romantic bone in both their bodies, and here they were, coming up with this!

The bird began to pick through the collection and located a folded sheet of cloth, undoubtedly to be used as a picnic spread. He started laying out the food when he noticed a small covered plate amongst the various edibles. Another note was attached to it as well so he gingerly took hold of it and started to read.

_Jien-jien,_

_Hope you appreciate this. Again, DETAILS!_

_This particular one's for _(the ink had dried quite a bit, meaning that Mantis apparently had to think a while before writing the next word) _STRENGTH._

The avian raised an eyebrow; what on earth would he need strength for? Setting the note aside he opened the covered plate and was greeted by a salty smell, much like brine. A slight scent of lemon was there as well, which very much complemented the whiff of tomato puree that he also detected.

Oysters.

Crane felt his face heat up.

Ohhh……_strength_. Right.

***

* * *

"Wow, this place really is pretty," gushed the female mountain cat as she trekked along the path with her avian friend.

"Yeah…pretty," Crane said, wisely deciding to keep his words to a minimum. He had been quite ready to say the old '_but not as pretty as you_' line when he caught himself.

That said, the feline looked positively radiant that night; she had again abandoned the heavy green vest (a combination of wool and leather, he had learned) and in its place wore long-sleeved silk robes that looked as if they were sewn from strands of molten emerald. The accompanying black trousers she wore were bordered at the hems with white, with an embroidering of a dragon stitched with shining yellow thread at each pant leg.

Apparently, she was taking Viper's fashion advice in a much more accepting manner than Tigress; he had been privy to a few snippets of 'girl talks', in which Viper and Mei Ling would laugh and giggle, and Tigress would growl miserably, trying to sleep.

The pair walked (and stared, in Crane's case) for an hour and a half, chatting amicably and sharing a few scattered giggles. The feathered master noticed a calm aura surrounding his old comrade; her eyes shone brightly against the velvet canopy of the night sky, almost burning into his own whenever he managed to catch them.

He sighed heavily; damn, Viper's romance novels did _wonders_ for the vocabulary.

After another minute or so of walking, Crane began to feel the gradual reduction of the incline of the ground, meaning they had reached their destination.

Mei Ling had stopped walking, gaping open mouthed at the scene before her. "Wow, Jien…it's so beautiful here…."

Crane gave a small nod, he himself caught up in the moment; the moon was perfectly full, its glowing façade reflected almost perfectly on the surface of the water of the nearby Pool of Sacred Tears. The millions of stars shone bright as if trying to outdo each other, looking effectively like grains of glowing sand spilled onto the heavens.

"Hey, there's food here!" came the female cat's slightly startled voice from behind him, having found the spread he had painstakingly set up not a few hours before.

She wore a wide smile, looking back at him as if to ask _'Did you do all this?'_

Crane swallowed a bit; gods, _why_ was she so beautiful?! He wanted to be able to do that, to convey his thoughts smoothly through meaningful looks and grand gestures! All he ever mastered was blubbering incoherently. From what he had read from Viper's romance novels and even Mantis' own er…_'romance'_ novels, men were supposed to be able to make women melt with a single….

He felt a gentle tug on one of his wings. "Jien, come on. Let's have a seat."

Crane blinked rapidly and smiled at the female master. "Sure."

***

* * *

"….and then I said, 'I don't know, I was just trying to get a drink!'"

Mei Ling let out a hearty laugh as Crane recounted an old story from his days as a young kung fu master. After some initial quiet awkwardness, the avian had to admit dinner had gone quite smoothly, thanks in no small part to the wonderful menu and venue.

He grudgingly had to admit that his two comrades might actually deserve the 'details' they kept asking him for. Looking at his side as he sat on the picnic blanket, he found that he actually wouldn't mind recounting this.

The feline nursed her small cup of water, both of them having made the joint decision not to drink the absinthe. She looked at him with half-lidded eyes and sighed contentedly.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. Thanks, Jien."

Crane took a sip from the cup he held in his talon before returning her smile. "Don't mention it."

"Ever?" she asked slyly

He gave a light chuckle. "_Ever._"

"Man, I'm really going to miss this. It's a hell of a going-away present, that's for sure," said Mei Ling, a slight note of melancholy in her voice. She pulled her knees closer to her chest, hugging them closely.

"Hmm? I…uh…thought maybe…that you'd, y'know….do this sort of thing all the time….with your friends…."

The female master gave a small smile at her companion.

"…..or you know…..boyfriend….or something….."

_Shit_.

The universe was playing a cruel joke on him, he decided; the exact reason he had declined drinking alcohol was that, and here was the _kicker_, he didn't want to say anything he might regret later.

"I don't really hang out with friends much," said the mountain cat lightly, seemingly unaware of his plight. "I mean, sure, we go out for a bite to eat sometimes but I'm not exactly part of their clique."

"Er, really? Why not? You always seemed to be a real people person back in Li Dai."

"Yeah, but that was before receiving the missions, after _missions,_ after **missions**." She gave a tiny sigh. "Don't get me wrong, I love helping people and I'm proud and honored that they hold me in such high regard…"

"…but?"

"You know, I can't get close to them. The people I help, I mean. And, I guess it kinda carried over to my personal life as well."

"Why can't you get close to the people you're helping?" Crane said quietly, watching the shift in her emotions. Her aura again was beginning to change and this seemed to become reflected by the temperature of the surrounding breeze.

He was met with silence for a few moments.

"I-I'm sorry…I didn't mean to pry…"

"No, no, it's alright; it's just—about one year since I got my rank as a Master, I got my first commendation from the senior instructors at Li Dai. They assigned me to protect a noble's daughter. He was being targeted by assassins and they were afraid that they might try and get to him through her. So, I watched her and guarded over her all the time. It was like having a sister; she was only a year younger than me and we became friends. I swore to her that I would always hold her best interests at heart.

"It wasn't long when the assassins decided to make their move. I was with her when they took her; it was a group of rebels, mercenaries. I was too green back then; thought that the rules in sparring would apply in an actual battle. So, I fought them as honorably as I could, but in the end, I killed one of them."

"Your first kill?" Crane asked, moving closer to the mountain cat who was shivering lightly. He suspected it had nothing to do with the temperature.

"Yeah—it wasn't even worth it, 'cause turns out, he was just a distraction. They managed to take her away, wrote letters demanding that the nobleman hand himself over to them, in her place. The parents tried to bargain with them, tried to pay them off. But no, they didn't want money; their ideals couldn't be bought. All the while, I tried everything I could to find her but I couldn't. I was a mess, Jien, I cried almost every night she was gone. I cared for her like a friend, like my own flesh and blood. Maybe if I didn't let my emotions get in the way….I could have found her sooner…."

Crane himself began to shiver slightly as his companion continued to tell her tale. "Mei Ling…it's okay….you don't have to continue…"

"N-no, it's fine….I want to get this off my chest. So, I was searching for her, right? One day, I received word that I'm being called back to Li Dai. I couldn't understand why, since the mission was far from over. I was hoping that someone else had found her or that she had escaped, or the rebels had miraculously decided to give her back. You know what happened? They decided not to give in to rebels' demands; the nobleman, her father, was apparently too important a figure in the government to lose. You should've seen that bastard and those other rich assholes….you know he was talking about her like she was an object?! Like something he would rather have returned or refunded….s-she w-was—she was w-waiting for him t-to do something! S-she…was….w-waiting—waiting for _me_…."

Crane tried to swallow again but found his throat to be too dry. The female cat was sobbing openly now, letting her tears drop freely from her once jovial eyes.

"T-they…called me back….just after they had sent that letter to the rebels, saying they weren't willing to deal…..I f-found her body…..a day later….washed up in a river…. raped her….b-beat her to death….her fingers…oh gods….t-they had to pry her fingers from a p-pendant I g-gave to her….she…t-trusted me….oh gods, Quan Yin in heaven….."

He couldn't take it anymore. He felt confidence, strength and concern boiling inside him, mixing into a potent brew. In a swift motion, Crane used his wings to envelop the crying feline beside him in a cocoon of his own feathers. He whispered soothing words to her as he pressed his forehead against hers, so that he felt the shallow breaths and sobs generate from her frame and pass into his own.

"Shhhh…it's okay….it wasn't your fault….."

Slowly, Crane felt a pair of strong but slender arms slip under the crook of his wings and latch onto his back, returning his gesture. Further shocking him was the soft, wet _thing_ that pressed and lingered at the corner of his beak. He opened his eyes just as the unfamiliar, but gods-damned _incredible_ sensation he felt on his beak decided to stop.

The avian gaped at Mei Ling who was sniffling, yet was smiling and blushing at the same time.

"I—I don't have a boyfriend."

"B'whuh?"

Mei Ling blushed hard, her skin seeming to glow crimson underneath her fur. "Completely by choice—I mean, most of the guys back in Yúnnán, well, they're a bit old-fashioned I guess….they have some trouble grasping the fact that a woman can fight better than them."

Common sense told Crane to shut his trap, but another voice that sounded suspiciously like a certain insect won out and had him speak exactly what he had on his mind at the time.

"You can fight for me, anytime."

The female mountain cat cocked her head bemusedly at the stuttering bird in front of her.

"N-no, what—what I meant was….oh, geez…"

She gave him a coy smile. "It's all right. Do you wanna go back down to the Jade Palace? I mean, we've pretty much eaten all of the food…."

Crane gave a small nod and moved to help his old…friend (was she, still?)….gather the various containers for the food they had eaten. It was mostly finger food and small snacks they had fed on, brilliantly devised by Mantis, he guessed, to keep the conversations going and to make cleaning up easier.

"Hmm, looks like we have some leftovers…." he distractedly heard Mei Ling murmur, until he caught a glimmer from the corner of his eye.

It was a very familiar silver covered platter. He wailed helplessly in his head for the ground to swallow him up but it was too late. He should've thrown them away, but his mother had instilled in him the principle of never wasting food.

The familiar smell of brine and pureed tomatoes wafted into his nostrils again, meaning the cover had been removed and his utter humiliation was exposed.

"Oysters?"

He chuckled nervously. "Y-yeah, so they are…."

Surprisingly, Mei Ling took one of the shellfish and with a dainty slurp, consumed one. She licked her lips a bit, eyes pointed upwards as she took a moment to discern the flavor.

"Hey, that's pretty good! Want one?"

"Er, sure, why not?" Crane answered, feeling slightly relieved that his companion seemingly hadn't made the connection between the oysters and……other things.

He accepted the offered seafood, preferring to use his wing again, and after some short hesitation, ate the contents of the shell in one gulp.

"Wow, that is good!"

A small smirk crept up on the mountain cat's features. "Told ya. Plus, you know what they say about oysters…."

Crane smiled; apparently, oysters did a LOT of things. For Mantis, it obviously was meant to get someone in the mood for sex. He wondered what Mei Ling thought they did.

"It er…gets you….uhm…in the mood."

"Huh?"

"Y-you know….for…._sex_…."

Crane felt his jaw unhinge from his skull as he replayed the words over and over in his mind. He gaped openly at the female master, who began to turn so red, even her fur itself seemed to change color.

***

* * *

The trek back down to the Jade Palace was nerve-wracking for Crane. The offhanded comment from Mei Ling had sent shivers up his spine and now, he was back to being a quivering wreck.

Did she expect him to…._perform_ well? He had never been with a woman! He didn't have the slightest idea _what_ to do, let alone how to do it well. In kung fu, he was reasonably adept; it did take him a few tries to get a move right but he would often master it by himself, with very little instruction. He wasn't a prodigy like Tigress, or needed 'unique' training like Po, but he was all right.

But no, this was his _first_ time; with a girl he had known since they were but younglings. It couldn't be just _all right. _It needed to be _perfect._

For not the first time, he wondered if he had postponed getting a girlfriend all this time because secretly, in the back of his mind and heart, he was saving himself for her.

_Yeah, right, 'cause girls were just throwing themselves all over you, weren't they? Had to fight them off with a stick, haven't you?_

The distressing thought sent his stomach churning; out of the Five, he was decidedly the one who invoked the least…._primal_ of responses from the public. He got praise for his skill and his intelligence, but never for his looks or physique.

_Getting a bit greedy, aren't we? What, the admiration of the entire population of China not enough for you?_

No, it wasn't that, he meekly protested in his head. It was because….it was _her_. Every time he was praised for a mission well done or a technique he pulled off successfully, he would remember the way she beamed at him when he completed the obstacle course, back then in Li Dai.

Back in the days when he was a traveling warrior/painter, people had bowed to him, in gratitude and admiration, for helping them. Some fell to ground, willing to kiss his talons. He was extremely humbled by these exhibitions, of course, protesting gently but firmly whenever it happened.

But her smile…._gods_, her smile.

He felt guilty and selfish, but he wished sometimes that he could have captured that one moment in time in a bottle and re-lived it over and over. Even in the most hopeless situations and most arduous of battles, he closed his eyes and looked to that that moment for sustenance. It had never failed him, not once.

"Er, Jien?" came the familiar voice, curiosity in her voice.

He nearly choked on his spit, before looking at her nervously "Wha—huh?"

"I really want to thank you, you know?"

He gave her an awkward grin, directing his eyes on the dirt path as they continued to walk down to the Jade Palace. "What for?"

Mei Ling gave a small shrug, hugging her arms for comfort. "Oh, you know; great food, nice conversation. And um…thanks for listening to me. I haven't really talked about that incident in a long time."

"You're welcome," he replied, thankful that he had kept the stutter from his voice.

An awkward silence ensued for a few moments.

The feline cleared her throat lightly. "So, uh, where are the others? I heard they were going on a mission of some sort?"

Crane gave a little chuckle. "Yeah, they went to Biànliáng; some Navy officers needed their help there. The captain, some guy named Jiāo Jīn, said I didn't need to go."

"Well, that's good," Mei Ling said, sighing a bit.

"Er, what do you mean?" said Crane with a light grin.

"I heard the Captain is like an aerial combat genius or something. I'm sure he and the others can handle it," she said offhandedly.

For reasons unknown to himself, the grin on Crane's beak faded ever so slightly. When he had read the letter, he remembered feeling bemused and even a little curious as to the true nature of the Captain's fighting ability. He never felt angry or irritated.

The same exact statement coming from Mei Ling's lips and in her voice, however, had a decidedly different effect.

He could handle himself in battle. He had shown it time and again, from his days as a lone warrior to his current status as a member of the Furious Five.

Did she doubt his abilities? If that was the case, he didn't feel angry or insulted; he felt _miserable_.

He had thought that he had finally shown himself as a capable warrior in her eyes, back when he had vindicated her recommendation to the senior warriors in Li Dai. He had thought that news of his exploits as a traveling avenger of wrongs in the country and now, as a member of the most elite fighting force in the whole of China, would have been the key to finally be worthy of her.

"Jien?" Mei Ling asked worriedly, having noticed the downtrodden look that appeared on her friend's features.

"Yes?" he said, quickly replacing the smile on his face.

"I….I don't think that came out right…." said the female master, not meeting his eyes. She was picking nervously at the hem of her robes as they finally arrived back to the Jade Palace complex.

Crane began to open his mouth to re-assure her that everything was fine; he would just have to try even harder, get even stronger. It was worth it, for her smile.

"Crane?! CRANE! Buddy!" someone yelled, the familiar voice echoing in the deserted sparring grounds.

The avian master, as well as the female mountain cat, looked to the source of the call, having quietly decided to settle the matter another time.

Crane felt the wind knocked out of him as a tiny but immensely powerful object managed to successfully tackle him to the ground. His mind spinning a bit, he opened his eyes and was met by two familiar, manic looking orbs.

"Mantis? What's going on? When did you get back?"

"Dude, we're in a bit of a pickle…" the insect began as he nervously wrung his pincers, still fidgeting nervously as he stood on Crane's chest. The bird quickly sprang up and dusted himself off, watching as his minute comrade hopped off at the same time and began pacing on the soil.

"Okay, Mantis, calm down. Tell me what's going on," he began calmly. Thankfully, the insect took heed and after taking a deep breath, regarded him seriously.

"So? How was the date? You got my notes?"

"Notes?" Mei Ling asked curiously, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Crane made frantic gestures for the insect to be quiet before looking at Mei Ling, who gave a pleasant wave to the green colored master.

"Mantis, focus. Where are the others? What happened in Biànliáng?"

The insect suddenly became serious. "Yeah, we went there to help the Navy. Apparently some bandits were trading some illegal shit there to some foreigners. Weapons, drugs, even people. Man, you name it, they traded it."

Mei Ling regarded the insect with a solemn look. "Was anyone hurt? Did you manage to stop them?"

"Yeah, but I'll get to that in a second." replied Mantis, looking curiously happy about something. "We set a trap for the bandits, right in their own field. They went to some abandoned weed patch somewhere, to trade with some warlord from the northern mountains. We hid in the weeds, along with some of the Navy soldiers. It seemed like the bandits were trading the _field_ itself."

"Say what?"

"Yeah, I know, apparently they were growing something really important there and it was one of their best-sellers. I think it was the weeds; there was a _ton_ of them there, man. From what we heard while we were hiding, they're the only ones that grow that particular plant here in China.

"Anyways, we waited a while and then we sprang to action. There was about twenty, maybe thirty of the bandits, plus the warlord's own group. There was about fifteen of us, including the Captain. Man, that dude was one of the cockiest, most arrogant bastards I've ever met in my life! I mean, sure, I guess he was pretty good and he did some fancy-schmancy flying shit but come on, that shit ain't gonna win you any battles! He was all _'a chain is only as strong as its weakest link' _or some bullshit like that…"

"Mantis, focus! Was anyone hurt?"

"Man, dude, relax! You'll have plenty of time to cavort around with Mei Ling later."

"I w-wasn't…I mean….."

"Yeah, sure. Anyways, yeah, we fought them and we won! We freed the people they were holding hostage as slaves, he found their hidden weapons stash. We turned most of the bandits over to the Navy. Everybody's happy. The end.

"So _what's_ the problem?" Crane asked sharply, his patience wearing thin.

Mantis regarded him with a glazed look in his eyes, seemingly struggling to remember what he had just said a few moments ago. After a few moments, both of his antennae frizzed up, as if hit by a sudden thought.

"Oh, yeah! Well, before we went, some of the guys thought it would be a good idea to _burn_ the weed field. You know, 'new beginning' symbolization type shit. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…."

"And what?" Mei Ling pressed on, anxious to know the problem.

"…aaaand well, the smoke from the weeds? It did….._something_. I don't know what, but it did something."

"What do you mean by 'something?'" the tall bird asked, bewildered by his friend's 'stranger-than-usual' behavior.

"I think you'd better come with me," replied Mantis morosely.

***

* * *

"Dude, you know what I think? I think someday, they're gonna show shows about kung-fu."

"Shows? Like in the theater or something?"

"No, I mean, like shows, like shadow puppets. Except instead of puppets, they're going to use _real people_ man! But, like, pictures of real people! And the pictures, they're going to move so fast, it's like it's the people that are actually _moving_! But they're not! Because they're _pictures_!"

In the Hall of Warriors, Crane and Mei Ling gaped at the ludicrous conversation they had just beheld. Viper and Tigress seemed completely engrossed in the nonsensical topic they were currently engaged in and didn't pay any attention to their flabbergasted audience.

Tigress was sitting on the floor, her usual steely amber orbs hazy and unfocused. She kept smacking her lips after every sentence, something she took notice of verbally every time she did, as if forgetting she had done so before. Her legs were crossed underneath her, with her paws clasped around her folded shins, rocking back and forth.

Viper was wearing her head ornaments around her neck as she swayed to and fro, as if listening to an imaginary tune. She had the same dazed expression as the striped feline, giggling sporadically.

"When did this happen?" Mei Ling asked, eyes wide. She looked inquiringly at Crane, then at Mantis. The latter shrugged, moving closer to his teammates.

"Hmmm, 'bout few seconds after we started to burn the field. Man, those weeds burned for _hours_! We made our way back home a little after that."

"What time specifically?" asked Crane, feeling this was something he had to know.

"About an hour after lunch; why?" Mantis asked simply.

Crane continued to gape at the giggling females before fixing Mantis with a stern glare "That would mean you should have been back about _four hours_ ago! I'm not complaining—(he glanced sideways at Mei Ling)—but, what happened?"

Mantis let out a small mirthless chuckle. "Well, Tigress kinda figured out what was wrong with us after a few minutes. She was still thinking clearly back then, but she decided it would be a good idea to 'buy some time' and circle the Valley of Peace _a hundred friggin' times!_

"Er, why?" asked Mei Ling, letting morbid curiosity overtake her.

"She kinda forgot that Shifu was called away and she was terrified that he'd _somehow_ find out that she's, you know, stoned out of her mind," said Mantis, watching as Tigress held a paw in front of her face and giggled happily.

The insect sighed deeply again. "The only problem was, she _forgot_ why we were doing the laps in the first place! Yeah, after about the fiftieth lap, she just kept going, 'cuz you know, she figured we were doing it for a _real good reason_."

He said the last words with so much venom, even Crane flinched.

"Finally, she remembered that Shifu had been called away, decided to stop on an even hundred laps and we made our way back here. And here we are."

"Okay," said Crane, not at all regretting being left behind. "Where's Monkey and Po?"

Mantis' eyes widened. He started scurrying about, looking for the two missing members before returning in front of Crane and Mei Ling.

"I just….I left them here a while ago! Where the hell…."

Crane and Mei Ling frantically joined in on the searching; how exactly did one lose a three-hundred pound panda and a ninety-pound langur?

"**I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!!"**

All three searching parties froze at the echoing declaration coming from the roof top of the Jade Palace. Crane quickly spun his head and looked up, as did Mei Ling and Mantis.

Silhouetted by the full moon, a rather large figure stood precariously on the roof of the Hall of Warriors, the highest point of the Jade Palace. The arms of the figure were held up, as if celebrating some sort of victory, and it wobbled dangerously close to the edge.

"I am a…..**GOLDEN GOD!!!"**

Crane felt his heart drumming heavily in his chest. "Shit! _Po_, stay right there! Don't move!"

From the distance, he could see the bear nod slightly. "Dude, you can tell the scholars and scribes that my last words…..were……"

A beat of silence.

"…..I'm on _drugs_!" he yelled triumphantly preparing to jump.

"Yay!" Viper and Tigress chorused beside Mei Ling, who was keeping a close watch on them. The female mountain cat tensed, ready to move should the situation call for it. She glanced sideways at Crane who met her gaze.

He shook his head quickly. _No sudden movements. It could set him off._

Mei Ling gave a nod and stood her ground.

The avian master's mind started to whirl quickly; he could reach Po and try to carry him down on his own. But the distance between him and the bear would make no margin for error, adding to the fact that the adrenaline-fueled strength he once used in the battle with Tai Lung could not be factored in, in this situation at least.

Crane decided to buy some time, trying to make conversation as he gathered some vine and strips of bamboo from the natural foliage surrounding them. "Po, maybe we should work on those last words!"

The rotund warrior made a grunt that sounded sort of like he agreed with the suggestion. He plopped down on the roof, legs dangling. He tapped his head with one paw for a few minutes, the other crossed over his chest.

"Hmmm…..think, think, think……." he muttered quietly, as Crane, Mei Ling and Mantis hurriedly worked on a vine cord.

After a few minutes, Po stood up again. "Okay….okay……I got it…..I got it…….I got it……this one's better……"

Crane began to work faster, instructing Mei Ling and Mantis to hold the makeshift rope taut as he braided the vine and bamboo together at a frantic pace.

"…..I dig kung fu," came the statement from Po, holding his arms aloft once again. He got a few scattered claps from Tigress.

Po grinned wickedly, raising his arms higher than before. "I'm on _**drugs**_!"

"Yay!" came the unanimous response from Viper and Tigress.

Checking his handiwork rapidly, Crane took one end of the vine rope he had made and started measuring the trajectory and wind speed as he prepared to take flight.

"Jien…"

He would most likely need to fly straight up, and then use gravity to be able to achieve the speed he needed at such a distance.

"_Jien_…."

He hoped the vine cord would hold the weight of the bear. Had he used rope, the bear could still be gravely injured since the rope held little to no elasticity. A dislocated leg would be very bad indeed….

"_Crane!_"

Dazedly registering the voice calling him, he turned to the source. Two amber orbs stared back at him, pride and a small hint of sadness welling in them.

He felt his heart skip a beat again as Mei Ling drew closer to him and gave the corner of his beak a quick peck.

"Good luck."

Confidence and courage surged into the feathered master's being, much like the fateful day in Li Dai, except amplified a million times. With speed that matched even Master Mantis, he flew off like a bolt of lightning just as the Dragon Warrior prepared to jump off the roof with a yell of triumph.

Crane landed on the roof silently, despite the speed of his flight. He snuck up quietly behind the panda and tied the cord around his leg securely.

"Here we goooo_ooooo_……"

Crane listened in horror as he heard Po's voice echoing farther and farther away, meaning he had jumped. Grasping the cord at the end of one talon, he quickly wrapped it around one of the pointed corners of the roof, using it as a pulley.

He felt the vine cord go taut as the bear's rather massive weight bore down on its length. His talons skidded lightly through the tiles of the rooftop as he used every ounce of his strength as to lower the dazed Dragon Warrior safely to the ground. He watched from what was now his perch on the rooftop as Mei Ling and Mantis gathered around Po, who looked confused as to what happened, but was otherwise alright.

From down below, he saw Mei Ling give him a thumbs up which he responded to with an awkward wave.

"Good show old chap! A very impressive display of your tactical prowess if I do say so myself," said an oddly familiar voice from beside Crane. The tall bird quickly whirled around to see Monkey lounging on the roof, having escaped their notice. He held the same vapid expression that was present on the other four master's faces as he gazed at the sky.

"Yes sir! That was quite the spectacle, old boy!"

Crane raised an eyebrow at the unusually eloquent speech that came from his normally silent brother in arms. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Talking like what, if I may so inquire?"

Crane shook his head lightly; whatever that weed did, it apparently varied from person to person. He watched as the simian languidly met his gaze before smiling faintly and going back to gazing at the sky.

The avian peered down below, watching as Mei Ling looked over at Po's prone form.

"Hey, pretty…._pretty_…." said the bear softly as the mountain cat knelt down to examine him. She had been holding her fingers up for him to count when Mantis decided to check up on Po as well.

"Hey buddy, how you doin'?"

"Ahhhhh! _Not_ pretty! _Ugly_!" Po wailed, to which Mantis responded with a nonplussed look.

***

* * *

Crane let out a long relaxed sigh as he soaked in the warm water of the hot spring. Although rarely used, the open air bath house was, in his personal opinion at least, a genius idea of Master Oogway's. He and the other members of the Furious Five requested permission to build it when they were all still in their teens and the old turtle had agreed rather passionately. He remembered a few years ago, digging the springs with a shovel along with Monkey, while Mantis and Tigress laid down bricks and tiles. Viper opted to provide ambient decorations for the place, well-placed lanterns and towel racks being her handiwork. There was even an actual entrance with two doors, one leading to the women's side and the other to the men's side.

It was one of his rare indulgences to come every so often to this place and just relax and unwind. More than once, after a particularly stressful day, he would duck his head under the hot water and scream his head off.

The fiasco earlier that night had driven him to belt out his most anguished wail in the safety of the hot spring, leaving his throat a bit hoarse now.

His date had been going well.

Surprisingly, admiringly well, made possible by the undeniable help from Mantis and Monkey.

He and Mei Ling talked like old times, almost as if they never parted ways and lived in their own worlds for almost ten years.

It was almost like things hadn't changed.

But they _had_ changed. Yes, she was still Mei Ling; the sweet, kind-hearted girl he had fallen for all those years ago. Her smile, the smile that kept him going, was still there.

There were other things though; the full, unwavering trust those eyes held had been tempered. The infectious optimism that was ever present in her aura had been dimmed somewhat.

She had changed, but so had he. He had tried so hard to hold on to his innocence, guarded it jealously like a treasure never again to be replaced or rebuilt. Despite being the eldest of the Five, he had been the last to kill.

He had told part of his story to Mei Ling, but he coated it in jest and sugar, sharing it as a humorous anecdote. The barbarian had tried to kill him, blazing rage in his eyes as he lifted the morning-star and brought it down on his feathered skull.

Crane liked to believe that the rest was a blur; that he didn't remember. But no, every time he had the dreams, they had been as clear as day. He screamed from the blinding pain and panic, flapping his wings as he tried to escape from the enraged boar. He could still feel the heavy hands wrapping around his neck, squeezing his life from him.

He could still hear the piercing scream of agony from the boar as he reached up with his talon and tore one of his assailant's eyes out.

As painful as ever was the fire raging in his lungs as he tried to breathe, after taking the thug's own barbaric weapon and bringing it down on his face multiple times. The crackling sounds of the metal hitting the bone still rang loud and clear, long after he would wake up panting and crying, biting his tongue so as not to alert his housemates.

He had been horrified that day. He had been driven to kill, not out of heroic necessity or some twisted sense of justice.

He killed that man, because he had been _afraid_ to die. It was weeks before he could eat, yet he did not forsake his training, feeling the need to punish himself. He had even gone into town and lit a stick of incense for the man, though he did not know of his name.

One day, Master Oogway had taken notice of his self-imposed punishment and took him aside to talk.

* * *

"_What I did was wrong, Master," he had whispered quietly, not daring to look up at Oogway._

_The old tortoise simply placed a hand on his trembling shoulder, smiling lightly._

"_My young friend, right and wrong is such a wide term to describe what it is that goes on in this world."_

"_W-what do you mean, Master?"_

"_Sometimes, there is only what _is_, and what _isn't._ You made your choice, as he made his, and that is that. You believed you were _right_ in taking his life..."_

"_N-no, I didn't mean to…"_

"_Yes, my friend, but only after you had committed the deed did you realize this. At the precise moment, you believed your actions were right, as he himself also believed in the validity of his decisions."_

"_So, now what do I do?"_

"_Continue to live, continue to believe. Make a choice and tand up for what you believe in; often, what you believe in will stand up for you."

* * *

_

Crane ducked his head under the warm spring again, feeling as if the heat was cleansing his mind. He rarely let himself get lost in his thoughts like this, preferring to move forward; after all today was a gift, as Master Oogway liked to say.

"Crane? Are you there?" said a soft female voice.

The feathered master let out a small squawk of surprise, sending rivulets of water flying every which way as he lowered himself further into the bath.

"M-mei Ling?! W-where…"

"I'm on the other side. I had a feeling you were there," came the mountain cat's voice again from the other side of the bamboo fence that separated the women's side of the bath from the men's.

Crane let out a sigh of relief, composing himself. Still, he made sure to check that his trousers and hat were still where he had left them a while ago, on the wooden benches beside the spring. He let out a quick breath, spotting the familiar indigo material of his pants a few feet away.

Feeling a bit more at ease, he moved closer to the bamboo wall, leaning against it and letting his gaze run over the night sky.

He heard some slight sloshing of the water from the other side before hearing a light thump from the wall. "Everybody's okay, in case you were wondering."

Judging from the sounds, Mei Ling had taken a place nearer the wall as well to better talk to him.

"Really? That's good to hear. Hope they weren't too much trouble."

"No, not at all. They did develop quite the appetite though." came the reply from the female master, accompanied by a few sounds of water being moved around.

"Yeah, Mantis said that was one of the effects of inhaling the smoke from the plant."

More sloshing sounds came from the women's side. "Yeah, he seems to know quite a bit. Speaking of which, why do you think Mantis wasn't as affected as the others?"

Crane gave a short laugh. "About that; he's apparently already had some experience with the plant. He said that some healers and physicians actually use that plant to help some people deal with painful conditions."

Mei Ling's voice sounded slightly strained from her side of the fence. "Oh. Good to know."

A few moments of silence ensued as Crane created small waves on the hot water with his wings.

"Mei Ling, I'm sorry," he finally said, hoping she could hear through the barrier.

He heard the feline master sigh heavily. "If anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I realize what I said after dinner and it was totally out of line. I didn't mean…."

"No, no, it's alright. I'm all right, I just overreacted and I took it the wrong way. I shouldn't have acted like that…."

Crane heard another series of sloshes as Mei Ling shifted her position from the other side of the fence. Her voice rang much clearer through the barrier now, almost as clear as if she was right beside him.

"I just—I don't wanna lose you," she said quietly.

The bird felt his breath hitch in his throat. He opened his beak to respond but found that no sounds were coming out.

"I—I've _changed_," continued Mei Ling. "I didn't want to; I wanted to be what you remembered from back in those days, but I did. I know one thing that's never changed though, and that's that I still _care_ about you. I know you've changed too, Crane, but I'm hoping not too much….."

For a moment, Crane wondered if Mei Ling knew of the real story behind the scar on his head, but quickly reminded himself that she couldn't possibly have.

"I know that you're more than capable of handling yourself in a fight; I know that you have more battle experience than most of the Emperor's lieutenants; I know that you're one of the best warriors for miles in any direction," said Mei Ling, her voice growing softer. "It's just that, I still remember you from way back then. It's just that—you're still so familiar, it's so easy forget all that."

"In a weird way, I kind of want you to. Forget, I mean," responded Crane, feeling foolish for thinking that Mei Ling ever _meant_ to hurt his feelings in any way.

"Crane? What are you…."

He chuckled a bit. "It's weird when you call me that. When I'm with you, sometimes I also forget. Honestly, I feel like I never want to remember anymore."

"I feel the same when I'm with you…._Jien_," she said, a smile in her voice.

They were silent for a few moments, letting each other's words sink in.

"Jien?"

"Yeah?"

"I—I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Let's go to the top of the fence. I'll tell you there."

Crane felt his mind go blank. She wanted to tell him something; and it required that they talk face to face? Well, it would be kind of awkward to say the least since they weren't wearing….

His face went pale under his feathers. He had been avoiding thinking about it for the past few minutes, ever since he had heard the damned sloshing water from the other side.

"Er, Mei Ling?" he called out nervously, his voice cracking.

"Hmm?"

"Are you….uh….that is…..to say…..er…..are you, by _any_ chance……urm….." he sputtered, feeling his face grow red. He sank further into the bath again, crossing his wings over himself.

Mei Ling couldn't see through bamboo fences. He was pretty sure.

"Jien? What are you trying to say?"

"Er…." he gulped nervously. "Are you…..y'know….._wearing_ anything?"

"_Oh_! Erm….well…." squeaked Mei Ling, sounding quite flustered. He heard her sink into the bath as well.

Another awkward silence ensued.

"Maybe…..maybe we should meet outside? I'll, er, go get dressed…." began Crane, slowly making his way to his clothing.

"Wait! H-how 'bout…..we meet _now_?"

The avian let out another surprised squawk, diving back into the water with a splash. He had nearly reached his clothing when he panicked and ended right back in the water. He kept his wings crossed over himself, as he examined the bamboo wall.

It was solid, he was sure of it.

"Jien? H-how 'bout it?" came the mountain cat's voice, sounding a bit flustered.

"B-but, Mei Ling…..I'm….er, you know…..and _you're_…..er…..are you?"

"W-well, I don't think I can take a proper bath with my clothes _on_, now c-could I?" she replied jokingly, attempting to lighten the situation.

Despite this, she kept one arm crossed over her chest and clamped another paw between her legs.

She knew Jien couldn't see through walls, but just in case…..

She groaned internally; she had been the one to make the suggestion to meet at the top of the barrier, and now she was the one who was chickening out.

Gritting her teeth, she made her way to the fence.

"Okay, on _'three'_, I _will_ be climbing this fence, Jien! Meet me up top; I—I have to say something important….."

Crane felt the heat spreading from his face and into his entire body. Well, this was it; whatever was going to happen tonight, it was going to happen.

"One…..two……_three_!"

Steeling himself, he began to flap his wings. He started to rise from the water, a few beads of water sliding off his plumage. He had not bothered with a towel but he pushed back this thought with all his might straight to the back of his head.

He could hear soft clacks of claws against the fence as the female master steadily but surely made her way up on her side of the fence to meet him.

The fence was only about ten feet tall, and so in a few seconds time, he was but two feet from seeing Mei Ling….

"Hey Crane! How's it hangin'?"

He screamed as he fell like a sack of hammers, straight back into the spring, swallowing what he was sure was at least a gallon of water. The hot spring water also made its way into his nasal passages threatening to drown him. From the few seconds of free fall, he also heard Mei Ling gasp in surprise as she also fell in the water with a loud splash.

"M-mantis?! What the hell?!" he said in between coughs as he re-surfaced. His fixed the angriest look he could on the green insect.

On his part, Mantis looked absolutely unaware of what he had just interrupted. He carried his own miniature towel with him as he jumped in the hot spring with a small splash. He squirted a small jet of water from his mouth as he swam around lazily.

"Hey buddy! What's with the glare?" he said, floating around on his back.

Crane only responded with an eye twitch.

"Heard you an' Mei Ling talking. She still here? Oi, Mei Ling! You there?" Mantis called dazedly, the lingering effects of the weed still quite apparent.

"H-hi, Master Mantis! J-just taking a bath…nothing more, nothing less……" squeaked Mei Ling from the other side.

Crane fixed the minute master with an irritated glare. "You were listening?! For how long?!"

"Relax man. I couldn't hear nothing you were talking about. I just figured that since you like to chill here from time to time and that since two of our girls are currently down with the munchies, I figured it was you an' Mei Ling."

Crane gaped at his….well, _'friend'_ would be pushing it now, wouldn't it? He had just interrupted what would've been a life-changing experience for him!

"G-guys? Er, I'm going to….go now, okay? Um, yeah….so…..bye…" Mei Ling called from the other side, sounding very embarrassed.

Mantis' antennae pricked at the sound of light splashing, a few speedy footsteps and the sound of rustling clothing. After a while, there was silence.

The green master looked at his silently seething friend.

"So buddy, what about those details we talked about, eh?"

Crane groaned, sinking until only his head remained above the water. He fixed Mantis with a glare.

"Shut the door," he said blankly.

Mantis immediately complied, jumping out of the water and closing the wooden entrance with a resounding slam. He quickly scurried back into the pool and looked eagerly at Crane.

The avian fixed him with the angriest glare he could manage. "You're on the wrong side of it!"

Mantis opened his mouth, looking quite incredulous.

"Dude, how can you be so selfish? You _know_ I live vicariously through you!"

* * *

Crane watched idly as the random character slowly took shape on his parchment, his ink brush gliding effortlessly over the page. He had been feeling a tiny bit melancholy that morning as he knew that in a few moments, she would be gone again.

"Crane? You okay in there?"

The tall bird looked up from his project to see the face of Tigress. She had opened his door just enough to allow her head to get through, a small hint of concern gracing her features.

"You know, she'll be leaving in a while." the striped cat stated matter of factly, as she entered the room.

"Yes, I know."

"So…what the hell are you doing here? We're all waiting outside in the courtyard to see her off."

The bird didn't respond, though his brush had stopped moving. His eyes were cast downwards, suddenly very interested in the pattern of the straw mat on his floor.

He sighed heavily after a few moments. "Tigress, I don't know what to do. Something happened last night…."

The feline cringed at the reminder of the incident, but said nothing. She crossed her arms, nodding for him to continue.

"…and—and now suddenly, _everything's_ different! But I don't want them to be; I don't want things to change….and now, she's leaving again! What if the next time she comes back, I become so different, that she doesn't recognize me anymore?"

The female master coughed lightly, uncrossing her arms and putting them in her pockets.

"Look, I really don't have much experience with this sort of thing _but_....you said that you didn't want things to change between you and her. Are you _sure _about that?"

"H-huh? W-what do you mean?"

She looked up to meet his eyes with a stern gaze. "You talk about _'change'_ like you don't have a choice in it. Thing is, we're not just passive pawns, following its every whim!"

Crane looked at his comrade and leader, amazed.

"You can't just sit around waiting for change to happen; sometimes, you have to take the initiative. Make 'change' work for you. It's your choice, always has been, always will be."

The bird gaped widely at the words from Tigress. Since when did she become so wise?

She seemed to read his mind as a corner of her lips turned up. "You're not the only one who hung out with Master Oogway."

Crane smiled. "You went to him for love advice?"

While he had meant this as a joke, he was surprised to see a blush forming on the leader of the Five's face.

She quickly regained her composure however. "J-just get your ass out there! On the _double_!"

"Yessir! Er, ma'am! _Sir!_"

* * *

He tucked his wings further into his body, speeding through the air. In a moment of spontaneity, he had jumped out a nearby window and took flight, feeling the wind whipping his feathers. He circled the other dormitories and the sparring court yard, before finally seeing the long staircase coming into his view. Squinting, he could make out a green clad figure, making its way to the steps.

He swooped in, adjusted his wings so he could right himself in the air, before landing gracefully in front of Mei Ling.

"Jien!" said the mountain cat, smiling as she looked at him. She was carrying a large backpack with her trusty fighting staff sheathed among the belongings. The usual green vest was once again in place

"Hey Mei Ling. Um…where are the others?"

He scanned for his teammates but saw that they were quite alone.

"They already saw me off, in the Hall Of Warriors. Tigress said to take the stairs. She told me that 'something' just might surprise when I get here." she replied with a chuckle.

"O-oh, she did? Well, that's….er…..I, uh, didn't get you anything…."

"Naw, that's fine! It was great just spending time here with you." said Mei Ling softly, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

"Yeah, it was great having you here Mei Ling."

"Y-yeah." she said, unsure of what to say next. "Er, I'll write you, okay? I mean, that's what friends do, right?"

Crane gave a small nod, his talons digging into the soil. It was now or never.

"Mei Ling, I don't wanna be friends anymore."

The change in the female mountain cat's face was instantaneous. The jovial look in her features was replaced by a look of horror which morphed into disbelief and sadness.

"B-but…Jien, what did I do?!"

"We're just too different now Mei Ling. I'm not who you remember and you're not who I remember anymore. I'm ready for a change."

The feline could only stare in shock as tears began to well up in her eyes. She turned quickly, intending to get away from the Jade Palace as fast as possible. Before she could start walking however, she felt a wing turn her around again.

"Wu Mei Ling, will you be my girlfriend?" said Crane, removing his wide brimmed hat, looking at her expectantly.

"H-huh? But—but you just said, w-we're too different now….."

"I didn't say _'from each other'_. I know there's going to be a lot more things that are going to change in this country and in the world. And I want us to face them together."

Mei Ling began to sniffle, the unshed tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Despite this, she wore the widest and happiest grin he had ever seen on her.

"_Yes_, of course! A thousand times yes!" she cried, enveloping him in a tight hug before giving him the deepest, most searing kiss he could ever imagine on his beak. He returned the hug, enveloping her with his wings and returned the kiss carefully with his beak.

As Crane felt the warmth of his friend….no, girlfriend's lips over his own, he decided that change wasn't so bad. After all, it was the person's choice that made the change happen, and right now, he knew he made the right choice.

* * *

"That's our boy!" whispered Mantis from the bushes, as he, Po and the rest of the Five watched.

"Aw, isn't it romantic?" Viper gushed.

Everyone approved in unison before deciding to leave the two alone.

"Hey guys, I managed to save some of that groovy plant from Biànliáng!" Mantis said, grinning wickedly as held a small wicker container in his pincers. "Who wants in?"

There was a chorus of "No!" that greeted him.

Unperturbed, he pressed on. "I hear Master Oogway would put some of this stuff in his tea sometimes…."

Silence ensued as the others digested this little bit of information.

Tigress finally voiced her thoughts. "That actually kind of makes sense."

END

* * *

_A/N part 2: A few notes; for those wondering about the legend behind the Pool Of Sacred tears, I actually invented it along with my roommate while we were celebrating 4/20 with some of her 'special brownies' ^_^ I guess that also explains where I went with the second fic, eh? _

_Bao Gong is a famous Chinese historical figure, a legend in that he personifies justice. The case with the peasant who had killed his wife is one of his most famous cases._

_Captain __Jiāo Jīn__'s name literally means 'boastful'; hopefully, he'll make some more appearances in future stories. I believe I might've unconsciously based him on OCs from nievelion's and Luna Goldsun's excellent stories, so again, read those if you still haven't 8- ) I actually was influenced on nievelion's take on Mei Ling and the mentor-student relationship between Oogway and Crane._

_Finally, I make several references to some movies and TV shows here, such as 30 Rock, Almost Famous, Chuck and a bit more subtly, That '70's Show. See if you can find them all and if you do, please put them in your reviews __J__ So uh, yeah, read and tell me what you think guys! _

_Peace_

_-Peter_


	9. Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting!

_A/N: Yep, new chapter here guys XD This one's been hanging around my head for a while now, so I hope it turned out as good as I imagined._

_Special thanks to **nievelion** for beta-ing this chapter! On to the fic!

* * *

_

"_No, you don__'__t belong in the __Jade Palace.__ You__'__re a disgrace to kung fu and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning."_

Tigress cringed in her seat as she heard the all too familiar words, with her own ears this time, the vitriol and contempt captured perfectly in the moment.

"_Furthermore, you are overweight, out of shape and a waste of perfectly good air."_

The feline sighed deeply as she heard the words again, the memory stinging clear as – wait, _what?_

She did _not_ remember ever saying those words out loud. Sure, she certainly thought them once or twice when she thought of Po as nothing more than a freeloading kung-fu wannabe, but she had never shared her sentiments with anyone else!

She felt her organs calcify as the verbal abuse continued. A few rows behind her, the audience began to titter and chatter in hushed volumes, obviously struck by the cruel words coming from...well, _her_.

Or at least it was supposed to be her. The actress on stage did bear a striking resemblance to herself, capturing most of her mannerisms and speech patterns nigh flawlessly, completing the illusion. While the audience obviously enjoyed it, the uncanny similarity just made it so it was like she was looking into a mirror and watching herself be all judgmental and cold.

"_Not only that, you stole the love of my master, Shifu...."_

The female tiger could feel her ears start ringing. The verbal lashing had gone on for a good while now, almost a full ten minutes longer than the original four to five seconds.

She began to stand up from her seat. "I _didn't_ say that!"

"Shhh!" came the whisper from the audience, obviously enthralled at the spectacle as the actor playing Po wept openly by a rather accurate replica of the Sacred Peach Tree.

Before she could protest further, she felt a small tug at her tail, forcing her to sit back down. She turned her head to face Po, who, judging from his nonplussed expression, obviously did not appreciate being depicted as a blubbering cry baby.

"Don't worry about it. The set does look nice doesn't it?" said the panda, his ever jovial personality shining through his annoyance.

Tigress only gave a small nod and crossed her arms as she continued to watch the play. She had to admit that the panda had a point; the picturesque landscape of the mountains surrounding the Jade Palace had been faithfully reproduced, giving the stage an almost dream-like environment.

"I didn't say any of that. You know that, right?" she tried again, and almost immediately regretted it.

_Of course_ he knew. He was _there _when it happened – the 'chewee' in the chewing out, her being the 'chewer'.

Po just gave a small nod, continuing to munch on his bag of lightly seasoned crispy wonton skins.

The latest adventure of the Furious Five had been the talk of China a few months ago when it happened. Not to mention, the newly minted Dragon Warrior going against all odds and proving himself in the face of one the greatest battles ever recorded in recent history. For a time, scholars and scribes, bards and poets made their way to the Valley of Peace, eager to break bread with the famous warriors they had heard so much about.

More than once, an aspiring poet eager to build his reputation would travel to the Jade Palace and ask them all sorts of questions. While she had never gotten used to the attention and praise lavished upon her and her comrades for their adventures, on which they performed good deeds along the way, she had developed a rather thick hide for the various inaccurate re-tellings of said exploits.

More than once, she would hear some outlandish rumour regarding her and/or her comrades, surprised that some people actually bought into them as fact. While some actual truths occasionally made it through the strainers (the fact that red was her favourite colour, that Crane enjoyed calligraphy and fishing in his spare time, that Monkey had accumulated the most number of injuries along the years, among other things), most of the lot pushed the limits of sense (that she and Master Shifu, or Crane, or Monkey, or Mantis, or even _Viper_ were romantically involved – speaking of which, why was _her_ love life always the focus of such attention anyway?).

Because of this, whenever poets, bards or anyone involved in the literary arts approached them, the Furious Five would take their time regarding the details – not out of fear of being portrayed unflatteringly, but more for the sake of the people who would readily accept whatever they heard, embellishments (_lies_) or otherwise.

She cursed under her breath as the play continued, this time showing a sparring sequence between herself and Po that never happened in real life – Master Shifu, despite his opinion of the panda at the time, explicitly forbade her to assault him in anyway, likely fearing that she might have very well killed him.

Crossing her arms again, she remembered hearing from Mr. Ping that the day after Po had firmly established his prowess as a warrior, a famous scribe had come to the Jade Palace eager to talk to the five most famous heroes in China. Unfortunately, it happened that each and every occupant of the Palace that was directly involved with the battle spent some much needed time recuperating from the incident – she herself found her every joint and muscle aching that morning, and consequently spent most of the day resting in her room.

The scribe, who she later found was rather famous for working with a popular acting troupe, left – unable to talk to them, but apparently not disappointed.

It would seem that he had gotten all he needed from the servants around the Palace and the residents of the Valley of Peace.

When news of a recently released play reached the Valley, it didn't trouble her in the slightest. After all, she had watched more than her fair share of theatrical productions about her and her comrades. She had gotten used to watching the presentations with a bemused eye, never batting an eyelash whenever a fact had been added or glossed over.

Sure, in her youth, she would blush and fidget and stare at the ground when she attended the shows – she and the others were always made to attend such events when possible, as the productions were made in their honour, after all.

As time went by however, she had gotten used to it; they all had.

What difference did it make if they believed she could jump a hundred feet in the air straight up? Or that Mantis was completely indestructible? Or that Crane could fly and touch the moon?

"_Tai Lung is a monster __–__ a demon from the depths of hell itself! A look from his eyes could suck out your soul and render you helpless; what chance do you think you have against him?"_

The voice of her counterpart again brought Tigress back from her musings. A ripple of gasps and murmurs went through the audience.

"Hmmm, they really took liberties with this, didn't they?" whispered a soft dulcet voice from the feline's other side, sounding somewhere between amused and exasperated.

Tigress gave Viper a small smile – the serpent was in fact present during the actual conversation that was currently being portrayed onstage.

Of course, she remembered as well; Tigress, unknowingly or not, had revealed quite a bit more to the snow leopard; that he was more than the heartless beast people believed him to be. In that conversation with the panda, she had shared that he was in fact capable of love once – and capable of _being_ loved.

It was another fact that had escaped the public – something that would not change tonight.

After all, what did people care if he was a local hero once, much like her and her comrades whom they had now invited and welcomed like gods to watch the play in their quaint village?

What did it matter to them that he had once craved his Master's love and affection, like she still did?

"_I have come for the scroll, Shifu! Now ultimate power will be mine and I will be free to take over this miserable country!"_

The realization hit her like a boulder to the stomach – she had gotten used to the plays and poems and stories and songs about her because, quite frankly, no one had anything bad to say about the Furious Five, 'the greatest heroes in all of China'.

She felt the guilt start to eat away at her, as she knew that some part of her, no matter how deep she tried to bury it, enjoyed and even _craved_ the love and attention from the people – something she never got from Master Shifu, up until recently anyway.

And now, this play in particular was getting to her unlike any other because for the first time, she wasn't the hero like she usually was.

She was being portrayed, not accurately, but _essentially_ as what she had been – an ignorant _fool_.

And as strange as it sounded, she now also felt bad for the snow leopard, his admittedly less than stellar image getting worse as time went on. The good he did, the feats he accomplished were fading into obscurity and eventually into rumour.

As she watched her counterpart and Po's kiss passionately after Tai Lung's defeat (she hadn't managed to suppress a groan and a roll of her eyes), she decided she would have a nice, long talk with the proprietors of this play when the opportunity presented itself.

As the curtains closed, the audience rose into raucous applause, whistling and shrieking first towards the stage, then turning to clap at The Furious Five and Dragon Warrior seated at their special box just a few feet from the stage.

Tigress stood up, feeling oddly emotional about the whole thing – why did they applaud her, when they all knew now how heartless she was towards Po?

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!" boomed a voice from the stage. A small turtle grinned at the audience from his place on the wooden platform, an ornate walking stick in one hand and an exquisite silk cloak draped around his shoulders.

"Let's hear it for the Seven Little Fortunes!" he continued with a flourish as the members of the acting troupe filed out on the stage – each still looking very much like their real life counterparts.

With a twirl of his walking stick, he gestured towards the guests of honour.

"And let's hear it for our special guests, the Furious Five...."

The audience cheered as the five masters bowed politely towards them as well.

"....and the Dragon Warrior!" the turtle boomed, waving his walking stick towards the panda with a flourish.

The theatre erupted with cheers and claps as Po waved meekly at the audience. He received a slight elbow nudge from Tigress, who looked meaningfully at him, her fist against an open palm and held across her chest. The bear took the cue and, as if rehearsed, all six kung-fu warriors bowed to their audience, which elicited an even higher pitch of cheering and whistling.

* * *

A few dozen tents and make-shift campsites littered the small field behind the stage, illuminating the bright green grass with the yellow glow of paper lanterns and campfires.

An atmosphere of exhausted but satisfied cheer was present in the air, as various crew members and employees went about their business, a few congratulatory hand-shakes and pats on the back exchanged every so often. Several workers dragged a massive replica of the Sacred Peach Tree made of hardened paper and colorful strips of cloth to emulate the effects of nature on the leaves of real tree. A few others hauled pieces of the stage back into the waiting wagons, to be assembled at the next performance site.

"Man, that was pretty darned good!" said Mantis, eyes flitting excitedly across the scene. He was quite eager to meet the actor who had portrayed him; it was astonishing how accurately he was portrayed, if he did say so himself. Monkey and Po both nodded in approval and followed as Mantis began to explore and mingle with some of the minor cast and crewmembers

Tigress gave a small grunt of approval, a few seconds too late as Mantis disappeared from view, still obviously disconcerted at the way the play presented her, her powerful arms crossed and her face stony. Viper seemed to notice this and slithered closer to give her feline friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it; these things aren't known for being that accurate."

The female tiger uncrossed her arms and her face took on a softer expression. Her hands hung loosely by her sides and it looked to take most of her willpower not to clench them.

"I-I'm not. It's just....gods, I feel like such a hypocrite." she admitted, more to herself than anyone.

"Huh? Why?" said the serpent, genuinely curious. If there was a word to describe Tigress, it was 'honest' – she was much harder on herself than anyone else and stood by her beliefs firmly, almost to a fault.

"I'm not supposed to care...."she whispered softly, her eyes downcast.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not supposed to matter what other people think....I mean, I do care about them, but it's not supposed to get to me like this...."

Viper gave a nod of understanding, not really knowing what to say about the situation.

"And you know what's worse? I was completely fine with it when they were singing praises about me....but now..." continued Tigress, her shoulders slumping.

"Well, I, for one, don't believe that." said Crane, who had remained silent up until that moment. He had noticed how the portrayal had affected Tigress as well and now felt it necessary to offer his thoughts on the matter.

"You're not a hypocrite, Tigress. You're not perfect either – no one is. You just reacted the way anyone would and that's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, were proud of you for taking it as well as you did; anyone else would've probably walked out of there much sooner.

"So what if you care about how people think of you every now and then? It just makes you human – just the fact that you're beating yourself so hard over it already puts you a step above most people.

Tigress gave a small smile at the waterfowl's words. Viper looked quite impressed at her feathered comrade's words and turned towards the campsite.

"Come on, I wanna go meet some of the performers! I never thought I'd ever get to see the Seven Little Fortunes perform so up close!" giggled the snake as she and her companions made their way to some of the tents.

"Are they that famous? I've never heard of them before..." said Tigress, her interest now piqued as the burden was lifted off her shoulders.

"Well, six of them already performed for a long time until they got their seventh member." said Crane, reading from the small scroll that contained information on the acting troupe.

"Yeah, the guy that played Tai Lung, right?" said Viper who slithered by the bird's side.

The avian master gave a nod, his gaze never leaving the scroll. "I think we're going to have to split up, girls."

Tigress nodded in approval; a few crewmembers and stage hands had begun to follow them and started to chatter excitedly, which could no doubt lead into frenzy.

Splitting up the crowd into more manageable pieces was a battle technique she and the others employed on barbarian hordes and it worked just as well for screaming fans.

They took off in three directions, Crane flying overhead and Viper facing the crowd to stall them. Tigress quickly ducked into a tent, keeping as silent as possible, and listened for the excited voices of the people from inside the flap.

She breathed a sigh of relief as the noise began to fade away – Viper was, as usual, excellent at crowd control.

"Sweet mother of the Jade Emperor, _Master Tigress_?!" an astonished voice said from behind the feline, hushed in awe.

Tigress turned to face the owner of the voice and found herself looking at a near exact mirror image of herself, albeit much giddier and seemed to have a smile frozen on its face. She wore nearly the exact same clothing as hers, the red silk vest and black trousers matching perfectly. Her build was slightly less robust than a kung-fu warrior, but still belied lithe agility, obviously required to be able to perform the impressively choreographed fight scenes on stage night after night.

"_The_ Master Tigress! Oh my gods! It's really _you_!" the mirror image continued to chatter excitedly, wringing her hands about, looking unsure about what to do with them. After a few moments, she mimicked a signature bow from kung-fu practitioners, before quickly rising and grabbing Tigress's own hands.

"Master Tigress, this is such an honor! My name is Wei Ming and it's been an honor to play _you_!" she said happily, her initial excitement having been tempered, though only slightly.

"Er, thank you, Ming—was it? Really, you were very good." said Tigress genuinely. She meant it and had been most impressed with her stage counterpart's performance. The fact of the matter was, had Ming's portrayal of her been any less accurate, she doubted that the factual inconsistencies would've bothered her as much.

Ming ducked her head slightly, blushing quite a bit. She let go of Tigress' hands as she rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Thank you. That really means a lot, especially from you."

She gave Tigress another bright grin. "Hey let me go take my make-up off and we can talk, okay? I'll be real quick!"

The female kung-fu master smiled and gave a nod, amused at Ming's excited behaviour as the other tiger took off in a hurry. She seemed like a nice girl and much like herself, was passionate about her craft. It must have taken years of training to be able to mimic another person like that – on stage, there were no traces of the actress' apparent bubbly personality. Tigress had heard that some theatre performers could literally _become_ other people when they were performing and while she herself had done a fair bit of acting when the situation called for it (such as infiltrating a camp of mercenaries), she was certain she could never do it in Ming's, or any of the Seven Little Fortunes' calibre, for that matter.

The inside of the tent was simple but held a comforting sort of warmth. A small barrel, likely used to contain rice or ale had been made as a makeshift dresser, complete with a framed mirror. A kit of stage make-up was placed on top of it, a few scratches and dents on the red painted surface appearing as small patches of light brown.

"Hey, uh, Miss Ming? Are you in there?" called a nervous voice from outside the tent, breaking through Tigress' silent observation.

Before she could answer, a feline head poked inside the tent. A pair of almost-but-not-entirely familiar golden orbs stared at her with a mix of surprise and bewilderment.

"Sorry for the intrusion Miss Ming, but I just thought you'd like to know that the Furious Five are here. I-I...er, thought you'd like to meet them...."

Tigress said nothing and took this time to observe the intruder.

So, _this_ was the actor who played Tai Lung. He was undoubtedly of the same species as the real thing, albeit with a different pattern of rosette spots on his pelt. The heavy set brow was absent, giving him a more youthful appearance and the moustache, which had been present on-stage, was nowhere to be found. His build was slightly less bulky but was still quite muscular – he would have been intimidating if it weren't for the way he held himself, slightly hunched over and with his hands clasped nervously behind his back. His voice held none of the menace and aged timbre as the real Tai Lung did; instead, it still cracked a bit with nervousness, belying his youth. He was still wearing the trademark purple trousers and intimidating iron studded leather belt, but managed to still appear less than threatening.

Tigress again was impressed at the chameleonic abilities of the acting troupe – they clearly deserved the fame they had garnered from across the country.

"I-I'm sorry again for the intrusion...Miss Mi—er, I mean, _Ming_. I just thought you'd be, you know, interested...." he continued again, shuffling nervously. He looked to be deep in contemplation for a few moments, before suddenly gaining a determined expression on his face and nodding to himself.

Quicker than it seemed possible because of his bulk, he closed the gap between himself and Tigress. In a swift motion, he put a large paw around her lower back and made to dip her low into the ground, obviously intended as a romantic gesture.

Unfortunately, this set off all but any feelings of romance within Tigress. Faster than she herself could think, she used the momentum generated by the dip to grab his arm and with a pivot of her leg, flipped the much larger feline on his back with a resounding slam.

"Whoa...." he groaned groggily from the ground, his pupils unfocused. "When Miss Ming puts herself into a role, she really puts herself _into_ it!"

Tigress felt her stomach drop. What had she just done? This guy was just an actor – a simple-minded but otherwise good-hearted fellow. She quickly knelt beside him and held up two fingers.

"I'm sorry! Are you alright? How many fingers do you see?"

"Miss Ming looks really pretty with the stage make-up on – why hasn't she removed it yet? I know Miss Ming doesn't really like to wear make-up off-stage but this foolish one thinks it makes her even prettier than she already is..." he slurred from the ground, still quite dizzy.

Tigress gave a small grin at the snow leopard's behaviour – he really was laying on the honorifics and politeness, probably still wondering what he had done wrong.

"Hey Master Tigress, I'm back and—what the....what happened?" said Ming as she entered from the back of the tent, dressed in a light pink _cheongsam_. The striped markings on her face looked quite different now, having removed the artificially applied ones that were required for her role.

"I'm sorry, he came in here and _tried_ to—well, I reacted and..." explained Tigress, still kneeling beside the fallen actor.

"Oh for crying out loud..." Ming muttered as she knelt beside her fellow performer as well. "Shun? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine Miss Mi—why is there two of you? I must have taken quite a fall...." he said, sitting up with some help from both females.

"Honestly, trying something with Master Tigress? Have you gotten tired of me so quickly?" said Ming in mock anger, though she kept a mischievous smile fixed on her face.

Shun's jaw hung open for a few moments, looking at the two female tigers, both looking amused at his plight, before kneeling in apology before Ming, bowing until his forehead touched the ground.

"This _unworthy_ one apologizes, Miss Ming! I thought the great Master Tigress was you and...well, you always said this unworthy one should be more spontaneous and I....I am _sorry_!"

Turning towards Tigress, he took another low bow, shaking with fright.

"I apologize Master Tigress! For, well......for _that_."

Ming sighed before gently placing her hands on the cowering snow-leopard's shoulders and standing him up.

"Master Tigress, this is my fiancé, Tao Shun. He's the newest member of our troupe." said Ming brightly, patting the snow leopard on the shoulder.

"Pleased to meet you, Master Tigress. Again, I am sorry for before." he said, shaking Tigress' hand lightly.

"No worries. I'm sorry too – I should've said something. I can't say I blame you for the misconception. Ming here is really quite convincing." Tigress replied casually, finding it difficult to stay mad at the poor boy.

* * *

The two performers and the warrior chatted for a while until Ming brought out a small wooden table and began to fix tea for the three of them.

"Shun darling? Would you go get us some rice dumplings?" Ming asked sweetly.

"Yes, of course, Miss Ming!" Shun replied brightly, hurrying off.

"Don't _call_ me that!" she yelled after him, as his tail gradually disappeared from the tent flap. "Honestly, you'd think he's start calling me more casually after dating for one year...."

"He seems like a nice boy. _Very _polite." Tigress mused.

"Yeah, it's not like it's a _bad_ thing – I mean, I certainly prefer it over the kind of shit other men pull around me. It just gets a bit much at times; it feels like I have a manservant instead of a boyfriend."

Tigress gave a tiny smile at the astute observation from Ming. Despite the rather fearsome reputation of snow leopards, fanned even further by the crimes of Tai Lung, the few she did meet along her travels were really very nice people. She was surprised to learn that very few of them were warriors – they preferred to keep to themselves, most of them living in remote farming villages far from the cities and lived a simple way of life. They apparently believed that fighting would only lead to unwanted trouble.

"I don't mean to pry, Ming, but how'd Shun end up with your troupe?" Tigress asked, sipping a bit of tea from her cup.

"Oh, that. Well, back when I was young, Peng – he's our writer and director, the turtle from the show – took me and a few others to perform some free shows in the mountains. He does that, you know; he says it helps to gain a fan-base everywhere.

"Anyways, Shun's village was in one of those mountains and he saw us perform. He said he wanted to be an actor ever since. Also...."

Ming trailed off as her face began to turn red again. "...he, um, wanted to get _closer _to me. He followed the troupe around, where ever we were performing. He finally introduced himself to us one day and we hired him as a stage hand."

Tigress nodded in understanding, repressing a slight urge to sigh dreamily. It was actually quite romantic when one thought about it, although Shun apparently had some stalker-like tendencies.

"He was real good as a stage hand, if a bit clumsy at times. He was always there when we needed him and never asked for higher wages or anything. He just asked us to train him how to be an actor.

"We took turns training him. Yang—he played Master Monkey—trained him in _taolu_ and I trained him in singing. He learned really fast and when Peng started writing this new play about you guys, well, we felt like he was ready to take on his first real role."

Tigress gave a smile as she finished her cup of tea, being reminded of her intention of speaking with the writer. She decided to bring it up later when the opportunity presented itself.

"Sounds like he has a bright future ahead of him."

"Yeah, that he does." agreed Ming, sighing wistfully.

"When did you first realize you had feelings for him, if you don't mind my asking?" Tigress inquired.

The actress gave a small giggle as she twiddled her thumbs nervously. "Oh, a few months after we began training him to perform. It took a little while longer for me to admit it – I realized I had to take him before somebody else did. I mean, well – just _look_ at him."

The female kung fu master found herself agreeing; despite his awkward movements and nervous speech, Shun was really quite handsome.

"What does he think about portraying Tai Lung?" Tigress asked. It had been a nagging question in the back of her mind for quite some time.

"He doesn't really mind. At the end of the day, he says, we're really just here to entertain people. It's kinda up to them if they wanna take what we show them at face value or if they wanna dig deeper. We're just here to make sure everybody has a good time."

"That we did." said Tigress, finding a whole new respect for the theatre."Thank you very much for the wonderful performance."

"It was our pleasure, Master Tigress." said Ming pleasantly, raising her cup to the other female tiger. She cleared her throat after a sip, looking a bit nervous about something.

"Er, by the way, you're not too upset about the...'artistic license' we took with the play right? I mean, I know you don't have a thing for the Dragon Warrior, but Peng says that a romantic side story would help draw in more crowds."

Tigress shrugged, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. "No, no, I'm fine with it. Hey, as long as people don't take them too seriously right? And, maybe you could let them know early on that you're not necessarily showing all the events as they actually happened."

"Will do. I'll get them to put that on a poster or something."

A soft rustle of fabric alerted the two female tigers the return of Shun who was carrying a small tray of rice dumplings and honey crackers.

"Sorry it took so long, Miss Ming, Master Tigress." he said, kneeling down to set the tray of food on the table.

Ming gave Tigress a meaningful glance as if to say 'utterly hopeless'. She quietly sidled over to the still fussing snow leopard and proceeded to deliver a searing kiss that lasted for quite a while.

She finally freed her lips from his after a few moments. "Don't call me that."

"Yes darling."

* * *

"Can you believe those guys?! I mean, how hard is it to find a _mantis_ around these parts?" grumbled Mantis when Tigress was reunited with her comrades. It had grown darker as night fell completely over the camp, but the full moon hung over the field like giant lantern, bathing everything in a bluish glow. A few crowds gathered around the pot of stew simmering away on a fire, eager to start dinner.

"What's wrong with you?" Tigress asked the fuming insect.

"He's just mad he was played by a prop on stage." said Viper from beside insect, who was still grumbling expletives under his breath. "One of the Seven Little Fortunes? Yeah, that's him over there."

Tigress turned her gaze towards where Viper was pointing her tail to see a jolly looking rhinoceros sharing a drink with some of the crew members. He was laughing merrily at a shared joke between himself and the other crew members, his deep, resonating chuckle echoing in the distance.

Tigress raised an eyebrow, a tad confused. "That's him?"

"Yep. He was the one moving the _stick _with the Mantis shaped cut-out attached to it and doing the voice." said the serpent, a wicked smile on her face.

The insect shot her a dirty glare and smiled sadistically. "At least they got my _gender_ right!"

The female serpent's head turned an interesting shade of purple as she hissed at Mantis. "I'll have you know that Yao Zu is a very accomplished character actor!"

"Yeah, with a wife, three kids and one grandkid on the way!" Mantis guffawed, earning another death glare from Viper.

Tigress chuckled at her friends' antics and turned to regard Crane.

"What about you? Anything interesting happen?"

"Oh, our boy's got game!" Mantis interjected, deciding to turn his sights on the avian master. "He just earned himself a new fan!"

Tigress raised a quizzical brow at the bird who seemed to be trying to hide in his own feathers.

"I, er, met the actress who played me...."

Tigress gave a snort. "_Actress?_" She had briefly wondered why the performer playing Crane in the play wore a shirt. Also, while the 'Crane' on stage was just as graceful and soft spoken as her avian friend, there was something she couldn't put her finger on.

"Yes, well, she seemed to know me quite well, so they thought she could do a good job playing me." he said awkwardly. "She's apparently been interested in the role for quite some time."

Mantis continued to chuckle from the sidelines. "Dude, how freaky is it that 'stage-you' has a thing for the real you?"

Crane made an odd choking sound, flapping his wings wildly. "Will you be _quiet_?! She's ten years younger than me! If Mei Ling hears about this...."

"Where are Po and Monkey?" Tigress wondered aloud, less to let the others know her thoughts and more to stop the insect from further harassing Crane.

"Right over there." Viper pointed, a new wave of giggles coming from her. Turning towards the direction of her tail, Tigress was treated to the surreal sight of _two_ Dragon Warriors, one looking very, very annoyed and the other looking quite calm.

"Okay, buddy, let's do this again. What's _your _name?" the Annoyed One asked the Calm One.

"I told you, my name is Po. I was but the son of a humble noodle maker until destiny called upon me to bestow its mission." replied the Calm One gently, his voice nearly identical to the currently fuming Annoyed One.

"No, _I_ am but the son of a humble noodle maker until destiny called, blah blah blah!"

Tigress continued to watch open mouthed as the two bears continued to talk, the Annoyed One growing increasingly more irritated.

"That's Yuen Biao. He's a method actor." Viper explained, gesturing towards the Calm One. "They say he never breaks character during the entire tour. _Ever._"

A small laugh escaped from Tigress' mouth before she could stop it. She hadn't even thought it was possible to get Po that mad.

"They've been at it for hours." deadpanned Crane.

The leader of the Five gave a small nod and started to look for a familiar simian master with her eyes.

"Anyone seen where Monkey is?" she asked.

"Over there." pointed Crane with a wing where two nearly identical langurs seemed to be having a heated conversation.

As Tigress strained her ears, she could make out bits and pieces from the two simians.

"You. Were. Very. Good!" said Monkey, making sure to enunciate each word slowly and carefully.

His counterpart nodded excitedly and cleared his throat. "Very...good!" he said in a very thick Mandarin accent.

Monkey groaned. "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"

The other simian simply gave a grin and thumbs up. Monkey fought the urge to slap a palm over his face and awkwardly returned the thumbs up before turning to leave.

His counterpart tried one last time to make conversation. "I....do...my....own stunts!" he yelled at Monkey's retreating form.

"Yeah, who does your _acting_?" Monkey muttered tersely even as he smiled and waved back. He trudged back to join his group, along with Po who looked as mentally exhausted as the simian did.

"My accent is not that bad, is it?" he asked his teammates.

"No, of course not!"

"Why would you even think that?"

"Naw, man...."

"I think your accent's awesome!"

"Never. _Mind_." Monkey growled as the Furious Five bade their goodbyes to the crewmembers and the Seven Little Fortunes who all gathered together to say their goodbyes. Each member of the presentation, including the turtle Peng began clapping wildly until the entire campsite erupted into a loud cheer.

Tigress smiled at Ming and Shun who waved back at her, their hands intertwined.

The female kung fu master slowly raised her hands to quiet the excited crowd.

"Thank you all for a wonderful show. Good luck on your coming performances." she said. She looked meaningfully at her teammates and put her fist against her open palm. She looked sideways at Po who imitated her, then turned at Crane who held the pose as well. Almost as if rehearsed, they all took a bow amidst the applause.

END

* * *

A/N: For those who don't know, the _Seven Little Fortunes_ was the name of the performance troupe that Jackie Chan was part of, consisting of the best students of the China Drama Academy; Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao (the namesake of the actor who played Po in the story) were members as well. As such, they usually appeared in each other's movies – I recommend seeing them even if you're not a big kung-fu fan since the humour is pretty damned sharp as well. My favourite movies where all three appear are **Wheels On Meals, Dragons Forever **and the **Lucky Stars** movies.

Also, made a sorta-obvious reference to **Rush Hour** here; before some people get angry, I am a big fan of Jackie Chan and have no intention of undermining his performance but come on, did they have to hire him for _voice-acting_?

Shun, and his mannerisms, is more than a little bit inspired by Himura Kenshin from the famous anime **Rurouni Kenshin**, one of my favourite shows of all time. It really took a while for me to get used to the fact that this fic is set in China, not Japan :D

BTW, the fact that Ming (who plays Tigress) and Shun (who plays Tai Lung) are dating is sort of my first 'baby-steps' into writing a full-on TigressxTaiLung romance, as well as a tribute to the popular pairing. Ming's onstage kiss with Yuen Biao (who plays Po) is my shout-out to all the lovely Pogress fics out there.

Crane worrying over Mei Ling is a reference to the previous Mei Ling trilogy, as this is set after that. Just so you guys know, I'm not breaking my 'stand-alone' story rule altogether but if I get inspired, I might write another multi-chapter fic soon.

Finally, the entire scenario is more than just partially based on the the Avatar episode, **The Ember Island Players - **the 'shipping' tributes and the gender-swapping of the actors, in particular, were pretty much lifted straight from that ^_^;; I'm just hoping the TV series in production for KFP right now takes a cue from Avatar (which I know has a very slim chance of happening...)

Anyways, read and review guys! Thanks for all your continued support!


	10. Let It Snow

_A/N: To all my loyal readers, I just want you guys to know that firstly, I am SO sorry for being out of action for quite some time. Life in the real world has been getting pretty darned real lately and it's getting harder and harder to find time to relax. Second, I'd like to thank everyone who has stuck by me and my work on – off the top of my head (so I apologize to those that I haven't included; I am still utterly thankful for your reviews and patronage), I'd like to thank __**Nievelion, Luna Goldsun, Joe England, Mind Assassin, SpartanGuy, Jonny Nam, Purpleground, Corset-rebellion-follower**__, __**Falcon-Mage.**__ You guys are seriously great. _

_I made the concept for this chapter pretty much after watching the KFP Holiday Special, so please forgive the lateness in posting the chapter :D

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"Ah_, damn_. How are you doing that?"

Po grinned to himself as he listened to Master Shifu lose to his Dad in yet another round of checkers, a favourite activity in the Ping household during the Winter Solstice Festival. It really was amazing, he mused, how both paternal figures in his life got along so well. Despite the rather distinct difference between the martial and culinary arts, perfection was demanded from both walks of life, which was something his mentors had in common.

It was part of the reason why he nearly tore himself in half trying to keep his responsibilities to them – he held the two men in such high regard.

Sure, he nearly drove someone to suicide as a result of trying to please them both but….

…..well, actually no, that was pretty messed up. He'd have to be careful who he waved to next time.

"Hey, you wanna take a break from that?" said a voice, interrupting his thoughts. He looked up from the iron pot he was standing vigil over to see the smiling face of Master Tigress.

The panda responded with a grin of his own, giving the contents of the pot a stir. "Nah, the dumpling soup's almost done. Gotta have dumpling soup at the Winter Festival, right?"

The striped cat gave quiet chuckle, shutting the door behind her. She sat on a nearby bench, her hands resting on the long table in front of her.

"Panda, the soup's really not going to burn if you sat down for a while."

Po rubbed his neck sheepishly as he set the ladle down and sat next to Tigress, sighing as the bench creaked under his considerable weight.

"Sorry. Just, y'know, trying to keep things running smooth-like."

Tigress smiled gently. "You've done enough. I have to admit, this is probably the most fun Winter Festival we've had in a while."

Po nodded, watching from the kitchen window as Master Rhino continued to regale the children with his stories. "Yeah, it's pretty awesome. I'm glad you guys could make it here."

"Well, I'm glad you up and left that formal dinner when you did," the feline responded with a laugh.

Po stared at her quizzically.

She grinned at his expression. "Honestly, one more dinner where I have to eat every little thing in a specified order, and I probably would've lost it."

The panda smiled at the joke. Another amazing thing was just how….mellowed out Tigress seemed to be lately. She smiled a lot more, almost twenty times this week alone!

Not that he was counting.

"Who am I kidding?" continued Tigress with a sigh, watching the snow fall from the entrance of the noodle shop. "I would've kept wearing that stupid hat and having those ceremonies every year for the rest of my life if you hadn't come along."

"Naw, I didn't…I mean anyone would've…." Po began, but quickly trailed off at Tigress' look.

"What you did today….I don't know how you managed it," she continued. "I mean, the pressure and expectations…."

The noodle chef smiled to himself remembering the hectic workload from earlier. "I couldn't have done it without you guys. And believe me I was really close to just throwing in the towel."

"But you didn't. And because of that, we're having ourselves a hell of Winter Festival," said Tigress, a note of pride in her voice. "Like Master Shifu says, what's inside your head isn't something we always get. But what's in your heart…..well, it's somethin' else."

The panda blushed happily at the compliment. "Thanks."

They were silent for a few moments, the comfortable heat coming from the stove staving off the freezing winter wind. Most of the patrons of the noodle shop had left for the night, leaving only Shifu, the Five, Po, his dad and a few of their friends and relatives.

"Po?"

"Yeah?"

"Soup's done."

The panda got up excitedly as he took a ladleful of dumpling soup and poured the steaming concoction into a bowl. He repeated the action again, ending up with two fresh servings of dumpling soup. He gave one to his feline companion, who accepted it gratefully.

The striped feline took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of the soup, before a melancholic look graced her features.

"I have something to say."

The panda smacked his lips, having taken a sip of the broth. "Yeah, needs a bit more garlic powder."

"Huh? No, what I meant was…." the feline quickly shook her head, setting her bowl on the table and taking a deep breath. "…I'm sorry."

Po turned from the pot he was sprinkling garlic powder on to look at Tigress curiously. "Uh….sorry? For what?"

"For everything. Just….just for _everything_," she replied, her head bowed. "I mean, even now, I see why you're the Dragon Warrior. And I guess….I'm sorry I didn't see it before."

The panda looked flabbergasted. "It's fine. I mean, come on, it's been almost a year…."

"Yes, and I'm apologizing just _now_!" snarled Tigress bitterly. "Gah, I'm such a…."

"Hey, no, it's all good now!" said Po, frantically waving his arms, as if to banish the gloominess overtaking Tigress. "I mean, _I _didn't see it before! Shifu didn't see it before! No one did!"

"I _should've_," she replied quietly, sitting down on the wooden bench.

The panda, despite his still burning admiration for all members of the Five, tried not to groan. He was beginning to see why not getting the Dragon Warrior title really chuffed up Master Tigress. She just put way too much pressure on herself!

"No, wait, look at it this way," he said, taking a seat beside her on the bench. "I mean, if it wasn't for everyone busting my chops, then I never would've gotten upset right? Then I never would've broke into the pantry for a bite that morning! Master Shifu never would've figured out how to train me! I would've been nothing but a big fat panda instead of _The_ Big Fat Panda, right?"

Tigress looked up at him, her features brightening up a touch. "I…suppose. I'm still sorry though. I could've been nicer. I could've tried your noodle soup."

With a grin, the panda promptly picked up the still steaming bowl of dumpling soup and presented it to the female tiger.

"Well, let's eat up then!" he said jovially. Both of them took a sip of the broth, letting out sighs of contentment afterwards.

Tigress looked appreciatively at the rotund warrior. "This _is_ good."

"Thanks. Say, did you get to watch any of the folk dances?"

"Yes, Wo Hop took me and the other Masters to see his family a while ago," she explained. "We watched a few of the dancers then."

"Cool," he replied, taking another sip of the dumpling soup. "I never knew you liked the folk dances so much. And that's coming from a _major_ fan here."

Tigress gave a small grin and a nostalgic sigh, picking up a small dumpling with her chopsticks.

"Master Shifu used to take me down to the town square to celebrate back when I was little. But I grew up and well….the responsibilities, you know?"

Po nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I only had a taste of it this one time. You've been at it for…." He began drawing imaginary numerals in the air, mumbling calculations.

"Since I was nine," supplied Tigress helpfully. "This is the first time in a long time that I've had a chance to just _relax_ on Winter Festival and I'm guessing I owe you that."

The panda beamed at the compliment. He then took the ladle and began to fill several bowls with portions of dumpling soup.

"Er, Master Tigress, you mind…"

To his surprise, he saw Tigress balancing several bowls on her arms and head expertly.

"Heh, Fujian White Crane style, opening stance" she said. "Who'da thought?"

The pair exited the kitchen and was met with greetings of approval by the remaining festival attendees. As each visitor helped themselves to a bowl, the feline and bear made their way to the table where their fellow masters had chosen to sit.

"Hey guys," said Po with a small wave, sitting down on a stool. He spotted a small plate of what looked to be mixed vegetables, an oddly viscous dressing covering them.

The panda grinned excitedly, eyeing the plate. "_Sweet_, who made salad?"

Viper let out a frantic hiss. "Don't _touch_ that!" Strangely enough, she was looking a bit greener than usual.

Po let out a small chuckle, beginning to bring the plate closer to him. "Aw, come on, Master Viper, I can whip you up a new salad in no time. I just need a l'il…"

The female snake gave him a glare and then turned on a very guilty looking Crane and ecstatic Monkey and Mantis. "Those three have been getting your Uncle Yang to spit up things from his nose _all night_."

Po quickly released the plate and looked at it disgustedly. "There's a _whole_ lettuce leaf in there."

"Yep, I've just invented a new word to describe it," announced Mantis proudly. "_Disgustincredible_."

Quick as a flash, the striped paw gingerly took hold of the offending plate and threw the contents in a nearby ditch. She made her way back to the table, looking much less green around the gills than she did previously.

The night wore on and as the snow began to fall once more, the visitors began to make their ways home. Masters Rhino and Sheep had gained quite an avid young fan base and promised to come again next time, provided that Mister Ping and his son continue to provide the edibles of course. Wo Hop and his brethren also said their goodbyes, promising to cook again for Po, in much less formal circumstances.

And now, Master Shifu was shaking Mister Ping's extended wing, his determined gaze holding the promise of much improved checker strategies the next time around.

Po was just making his way to the back kitchen once more, ready to let the dishes soak in warm water to be taken cared of tomorrow, when he felt a gentle tap on his lower back.

He turned around to see Master Viper looking up at him with a serene smile.

"You were _amazing_ today," she said quietly, drawing herself higher to better meet the taller warrior's gaze. "Kinda makes me feel dumb for thinking you couldn't do 'elegant'."

Po blushed lightly, awkwardly placing his paw on the back of his neck. "It's cool, I never could've done it without…."

He was cut off as Master Viper delivered a feather light kiss on the side of cheek.

"See ya tomorrow Po," she said, quickly slithering to the exit, trailing behind her comrades.

The event was just beginning to register in his head, when Po noticed a white clad figure had remained standing underneath the arch of the entrance to the noodle shop, still and silent as a tree.

As his mind began to clear, he realized it was Tigress, her back turned to him.

After a few more seconds of silence, she turned towards him, a small, strange smile on her features.

"Happy Holiday, Po."

Before he could respond, she started walking away quickly, the snow crunching beneath her feet.

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_A/N: Yep, a kinda-sorta cliffhanger at the end there. Don't worry though, I'm definitely planning on continuing this, especially since the TV series and the new movie are looming on the horizon and looking pretty good. Now, I know some of you were expecting Tai Lung to make an appearance here, possibly as a love interest for Tigress. Sadly, I just couldn't find a way to make it happen. So, for a dose of TaiLungxTigress, I'll point you to my other fic __**Stripes and Spots Shuffles **__which is basically straight up TaixTigress._


	11. Darkest Before Dawn

**A/N: Nope not dead! Just a little something to get the juices flowing again. Kinda rusty, so please forgive me!**

**This is a deleted scene from KFP2, before Po returns from getting shot by a cannon. **

The sound of flesh and bone crashing against metal reverberated throughout the walls of the holding cell.

China was doomed to fall.

The insane heir of an abandoned throne was going to win.

Kung fu was dead.

And yet, Master Tigress didn't care, as she continued to ram her already throbbing shoulder against the hull of the giant battle ship that they were being held in.

She didn't care.

China could burn. And may Lord Shen live long and rule over the ashes.

Po was dead. She had let him die.

If only he had listened, stayed put like she said….but no, it went against his very nature. He wouldn't be the Dragon Warrior if he had followed those villagers in the evacuation.

He would never have been a Master had he snapped under the abuse she and her comrades had put him through the first time around.

Po couldn't help himself. And because of her failure to realize this, he was dead.

Her four cellmates, in varying states of depression, watched sullenly as she continued her futile pursuit.

That is, until one of them had had enough.

"Stop it."

CLANG!

"Damn it, Tigress, WILL YOU STOP?" came the anguished cry of Viper, barely holding in her tears. The snake looked drained; her sunny disposition replaced by a look of bottomless despair.

"I can't…." Tigress hissed in between punches, her knuckles beginning to bleed as they hit the wretched iron of the ship over and over.

"Please, just STOP!" cried Viper, wrapping herself around the feline. Tigress let out a brief roar of anger struggling against her captor.

"Let….GO!" she snarled, shaking and straining against the snake's muscular coils.

A sudden gale of wind sent the two females sprawling on the floorboards.

Crane looked like a ghost, his eyes weary and fatigued. "Stop it, the both of you. This isn't what he would've wanted."

"He…" Tigress grimaced and held her shoulder gingerly. Viper looked crestfallen, slithering away from the striped cat after muttering a quiet apology.

The four watched as their leader sat in silence, her eyes closed tightly, as if wishing she were in a dream.

"He….he was a damned fool!" she yelled, raising her fist once again and sending it hurtling towards the iron floor. "He didn't _know_ what he wanted! I told him to stay put! I wanted him _safe!_ Why didn't you listen to me?_"_

There was shocked silence among the remaining four. Monkey held a hand to his mouth, sobbing softly, while Mantis hastily wiped away the tiny drops flowing from his eyes. Viper was weeping openly, making hushed sobs from her corner of the cell.

Crane made his way to Tigress and put a gentle wing around her shoulder as she continued to ramble on.

"Stupid….what am I….oh gods!" Tigress continued, her eyes widening in sudden horror. "His father! What will I tell his father? How will I explain….?"

The feathered master made quiet hushing noises even as his own tears began to flow. The tiger, known for her ferocious strength, wrapped her arms around the frail looking bird.

"It's my fault…" she said hollowly, her voice beginning to crack.

"No, it isn't. If he were here, he'd say the same." Crane said, his voice breaking as well. He held Tigress as the other gathered around them.

Mantis, not bothering to hide his tears anymore, hopped over to a spot near Tigress. He carefully took hold of one of her hands, quietly examining the wounds on her knuckles.

He flexed each of the fingers slowly, checking for fractures. "How…how does it feel?"

Tears welled up in Tigress' eyes and she began to sob.

"It hurts."


	12. Worth It

**A/N: Ok, another short one-shot for everyone still reading my stuff. Thanks for the support and reviews guys! I just got my medical degree (woohoo!) so I'm going to do my best to try and get back at this writing gig.**

**On another note, I watched **_**Legends of Awesomeness**_** and was frankly sort-of disappointed. I guess I was just expecting something more substantial from a show involving The Track Team 's music and Sifu Kisu's input. There were some touches of brilliance here and there, but most of the time, it was frankly a bit underwhelming.**

"So."

Song struggled to swallow as discreetly as possibly, intent on masking her ever growing terror. The Ladies Of The Shade had spent the last year and a half performing for free all over China, in an effort to cleanse their reputation. Their routines has gotten much more elaborate and quite complex, yet they still performed mostly for free.

She had spent the better part of eighteen months thinking of how proud _he_ was going to be of her. After all, it had been he who had inspired her to take the straight and narrow path anyway.

It had been quite simple to admit to herself that she was very much taken with him; he was her light and rescued her from a life of crime and potential incarceration.

"_He's worth it._", she thought, as she sat in the dark in an undisclosed location.

She had gone to the Valley of Peace to visit the panda – she rented an inn, gotten dressed to meet him and subsequently woke up in a dark room with nothing but a table, a chair and a small candle for company.

"We've been hearing things about you and your little group." The voice continued. The tiny flame of the candle did little to enhance visibility in the dark blanket of the room, but Song could make out a slender shape flitting about.

"Interesting. It seems as though you're trying to make up for past….indiscretions."

A soft hiss permeated the silence as Song came face to face with Master Viper. The female warrior was well known for her kindness and grace; something the snow leopard had a hard time believing as the snake smiled in a none-too-pleasant way.

Viper grinned, secretly hoping the candle-light brought out the gleam in her fangs.

"I'm all for second-chances", she stated casually, slithering behind Song. "I believe there is good in everyone and if a person wants to prove their worth, I will always – _always_ – give them the benefit of the doubt."

Song's lips were in the middle of forming a "Thank you" when she felt the serpent's powerful coils lay threateningly around her windpipe.

"Let me be clear." Viper said, her unnerving fanged smile still in place. "I choose to trust you because Po trusts you. That panda sees things most people don't, and I have to believe him when he says that he sees good in you."

Song felt the heavy sinewy muscle weigh on her neck. She swallowed a cough that threatened to loose itself.

"Po is...very special to me," began the snow leopardess. "You're absolutely right; he saw things that even I've never seen before and I've spent the last year trying to show everybody that he wasn't wrong."

The female serpent's eyes softened somewhat. "That's good. Now you get to show us. Welcome to the Jade Palace."

Sunlight flooded the room as Master Viper made her way outside. From what Song could gather, they were in a small cave, decorated only with the most basic amenities.

Viper's form slithered towards the cave entrance, not turning to look back at Song.

"Po…_is_ special. To the people in this Valley. To us. To _me._ You do anything to hurt him and you'll be in Chor-Ghom so fast your head'll spin."

The female snow leopard felt a small stab in her chest at the implication. She was still seething from anger that she failed to notice the other feline in the room. Master Tigress was leaning against the wall, he arms crossed, watching the smaller woman intently.

Song was about to make her way outside as well when she finally took notice of her silent companion.

"I would never hurt him. I'd kill myself before I do!" she snapped at the striped feline.

Her frayed nerves and indignance at being kidnapped caused her to speak without thinking. She immediately regretted her decision as Tigress slowly made her way towards her. The famous fighter was a few inches taller than her and had a much more robust frame, clearly suited for destroying anything in her path.

Master Tigress gave her a once-over, her eyes narrowed, before turning around.

"If you do anything that hurts him in any way, shape or form, you're not going to jail…."

Song paled slightly as Tigress tightened her fists at her sides, knuckles cracking and popping.

"…._I'm_ going to jail."

The ground crunched softly as Tigress walked away. Song let loose a breath she didn't know she was holding and sat down in the darkness.

She had done what would send most warlords fleeing to the mountains; earn the personal ire of not one, but _two _members of the Furious Five. One of whom was known to be able to kill _anyone_ with one strike and the other famous for taking on entire battalions by herself.

Despite her situation, Song managed a small grin. Leave it to Po to send three girls in a tizzy without even knowing it.

The female snow leopardess sighed wistfully as she blew out the candle, enveloping the cave in darkness once again.

Her father always said that nothing that's worth fighting for came easy.

And it looked like this was going to be a hell of a fight.


End file.
